#New Shadow Warriors V
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blackryan53 · 2 years ago
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千葉真一   Sonny Chiba    
1939年1月22日 - 2021年8月19日
新・影の軍団V 服部半蔵VS陰陽師   New Shadow Warriors V  2005
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timetot · 1 year ago
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[...philosophical. In the brown book in my sabretache there was the tale of an angel (perhaps actually one of the winged women warriors who are said to serve the Autarch) who, coming to Urth on some petty mission or other, was struck by a child's arrow and died. With her gleaming robes all dyed by her heart's blood even as the boulevards were stained by the expiring life of the sun, she encountered Gabriel himself. His sword blazed in one hand, his great two-headed ax swung in the other, and across his back, suspended on the rainbow, hung the very battle horn of Heaven.
"Where wend you, little one," asked Gabriel, "with your breast more scarlet than the robin's?"
"I am killed," the angel said, "and I return to merge my substance once more with the Pancreator."
"Do not be absurd. You are an angel, a pure spirit, and cannot die."
"But I am dead," said the angel, "nevertheless. You have observed the wasting of my blood—do you not observe also that it no longer issues in straining spurtings, but only seeps sluggishly? Note the pallor of my countenance. Is not the touch of an angel warm and bright? Take my hand and you will imagine you hold a horror new dragged from some stagnant pool. Taste my breath—is it not fetid, foul, and nidorous?"
Gabriel answered nothing, and at last the angel said, "Brother and better, even if I have not convinced you with all my proofs, I pray you stand aside. I would rid the universe of my presence."
"I am convinced indeed," Gabriel said, stepping from the other's way. "It is only that I was thinking that had I known we might perish, I would not at all times have been so bold."]
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nerdy-frog98 · 8 months ago
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as a bisexual, here’s a short list of my favorite canon bisexual characters; PART TWO!!
11. Evan “Buck” Buckley (he’s new to me but he’s DEAR to me)
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12. Marie Moreau (it never explicitly says she is, but her love interest is bigender, so I am making an assumption)
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13. Jordan Li (+ bonus, a bisexual AND bigender character 😭😘)
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14. Clara Oswald
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15. Villanelle
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(hopefully more to come soon 😌)
as a bisexual, here’s a short list of my favorite canon bisexual characters;
1. Rosa Diaz
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2. Alex Claremont-Diaz
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3. Nick Nelson
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4. Jesper Fahey
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5. Li Shang (maybe this one isn’t fully canon but it is to me)
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6. Michael Guerin
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7. Ava Silva (this gif has me SCREAMING by the way)
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8. Loki Laufeyson
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Angela Montenegro
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The Doctor!!! (they are probably pansexual but that’s under the bi umbrella so I’m counting it 🫶🏻)
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bokettochild · 5 months ago
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Just saw the update!
So, first thoughts!
Gremlin Legend and Sky is something I am LIVING for. Sky's little look of approval as he stands between Wars and Legend after that little move is sending me!
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(Wild is not impressed)
I also really love that JoJo played with Warriors' cape/scarf being capable of doing that, which is a major risk btw, but I love that we see it's potential now!
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Like, Legend's timing is perfect (and I love that this confirms the Legend v. Wars dynamic we all love) especially considering Hyrule was literally talking about the same thing and you'd THINK Captain-War-Hero over here would be more cautious because of it (although the fact this implies Legend doesn't trigger Warriors danger sense is GREAT for the fluff fic writers like me!)
Time and Wars looking like disappointed parents though is brilliant
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(Warriors with messy hair is so funny to me, help)
The continued portrayal of Time being too harsh with the boys, all tense after what happened to Twilight, that's great. i'm glad the consequences of past events are following them, it really makes this all feel linear!
I also am ALL HERE for the boys finding their differences! Warriors and Wild both admitting to being new to dungeon crawling and the monsters involved is a great thing we've all been playing with in fics, but making it cannon feels like validation :)
Also, Warriors being defensive of that, and maybe a bit prickly about their judgement, I think it shows a lot of him. he's got his pride,a although he's learned to tame it. He's feeling a bit miffed to realize how different he is, but doesn't want them seeing him as lesser as well (although they never would). I can also hear him using a clipped military sort of tone when speaking here. It's just the way his words are selected and strung together that makes it seem he's being very to the point, direct, and cold in his tone, which really sells the whole difference between a soldier and the "average nobody" that the rest of them were (ironic, since he's trying to act like the difference isn't a big deal but only further accentuates it this way).
Twilight being pleased that Epona is fine and just enjoying a meal made me grin so big though. He's all worried for his girl but she is, quite literally, happy as a horse over there LOL
Also, this bit:
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recognition for Sky's right-handedness, my beloved! (JoJo is giving us all the easter eggs!)
The fact that the passage is too small to let them all fight though is a brilliant way of preventing some of our heavy hitters and more skilled heroes from being able to do anything though!
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I like how that gives us the chance to see Time one-shot the foe and also gives him the impression that the rest are maybe not skilled enough to do this alone. WE all know they are, but they're a handicap to each other right now, and it's only further cementing in his mind that they're not ready for all this, which will make his overbearing speech and the judgement he casts on them in combat all the more an issue.
I mean, we all know the hero's shade was like that, but JoJo has shown Time acting this way from the start
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(Deep Shadows P.2)
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(Likelike)
So I guess we're in for more of that now, and most likely someone (probably Legend, as it's usually him, or Wind, who is very aware of judgement from teh rest) is definitely going to have to call him on it soon, maybe in the dungeon. Will that lead to some bonding with Time where he has to admit he cares and worries about them as though they're his own? I hope so!
Anyways, all this to say, we really are seeing how much they struggle to work together, so hopefully this dungoen will teach them all how to do that better, as Time mentioned earlier
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(Dawn p.8)
Now, to finish it off!I would like to thank JoJo for giving us so many beautiful shots of Twi this time around. I'll admit it now, he's pretty darn fine <3
That said, I'm loving the Legend content too! i hope we get to see some more starring moments from him going forwards, what with him being the dungeon veteran and all! It's great seeing his childish/playful side these last few updates, but I'm really craving some veteran Legend right now >:)
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wheneclipsefalls · 1 year ago
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Withered
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Beautiful Adult Neteyam photo by the wonderful @cinetrix
Pairing: Alpha Neteyam x Beta Fem Omatikaya Reader
Synopsis: You and Neteyam have opposite lives. He thrives in the daylight of possibilities while you are forced to the shadows. You are sure that the right course of action would be letting the future Olo'eyktan go. Neteyam is less convinced.
Based on a request from my 🥔 anon
Warnings: aged up characters, aged up neteyam, angst, health problems, explicit smut, dirty talk, crying, miscommunication, p in v, virgin reader, first time, omegaverse, alpha/beta relationship dynamic, heat, sickness, 18+ only MDNI
Tanhi: star/little star I Yawne: beloved I Sevin: pretty I Mawey: calm
A/N: I can't tell you all enough how grateful I am for the hype and many comments that have been around this story just from that small sneak peek I posted. This ended up being a lot longer than I ever anticipated but I had a blast writing it. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from y'all!
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For many the sun is a symbol of warmth, peace, and solace. The bright rays enwrap Na’vi of all ages in the glow of Eywa’s love. The rise of morning light represents a new day, another chance for adventure and possibilities. When the illuminating glow of yellow sunshine transforms into streaks of vibrant purples and pinks, it indicates a time for families to come together and tuck in for the night. 
However, for you, your day truly begins at the first glow of bioluminescence. Eclipse is your time to explore the world.
You were born with an almost unheard of disease. It only took a few days of your infant body breaking out into abnormal rashes for Tsahik to realize something was wrong. Exposure of more than a few minutes to sunshine causes detrimental effects to your body. For this reason, you are forced to avoid the vibrant glow of the sun. 
From that moment on you have lived your life almost nocturnally. On lucky days the clouds protect you from the harmful UV rays. Rain has come to be your favorite weather as it allows you an escape from your hut. 
Despite these difficulties you have always strived to remain positive. You thank your parents for their gracious attitudes that inspire you to look for the silver lining in all situations. Sure you can not sunbathe or prowl the forest during sunny days but no one knows the forest at Eclipse as well as you do. Your knowledge has come in handy more than a few times, being asked to guide night hunts with some of the most notorious warriors in the clan.
This is where you met Neteyam.
The firstborn of the infamous Toruk Makto and your future Olo’eyktan, you originally assumed he would have no interest in interacting with you. You knew him from afar, hearing the word spread of his kindness and diligence when it came to helping those around him. His alpha status only served to bring a larger gaggle of girls practically falling at his feet. As a beta and suffering from a rare condition, you naturally took yourself out of the run up. You were confident he would choose some sweet and knowledgeable omega that would be the perfect tsahik. 
However, your assumptions quickly crumbled as he progressively paid attention to you more and more throughout these night hunts. Instead of joining the rest of the alpha warriors gathering to share a strong drink after a successful kill, he would opt to check in with you. You were shy at first, unsure of how to act around such an influential member of the clan. However, there was something about those golden orbs and soft smile that quickly set you at ease. 
You still remember the first time you had sustained a small injury during these hunts. It was nothing more than a shallow slash to your forearm, but Neteyam had insisted on carefully wrapping it himself. You gushed over him like an idiot, reminding him that it was unnecessary but  he showed his stubborn side that day. 
At first you thought it was your own overactive imagination noticing the frequency of night hunts he signed up for increase, but eventually it had become every single night. No matter how boned-tired he was from a day of full Olo’eyktan training, he would beam at the sight of your small form. His scent was something that seemed to constantly enrapture your senses. The heavy essence of pine and hormonal swings was so much stronger than yours. It took some getting used to. The first few nights you were bashful to come home and find evidence of your arousal dampening your loincloth. 
Still, you told yourself it was just a simple crush that you had to live with. It took weeks for you to even consider the possibility of Neteyam showing interest in you. He had been consistent in bringing you out of your shell, getting you to talk about everything from your family to the fondest hope and dreams in your heart. Oftentimes he would stay back behind after the hunt to help you join him sitting on an overarching thick branch (you were grateful for the darkness of eclipse that hid your blush each time he effortlessly hoisted you up with large hands gently holding your waist) and chat away into the night. 
It was only when the gifts began that you gave these interactions a second thought. It had started small with simple flowers and fruits he had encountered throughout the day. However, they slowly became more intricate. The first time he brought you a small woven bracelet of sparkling gems, you had been gobsmacked. 
“Like the night sky. The only thing appropriate for my tanhi.” He had said, making you almost choke on your own spit. Tahni- little star: a nickname he had coined for you after the first week. A fitting term for someone that only knew the night sky. Still, it was the first time he had ever called you his. The terminology was not lost on you. 
When the sun arose once more and you had retired back to your protected hut, those words had kept you up, your small fingers twiddling with the bracelet. 
Taking your acceptance of the small gift, Neteyam had become even more bold with his courting. Before you knew it he was bringing a meal with him for you before every hunt. You had tried to decline the thoughtful gesture but he would not take no for an answer. 
“Someone has to make sure you eat, tanhi.” 
There was no fighting the alpha on this, so you graciously took the meals each night. He smiled proudly as you moaned in satisfaction of the carefully seasoned meat he had killed and prepared for you. Another testament to the mighty warrior and beneficial mate he is. 
You started to think that the eldest Sully was simply a flirt, or perhaps such a kind person that his actions came off as romantic. However, there was one instance that finally tipped you to accepting his affections. It was a particularly successful hunt, dragging home a thanator, when he had slowed down to your pace. Talking about anything and everything under the night sky, your breath was practically stolen from your lungs when he reached out to tuck a strand of your dark hair behind your ear. 
However innocent the gesture was, it was the lingering of his hand running down your neck that caused your heart to bash against your rib cage violently. A simple brush that had left his scent to coalesce with yours. An essence that would keep other suitors away. Out of habit, you mentally went to play it off as a simple accident, but the crooked smirk plastered across his face did not allow you. There was a primal satisfaction seated in those golden orbs, one that caused a pool of arousal to gather in your core. 
He knew what he had done. 
Neteyam was proud of it. 
His affection was untethered from that point forward. Accidental brushes of fingers had turned into blatant hand holding. The alpha never missed an opportunity to press a warm hand to the small of your back, guiding you through the terrain, or wrap an arm around your waist in order to steady you when walking over uneven forest floor. 
“What kind of alpha would I be if I let you get hurt?” 
He had spoken in response to your inquiry, a cheeky grin plastered across his face.
Falling for Neteyam was easy. Too easy. It was keeping yourself back from jumping into his arms or melting into his embraces that was difficult. No matter how strange and suggestive his behavior had been, you didn’t want to get your hopes up. After all, there was no saying what he got up to during the day. For all you knew he could be taking omegas out every day and weaving sweet gifts for them too. 
So you had decided to do what was best for everyone and take yourself out of the situation before something embarrassing could happen. You declined the request to accompany the hunting party and instead went to spend some more time with your family. If your parents noticed the difference in your appearance they did not show it. They were always good at giving you space, respecting your independence as an adult (although your mother did go out of her way to place a comforting hand on your shoulder, a silent way to express her understanding and love). Neither of them knew about Neteyam at the time, it was easier that way. 
This fact only heightened their surprise when they saw Toruk Makto’s eldest son approaching their small gathering. You can still remember the intent gaze that Neteyam pierced you with. Your heart hammered out of your chest, hands fidgeting with the moss beneath you nervously. Neteyam signaled the traditional greeting to your parents before respectfully asking your father if he could borrow you for a moment. 
They were caught off guard, your dad turning back to send you a curious look, but naturally neither wanted to decline the Omatikaya prince. 
Once the two of you were finally alone, Neteyam immediately sprang into action. He grabbed your biceps and used that hold to turn you from side to side as he scanned your form. His intense inspection had blood rushing to your cheeks. 
“Neteyam, what are you doing? I thou-”
“Where are you injured?” You twitched when he reached a hand out to inspect your flicking tail too. Confusion swarmed within you. You had sputtered and struggled to put together a full sentence.
“It has been three days, Tanhi. I blew one day off as exhaustion or a fluke and the second as pure coincidence but surely only an injury would keep you away from the hunt for three days.” His eyes finally met yours again when there was no wound to be found. His tall frame had towered over yours as he reached out to cup your cheek. 
That familiar warmth and adoration you had for him had returned within an instant. 
You stepped back, successfully out of his grasp.
“I’m fine.” You replied simply. 
His tail swatted in the humid air and those golden orbs had squinted into slits. The focused attention of that look full of suspicion was enough to hold you down to your spot. You swallowed the lump in your throat and as you tried desperately to keep the fidgeting at bay. It was one of the few times you were grateful to be beta because surely an omega would shrivel under the pressure of his looming presence. 
“I don’t like when you lie to me, Tahni. Now tell me why I’ve had to go without my little star for three whole days.” Neteyam placed his hands sternly upon his hips, ears twitching forward as if preparing to take in your explanation. An explanation that you felt could not be shared. Doing so was bound to undermine your plans, completely destroying the efforts that had been made. 
“The group seems to be more than sufficient without my guidance.” You don’t dare to meet his eyes, your own orbs trained at the ground instead. In a moment’s notice his sculpted body was once again inches away from yours. His warmth came off of him in waves, along with the heady aura of alpha pheromones. 
You couldn’t hold back the shiver that ran down your spine when he placed heavy hands on your shoulders and bent over your frame till you could feel his calm breath against your ear. Neteyam’s tail wrapped around your thigh. A part of your brain told you to run, understanding the alluring danger that awaited you, while the other yearned to curl up against his impressive physique. 
You couldn’t understand how any omega managed to be around this male without completely dropping to their knees.
Suddenly you had some sympathy for the girls that had always fawned over him. 
“Tell me the truth, sevin.” The heated words tickled at your ears and made your heart skip a beat. It was foolish to think that there was any chance of lying to Neteyam, the mighty warrior that walked with the confidence of the supernatural. 
So you did.
You had scrambled to messily explain how it would be best if the two of you spent less time together. Unfortunately this unrehearsed synopsis included an approach that painted yourself as the foolish beta with a crush on the Omatikaya prince and therefore unable to handle herself around him. It was not the perspective you had hoped for, but it was the only one that could have been presented in your state of jumbled thought. 
Neteyam shook his head, an almost fond smile upon his lips. 
“Tanhi, you really do not like to make things easy for me.” A bitter laugh escaped his throat. The sound put you slightly on edge but there was no trace of anger in his expression. Amusement was easily perceivable in the raise of his hairless eyebrows. He had taken your humiliating and pathetic explanation in stride, in fact, he had found humor in it. 
“I thought I’ve made myself clear.” You were swooped into the encirclement of his arms in one quick motion. You squeaked and braced yourself against the warm muscles of his abdomen. “You are the mate I seek.” 
His words had thrown you into a spiral, your heartstrings plucking into rhythms of heightened emotion. It was almost too much to take in. A part of you still found security in denying these bold claims but there had been too much evidence at that point. Neteyam Sully had in fact been courting you. 
His head lowered, nuzzling at your face until you finally looked up at him. Your lips were only a breath apart. 
“If you’ll have me.” Neteyam whispered. 
There was no fighting the longings of your heart at that rate. That night you had agreed to his courting and within a month the two of you had been madly in love and preparing to officially mate. 
The process was faster, seemingly faster than anything else in your life. Night had always slowed you down from progressing in the normal rhythm of Na’vi milestones, but Neteyam had broken that pattern for you. 
You can still remember the vivid sensation of his tendrils connecting with your own. Those sparks of electricity that had created a direct line to his innermost feelings and thoughts. There was great solace to be found in the surging feelings of love and adoration he had for you, something you had been able to tap into. Still, nothing could ever compare with the way you felt for Neteyam. 
He’s your world. Your light. Your sun. 
Being with him feels like finally having a taste of those golden rays. You can see it in his smile. In the shake of his shoulders when his laughter trickles from soft lips. In the unashamed sparkle that overtakes his eyes in a coating whenever they land on you after a long day of training. 
Neteyam has become your world in only a matter of a few months. It is hard to imagine how you went so many years without this unbreakable connection between the two of you. Each night you wake up to the warm embrace of your mate who has come home from a long day of training. Soft kisses are placed along your eyelids, cheeks, and nose until your thick lashes flutter and you regain consciousness. 
The searing envious looks of other females can be felt at your back when the two of you join the rest of the clan for dinner each night, but it is only white noise in the presence of your handsome mate guiding you with a hand to the small of your back. In fact it becomes less than a passing memory when Neteyam goes on to share the events of the day in great detail, usually pulling out a tucked away gift he has found for you along the trails of his adventures. 
There is so much hidden beneath that emanating exterior of perfection that Neteyam upholds. He strips away those layers only for you, usually among the flowering meadow the two of you lay in while stargazing. The stories often end with your mate trailing off into a groggy murmur until the air fills with the sounds of his sleeping breaths. You prefer to stay tucked against him for a while longer, letting the moment last before you must wake him and shoo the mighty warrior back home for some much needed rest. 
While he sleeps you venture from the hut to forage and hunt, although Neteyam prefers to accompany you during dangerous hunts. You decide that what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. He is known to be an overprotective alpha anyway. Once food has been secured and your adventures have come to a close, you slip back into the darkened hut before the first break of dawn. Those specially made thick curtains are the difference between life and death for you. 
Although the tent has been sufficient for years, Neteyam continues to add to its layers. He is constantly worrying about the vulnerabilities of the hut, convinced that one slip could bring catastrophic consequences to his mate. So he works with his father to constantly rebuild and strengthen the exterior walls. There are times where you remind him of how unnecessary these actions are but Neteyam is undeterred by these conversations. So you let your mate continue his projects. If it brings him peace of mind to obsess over the structure then it must be doing some good. 
Things are great for the first month. Nothing sexual occurs during those first few weeks of being newly mated, out of respect to you. There is no denying that Neteyam has had experience in the ways of pleasuring females but you on the other hand have never been close to intimate with someone else. As a couple you decide to take things slow. However, you can not help but admire the restraint Neteyam shows when you catch the shift of his pheromones into that of lust or see the tightness of his loincloth after a particularly long make out session. 
Were it any other alpha you are sure that the time would have come for him to become impatient and work towards persuading you to go further with him. However, Neteyam knows that you are shy and nervous. He puts your needs before his own and constantly assures you that he is happy to wait so long as you feel comfortable when the time is right. 
Your apprehension has slowly been melting away. The soft caresses that travel along your form sends a burning thrill that is exotic to you. Moments where you are brave enough to straddle his lap while kissing, the friction of his groin against your core is electric. These new feelings have been quickly festering and building inside of you. The nerves have slowly morphed into alluring curiosity. It has been becoming harder to hold back.
For this reason, you’ve decided to tell Neteyam tonight that you are ready. Finally, the bond created through tsaheylu will be strengthened and confirmed by the intertwining of each other’s bodies. 
The last hints of sunshine have disappeared behind the moon. This time you wake before Neteyam has a chance to come wake you up himself. The nerves that bundle into a coil in your stomach have kept you from sleeping in so you decide to seek him out yourself. It shouldn’t be long till he is back from an exhibition with Jake. 
The village is lively with reuniting families after a prosperous day of duties. It's a familiar sight that has always brought a warmth to your heart, especially that of small children running to their mothers or fathers with grabby hands. There are times where you imagine sending your own child to wobble excitedly towards Neteyam, spun through the air by the mighty warrior that you are lucky enough to call your mate. 
High in the trees, hidden by the walls of a family hut you hear the familiar voice of Lo’ak. A smile tugs at your lips, confident that Neteyam is sure to be with his brother. However, that excitement is dampened slightly when the responding voice is not your mate’s but Unip’s. 
“I just don’t know how long he thinks this can go on.” Unip sighs.
“Well you know how Neteyam is. He will find a way to succeed and if not, he will die trying.” Lo’ak snorts, but there is a hint of concern in his nonchalant tone. It’s a timber that makes you halt in your tracks and ears twitch to hear the conversation. 
“It’s only going to get worse, you know. Once he is Olo’eyktan, half a night’s rest will not be enough anymore. He already looks half dead.” 
There is a silence that follows, only filled by the sound of your own heart thumping. 
“You’re never going to convince him otherwise, bro.” Lo’ak responds, amused tone faltering greatly. 
Stepping forward, you curve yourself around a thick tree trunk in effort to discreetly get a better look at the pair. Lo’ak’s back is facing towards you but even from this low vantage point, the lines of his tense muscle are easy to spot. Your golden eyes have become specialized for seeing in the dark after all these years, allowing a better image of his form and mannerisms. You are used to reading people’s expressions and body language with only the dim glow of eclipse. 
“Stubborn skxawng.” Unip shakes his head before leaning against the sturdy trunk. His scowl is illuminated by the soft red glow of a patch of sprouting flowers. The sight makes your stomach twist. 
Have things truly gotten this bad?
“Neteyam won’t leave her. You and I both know that. All that can be done is make peace with it.” Lo’ak shrugs his shoulders.
“And watch him turn into an old man in a few years. Those bags are sure to be bad for his pretty boy appearance.” Unip quips back, causing both the males to break out into laughter. 
The tension visibly eases between them but you are not laughing. In fact, you can feel the beginning of those twisting nerves pushing bile up your throat. All joyful anticipation has washed from your features, replaced with dread and horror. 
Your feet drum against the forest floor, stuck on autopilot and effectively taking you home. The beginning of streaming tears threaten to drop past your eyes. 
It’s true that Neteyam has been tired but it isn’t till now that you reply back your interactions and his recent appearance. Those dark circles aren’t as prevalent in the light of eclipse, perhaps they are more telling in daylight. Neteyam has a way of falling asleep in a matter of seconds once hitting the mat but you have always assumed that to be a part of his nature. Some people are naturally deep sleepers. 
However, now, all of these signs appear in a different light for you. Each conversation is played back in your head but of course Neteyam has never let his weaknesses show, especially ones that could be brought on by you. You know this and yet it is only now that you scold yourself for not being more perceptive, for not seeking advice and perspective from those around him.
His family and friends have an advantage that you can not achieve. Surely they would be the first to notice his changes in demeanor and health. They are the ones watching him work, train, and interact more closely with clan members. You have never been more envious of those walking in the sun in your entire life. This condition has always been a hassle for you but now it has turned into true heartache. 
This weakness that Eywa has given you is no longer just affecting you but now your perfect mate. This disease has spread to him in a way you scold yourself for not anticipating. 
How is he supposed to become Olo’eyktan, protecting and guiding the People all while being tethered to you? 
Eywa has destined your life to be forever restricted to the shadows, but that is not Neteyam’s path. 
You can spot the familiar dark canvases of your hut in the trees up ahead. No doubt Neteyam has already returned home at this point, if not then he will soon. Less than an hour earlier you were ecstatic to see him but now the thought of seeing those tired eyes makes you want to curl up into a ball. 
Needing more time to process, you opt to take a different route, one that leads to a secluded waterfall. Safe in the greenery and now sitting in the shallow area of the glowing water, you take a moment to breathe. Water trickles into a soothing pattern that has been associated with your memories in this found sanctuary. 
Truly, none of this should be a surprise. This ailment has been the driving course of your life thus far and you’ve grown used to it, letting go of certain aspects that are not meant for you. Neteyam is just another one of those. He is beyond your reach. Keeping him here would only hurt the clan. They need a leader that can be with them, present both physically and mentally. For the greater good it is time to let him become that Olo’eyktan. 
Perhaps you would have accepted this fact and stuck to it earlier on were it not for the great love you hold for him. Neteyam Sully holds your heart and soul effortlessly in his hands. There will never be another that lights up your life the same way he does and truth be told, you don’t want there to be. Forever your first and only love. 
Regardless, the time for being selfish is over.
Some Na’vi have the honor of dying a warrior’s death, going down in the name of protecting the People. Others sacrifice their time and energy serving the clan daily in the name of Eywa. You have been kept back from either of these duties so it makes sense that giving up the future Olo’eyktan would be your contribution. 
After all, how are you supposed to serve as Tsahik with your limitations?
This makes sense. Your brian tells you this is the logical solution. Life will go on. You will return back to a life that you have come to be content with over the years and Neteyam will find a proper mate that can serve The People by his side. 
Still, it is impossible to ignore the cracks that are slowly developing in your heart. It is difficult to imagine a life without your true love. The thought alone has a sob crawling up your throat. This sound however is morphed into a strange shriek when a pair of muscular arms suddenly grasp and pull you back against a hard chest.
The water splashes around the two of you and you can feel the rumble of Neteyam’s laughter as you are awkwardly shifted in his arms. 
“Baby girl, you are really off your game today.” He teases fondly before nuzzling his face into the curve of your neck. An efficient shuffle has you more familiarly settled between the corded muscle of his toned thighs. Instinctually you lean back against him. 
“What? Nothing to say in your defense?” 
“Oh yeah uh just tired.” You lamely respond. 
“Silly Tanhi, today has barely begun.”
For you. 
The day has barely begun for you and only you. Every other Na’vi enjoy the blissful alignment of the sun and their ‘days’. You are the outlier. 
Gathering up your courage you finally lift yourself onto your knees and turn to face him. Neteyam grins, but for once you aren’t focused on the gleams of those pearly teeth. Sure enough there are dark circles in a crescent shape beneath his eyes. You reach out to thumb at those dark contrasts. The alpha blissfully misreads this as cupping his cheek. He leans into the touch and his smile broadens. 
“My sweet sevin.” He mumbles. Your stomach tightens back into that knot. Finally, he seems to notice the shift in your demeanor. The smile falters and he places his hand over the one cupping his cheek. The large veined hand completely covers yours. 
“What’s wrong?” 
It seems an impossible task to go through with what you know must be done. A part of you considers holding off, letting it last a little longer before you lose him forever. However, that would only result in a more sleep deprived Omatikaya Prince and the suffering of future Olo’eyktan. 
The longer you take to respond the faster the amusement in those golden orbs declines. He calls your name softly and turns his head to gently peck your palm. 
“I just-” You steady yourself. The words feel like acid crawling up your throat and sitting pressed against him only makes it burn more. Cautiously you detach yourself completely and settle down on the colorful rocks lining the shallow river. 
Neteyam immediately stiffens. His tail curls up into high alert and his ears twitch back slightly, but still you can see the now fake smile plastered on his face. 
“You’re…tired.” It’s a weak start but they are the only words you can force out. 
There is a flicker of surprise in his features but it melts away into a mocking eye roll. The corners of his lips are back to being turned up in a more genuine manner. 
“Well of course I’m a little tired Tanhi. Every mighty warrior should be if he’s done his job right.” The alpha chuckles and you can almost taste the deviation of his pheromones. He confidently reaches out to take your hand in his. “But never too tired to spend time with my sweet little star.” 
The cool rush of water is a dramatic contrast to the warm grasp Neteyam has on your hand. It feels like fire that curls up your veins and pushes tears to the back of your eyes. It’s too painful to be close like this. To see him obliviously flirt and cuddle as if all is well when you know deep down that this will be the last time you feel his touch. 
“No, I mean exhausted. Ma Neteyam-” You shut your mouth tight. That phrase was so easily in your arsenal of vocabulary but it’s time to start training yourself to stop using it. You brush the circles under his eyes again. “You haven’t been getting enough sleep.”
Realization seems to dawn for him.
“Oh you mean my eyes. Lo’ak was teasing me earlier about it. Didn’t think it would bother you so much, sevin, but I’m sure my grandmother has some herbs to lighten the color.” He laughs lightly.
“No, Neteyam. This is bad for you. Staying up every night only to push yourself to the limit the next day. Living in that darkened hut. Spending every last fiber of energy you have spending time with me. Taking care of me-”
“That is what mates do, Tanhi. I don’t want it any other way-”
“I am bad for you!”
The words cut through the air and suddenly every remnant of the playful atmosphere has disappeared. 
“Don’t say stuff like that, Tanhi.” His voice is firm, stern enough to be considered reprimanding. Neteyam eyes darken onto a duller glow. The musky scent of your mate shifts into that of a stronger presence. It’s moments like that that you remember how distinct his second gender is. 
“Neteyam, you know I’m right. This condition is no longer just hurting me but you too. Playing this game of back and forth makes no sense.” 
He sits up straight, back stiff as a rod. It takes everything in you to hold that gaze without bursting into tears and backing down. The flicker of his tail has turned into frantic swatting as his lips curl downwards. 
“What are you trying to say, love?”
You gulp and prepare yourself to utter words that weigh heavy in your heart. 
“We have to end this.” 
Silence drags on. The rush of running water and purring wildlife is the only thing that fills the air. Your tail swishes nervously in the water, causing a slight splash. No matter which way you squint or tilt your head, Neteyam’s expression is unreadable. Even your enhanced night vision is not enough to fully understand or anticipate the brewing emotions beneath those golden eyes. 
“No.”
Your mind sputters to a halt at the snipped response. He’s giving you nothing to work with. 
“Neteya-”
“Where is all of this coming from, yawne?” He reaches forward to cup your cheek but you stand up before he can. This close proximity is becoming too much. Perhaps it’s cowardly, but you need a reprieve from his love-filled gaze and tender touches. Otherwise, there is no way you will be able to do what needs to be done. You wonder if he knows this as you are met with a toned chest at eye level blocking your path. 
“Did something happen?”
“No.”
“Then why are you so worried all of a sudden?” He pleads for an answer but you have finally managed to slip past him and wade out of the water. The drum of your feet rings in your ears, taking you to Eywa knows where. Neteyam is hot on your heels. 
“It’s not just worry, it’s logic, Neteyam. Can’t you see? You are going to be Olo’eyktan. The People need a leader that won’t be tied to some nocturnal Na’vi that drains the last bit of energy you have left.”
The alpha goes to interject but the words are flying out of your mouth at such a speed at this rate, he has no opportunity. 
“They will need a Tsahik that can do more than just work a night shift. Not to mention one that actually understand healing protocal-”
“My grandmother has already offered to teach you.” He counters, stomping feet practically nipping at your heels. It’s not that you mean to walk away from him, but the dam that holds your suffocating emotions at bay is starting to crack and crumble. One look at him could weaken your resolve. This has to be done fast, ripped off like an adhesive bandage. 
“You deserve to be with someone that can lead The People with you. A mate that can serve both you and the clan in a way I never can. An omega that is a proper mate.”
A strong hand clamps around your bicep and spins you around. Neteyam glowers down at you with an intensity that is borderline desperate. The tears are starting to leave a glaze over your eyes, even as you avoid his own at any cost.
“You are my mate. You are the woman that I choose to spend the rest of my days with.” He tries to gently tilt your face towards him by grabbing your chin, but you flick it off. “We are mated before Eywa.” The crack in his voice tears at your heart. 
“I shouldn’t have let it go on this long, I’m sorry. I foolishly let myself believe that you and I are meant to be but now it is clear that my head was simply in the clouds.” A sob thickens your voice until it is barely tangible. Words are failing you and you idly wonder how many more you will truly be able to manage in this state. 
You attempt to flee from his embrace once more, just a moment to escape that heartbreaking stare that follows your every move. Neteyam holds you gently by the biceps but there is enough force there to keep you in place. 
“We are, Tahni. All these other obstacles are just that, obstacles. Things we can overcome.” He slumps down, determined to finally have your eyes meet his. The curtain of your flowing hair is a weak shield against these efforts. You can feel the heat of his escalating breath tickle at your cheeks. He swoops in closer slowly, with the caution of closing in on a skittish prey. “It’s just you and me, little star.”
The flat of his nose finally rests against yours, lips only a sudden movement away.
There are promises of familiar comfort and happiness in this intimate position. Your nature keens towards his gentle touch. It prompts you to hide away every other concern, worried that it could break this moment of tranquility. 
However, that is exactly what you do.
“You have to break it.” 
There is a pause, a moment of shock that you take advantage of. Slipping out his hold, you watch realization slink across his features. It’s blood chilling, the look of horror that is clearly evident upon his handsome face. It’s a rare thing to render Neteyam speechless. He has grown up learning how to lead and command a room with confidence and grace. Seeing him now, mouth agape as his thoughts lag, it’s easier to see that there is simply a normal man behind the mighty warrior. 
A male that you have managed to strip away the light in his eyes, all evidence of excitement lost. 
It is now that you can truly see the aching restlessness and lost nights of sleep in his demeanor. He wilts before you. 
“You don’t mean that.” He insists, voice now hollow of its usual domineering confidence. 
“I do.” The timber of your voice shivers and shakes, doing nothing to strengthen your resolve. Still, the lost look that Neteyam sends you absolutely wrenches at your heart. “It’s what’s best for everyone.”
Words that are meant to reassure him at least slightly only make his tail halt movement, obvious that the phrase only digs the dagger deeper into his chest. 
“Everyone?” He whispers, hairless eyebrows drawing together. Hesitant steps lead you backwards, eager to begin your journey away from this tornado of darkened emotions. Away from the raincloud you have created between the two of you. “You…this is what you want?”
Want.
That small word is a palpable distinction. To change this argument from what needs to be done to the inner workings of your desires and dreams. To veer it towards the ever flowing river of devotion and love you know will always be in your heart for him. It’s the one move that leaves you completely defenseless.
This is the last thing that you want. 
He has to know that. He must know that. And perhaps that is why he faces you with this question head on, forcing you to say the words out loud. It’s a towering wall that you have no hopes of climbing. Lying is not your strong suit. Neteyam knows that. 
“Please Neteyam.” You send your final plea before turning on your heel and bolting. Vanishing into the trees before he has a second to form one syllable.
Lying isn’t your strength, but hiding is something you are familiar with. 
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“She’ll probably cool down.” Lo’ak reassures him, handing a leaf with larvae to Neteyam. 
“What did I do wrong?” Neteyam wonders out loud. It’s difficult for Lo’ak to tell whether or not that question is rhetorical. The eldest Sully’s eyes are focused on the horizon, he’s lost. Off somewhere else. 
“Nothing, bro! Not everything is that simple.” 
Out of the corner of his eye, Neteyam sees the wooden cup of strong drink pushed toward him but he declines. Drinking is the last thing he needs right now, although it is tempting. These past two days have been pure torture and sorrow. Washing every clouding thought away with the swig of fermented fruit would surely keep his mind off of you for a while, but it would never stop the permanent ache in his chest. 
Although Neteyam knows he must look awful because even his father encourages him to drink, despite the duties he is set to carry out the next day. Most nights he is advised to keep his wits about him, but Jake has let up since the event. 
“There has to be something I could’ve said. Perhaps something I can say now.” 
“Bro, you’ve already said more than enough. If your constant notes and begging haven’t got her to let you into the hut, I don’t think words are the problem here.” A grimace is etched into Lo’ak’s features but Neteyam turns away from the sight. He can’t handle the look of pity that his family seems to constantly be shooting him. 
He looks miserable. He is miserable. Every Na’vi with eyes can see that much. However, he doesn’t want sympathy. He needs solutions. A plan that will set things right again. Anything to bring his littler start back into his arms. 
“Ma Teyam,” Neteyiri gently coos, haunching forward to tuck on the tangled braids behind his ear. “Perhaps it is time to give her some space.” 
Usually his mother’s presence has the power to soothe away the worst of his worries, but today all he can do is sigh at her words. Sitting in problems has never been his strong suit. Neteyam is used to problem solving. Coming up with a strategy and executing it until the issue is nothing but a distant memory. He prays to Eywa that this too will become just that. Something that can be laughed at down the road.
However, sitting here now surrounded by people and never feeling more lonely, it’s hard to imagine ever laughing at such a thing. 
Neteyam continues to pick at the grass next to the untouched meal. The sun has been down for over an hour now. Dinner is wrapping up and there is still no sight of you…again. Every crunch of a leaf or flitter of voices has him turning to search for your small frame in the darkness. It’s an effort that leaves him empty handed every time but, no matter the frequency of failure he can’t stop himself from whipping his head around anyway. 
“You know, there was a time that I was upset with your father. Livid, actually. And yet here we are today.” Neytiri almost purrs, trying to comfort her son.
“Yeah and did he wait around and give you space?” The words come out harsher than intended but Neytiri doesn’t tell him off like usual. Instead her ears pin back and she runs a thumb across his cheek. Jake and Neytiri lock eyes from across the fire, a silent communication that has Jake clearing his throat. 
“I’m not sure if I’m the prime example in this scenario, kid.” A deep chuckle accentuates Jake’s words. He goes to close his mouth and leave it at that but his mate sends him one fierce look that lets him know he is far from done comforting their eldest. “I mean uh truth be told, I was an absolute knucklehead before I met your mother.”
“Still are.” She corrects him. 
Jake doesn’t try to fight against the claim, but he does nervously clasp the back of his neck, searching for the right words to say. 
“Tanhi still hasn’t eaten. Must go.” Neteyam abruptly calls, on his feet within a heartbeat. He gently cradles his untouched meal in the palm of his hand as he navigates his way out of the circle of his family. Neytiri sighs and Jake sends her an apologetic look as they watch their son slither off into the night once again. 
Even Tuk sends sad eyes in the direction of her older brother as he walks away. 
Upon reaching the dark curtains of your hut, Neteyam is unsure whether or not you still reside inside. There is no sign of light emanating inwards. For a moment he is convinced that you have slipped out during his absence, but then there is a ruffle of covers that his ears manage to pick up. Stalking forward carefully, he leans in to pick up on every sound possible. 
Even with his alpha hearing, there is little to no noise coming from the hut. Or at least no sound that is useful to him in any way. He wonders what you are up to within those darkened walls. His hindbrain urges him to go inside and find out for himself, cradle you in his arms till there are promises of never leaving again. However, he knows better than that. 
Neteyam waits to be invited in. 
“Tanhi?” The sound echoes through the night air, but no response comes. With a sigh he kneels down by the entrance, cautiously pushing the leaf underneath the thick rim of fabric.
“You missed dinner again.” Neteyam knows he shouldn’t expect a response at this point, but his tail still naturally droops to the floor when one doesn’t come. “I brought some for you.” 
He waits once more, but silence hangs heavy in the air. Neteyam’s ears twitch to focus in on the minute sounds again. The shallow breathing is confirmation enough of your presence. A part of him almost wishes that he is talking to a blank piece of fabric. If you had left then he could have at least spent that anxious energy scouring the forest for your slim frame. If you had left it would give him hope that you’ve hunted, eaten, gone on a walk. Anything that isn’t sitting in your hut. 
“Do me a favor, baby. Please eat something. Maybe you have been when I’m not breathing down your neck,” He gives a humorless laugh. “But…I just want to make sure you’re healthy. I’m starting to get worried.”
When the silence continues he doesn’t leave immediately. The weight of the stress and heartache is tangible. He can feel it in his bones. He can sense it when in the lag of his maneuvers and movements during flight in his training. Truth be told, Neteyam is sure that it’s visible to others, shining through in his trudging walk to and fro. 
Sitting here in the grass, the same place he had spent that first night you started icing him out, he can feel the weight of sleep pulling him downwards. The muscles of his body scream in protest at every movement. Physically his body is ready to give way, but his hindbrain weaves together signs of distress all night long. 
His instincts yearn to be close to you again, close to his mate who he shares a special connection with that nothing can replace. At times it is painful, that bond between the two of you. Neteyam remembers many days where that connection has been physically fortified by your time together, binding tighter with every brush of his fingers along your skin. However, he did not anticipate the effects of the opposite reaction. 
Going to sleep alone and cold, leaves a heavy weight on his chest. At times it feels almost suffocating. Sleeping outside of your hut doesn’t erase these pains, but it does dull them slightly. He wonders if you’ve ever stepped over him during his slumber. Actively trying to or not, his senses remain on high alert throughout the night. He can wake at the drop of a leaf, false hope that it may be your small form finally stepping past those heavy curtains. 
“Neteyam.” His head whips around at the voice, but it isn’t your honey timber that flits through his ears. Instead it comes from behind him, where Kiri stands with her hands woven together in front of her. 
“What’s wrong?” 
Not bothering to answer, she instead motions for him to follow her. He glances back at the entrance of your hut, but one look at Kiri’s down turned lips has him groggily shifting back onto his feet. She doesn’t speak till the two of them are out of ear shot. 
“Mom and Dad sent you?” Neteyam guesses, tail already drooping between his legs. It bothers him that his parents are rushing to bandage things up, treating him like a child. Advice is appreciated at the best of times, but this is his life. He is an adult, and has been for years now. The rift that has been fortified between you two is his problem to solve and therefore his choice on how to fix it. 
“No, just thought I would save you from making a fool of yourself.”  She continues to effortlessly lead him away from the hut. 
“I’m just dropping some food off.”
“I know.” There is no hint of mocking or disbelief in her tone. She simply grabs his hand gently and guides him back along the path home. Neteyam braces himself for a spew of advice but it never comes. Kiri to his surprise is silent, no hint of tension lingering between them. Still, he knows what message is being conveyed. No matter how much it hurts, he can’t continue to barricade your front door. 
It’s moments like these that Neteyam comes to truly admire how much his younger sister has grown up. She prances through the forest with a humble confidence. Each step taken with the certainty of belonging. Kiri no longer needs others to tell her who she is. Similarly she feels no need to press her opinions on her older brother. She waits patiently. As if she knows that he will come to her when the time is right.
It is a quality he looks upon with great fondness and gratitude. 
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Life has thrown you more obstacles than you care to count. This condition has been a stumbling block your entire life, but you refuse to let it keep you from the finishing line. You consider yourself a persevering person, one that is not easily taken down. When things get difficult you have always been taught to gather your bearings and get to work. Some sacrifices are painful but meant to be left behind if they are keeping you from fulfilling a happy and purposeful life. 
So for the first few days, you try to get back into your normal routine. The first night was spent weaving baskets together through the blurred vision of your tears. The basket came out looking like it had been mauled by a Palulukan. Regardless you continued to attempt getting back into your old routine, however those were usually filled with night hunts, an activity you were terrified of seeing Neteyam at. So you declined. 
However, truth be told, it only takes twenty four hours to realize that this heartbreak is intruding upon everything you do. You open your eyes as sunset turns to Eclipse and the first thing that surfaces is the dread at needing to go to communal dinner. So, you push dinner off. Neteyam is persistent in bringing you a plate each night, usually saying a few apologies and begging once again for you to come out. 
Your lips are raw and sore from biting into them in order to keep sobs at bay every time he comes to visit. Those first few nights he spent laying outside your hut was an awful mixture of longing and agony. His potent essence was easily carried through the night wind, constantly bringing it to your senses. You had twisted in the thin blankets on your hammock to stop yourself from going out there and cuddling next to him. 
On the third night, he doesn’t stay. 
You expect to feel relieved when he silently sets the serving of food down and leaves.
And yet, there is a part of you that longs for the draw of his smooth voice, no matter how distraught and rough it has become over the past few days. A part of you seems to also intrinsically sense his presence, even in the midst of slumber. Now that he spends his nights away from your hut, the emotional turmoil has become too much to handle.  
Simple tasks pose as daunting accomplishments, ones that already feel like impending defeat. So, you slowly start losing those habits too. Your eyes run out of tears to shed so instead you spend more than a reasonable amount of time pondering on your life. You consider what it is that brought you to these circumstances, questioning whether or not you were the one to blame for this heartbreak. Perhaps, you were the one easily swayed into promises of fairy tales. 
Before you know it a whole week has passed and you haven’t stepped foot outside. Recognizing this fact makes you feel pathetic and helpless, something that you don’t take a liking to. So, with red rimmed eyes and a congested nose, you take up a new purpose. Wielding together weapons from the materials in your hut. 
Although they’re nothing to gawk at, the finished results are enough to convince yourself that you are contributing to the welfare of the clan. The steps are repetitive and allow your thoughts to wander while doing so. By the second week you have donated a fair amount to the hunting parties without having to leave your home, thanks to the kindness of your mother. 
Your parents drop in frequently, but it’s obvious that they too find these visits painful. It’s an emotional ball and chain to see you wither away into something different. Visits that used to be full of vibrant laughter and storytelling now consist mostly of their own updates and pleas for you to come outside. Each time you assure them that you will…soon. 
It’s not a lie, at least not to you. 
Despite the physical ache of your heart every time you think of Neteyam’s smiling face and the bond that is now nothing but dust between you, there is still hope in your heart. A hope that someday you will recover from these lovesick feelings and finally be able to look upon the Omatikaya prince as any other clan member would. Purpose will return to your everyday tasks and Neteyam will only reside in your mind as Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya. 
Still, you would be naive to ignore the weighted awareness of his presence that consumes you every time he comes to drop meals off. You can sense him before his footsteps are even audible. Occasionally, he will say a few encouraging words or promises of solution but some nights he simply places the food there and stares at it sadly before disappearing once more. Both instances strangle your heart in their grasp. 
You thought that his scent would lessen once the bond was broken, but you figure it is alpha status to thank for always sending his essence of fresh pine through your hut at each visit. In some ways it feels like the only full breaths you took. The woven walls still allow air in, but only breezes warped with his scent remind you of being outside. 
It’s on the two week mark that there is a shift in the miserable routine. No meal is brought to the entryway. Hours go by and Neteyam never comes by. You’ve been living off of those nightly meals and while one meal is not hardly enough to maintain a status of full health, its loss is even worse. At first, it appears that Neteyam has given up. He is tired of chasing after you and rightfully so you suppose. This is meant to be a step in the right direction, but you cry yourself to sleep that night. Apparently, your body had an extra storage of tears after all. 
However, when it happens again, your theories start to change. A small slice of fruit is left outside on a leaf by the curtains in place of a meal. It’s delicious with juice squirting along your tongue in a dramatic symphony of taste. It’s the type of experience that leaves one wanting for more. Initially you are disappointed when the small piece is gone, but you remember where this food comes from. It would only take a five minute walk to approach the communal fire and snatch some away for yourself. 
Only moments away from dipping outside that entry way for the first time in two weeks, you have another thought. 
Neteyam only put one piece.
Would it not have been easier to leave a whole fruit rather than take the time to cut and separate one morsel of it onto a leaf as an offering.
It wasn’t an offering, it was an enticement. 
You stay behind, trying to forget the sweet tang of the dessert. 
Sure enough the suspicion is correct when the next night one piece of wrapped chocolate is left outside with a note.
Found this during the raid this week. There’s a whole bag left sitting in my hut. Let me know if you want some more.
-Neteyam 
The chocolate is a tiny ball wrapped in a red textured material that is unfamiliar to Pandora. Chocolate is something you never knew of before Neteyam. However, now it has become one of your all time favorite delicacies, especially with the rarity of its availability. Neteyam took a great liking to showing you around the outpost and the stocked treasures they were stealing from the old Hell’s Gate post and the new trains they were constantly raiding. He would explain the random customs and stories of Sky People that he hears from his father while carefully unwrapping the delicious pieces for you. 
Some days you would even have him read some of the English text, whether from the wrappers or other books that are kept around the outpost for the human scientists to enjoy at their leisure. You never understand a word of what he says, but the sounds are fascinating to hear in Neteyam’s familiar timber. Although the Mother Tongue of the Sky Demons, you’ve always been fascinated by Neteyam’s ability to speak it. Something very distinctly attractive about his extra abilities. 
You sigh and thumb at the round ball of chocolate. It melts on your tongue, creating an explosion of sweet smooth sensations. Leave it to Neteyam to try and lure you out through your love of chocolate. That night you flatten out the wrapper, running your thumb over the English text that appears as nothing more than scribbles to you. It serves as a painful reminder of the golden memories the two of you have shared. 
It remains clamped in your fist the entire day.
Heavy eyelids blinking open slowly, you can still feel the strange texture of that wrapper between your fingers. Contrary to your lack of activity, your body feels sore. Every muscle seems to be wound the wrong way and the air in your hut feels moist and stuffy. Stretching out, your foot hits the food supplies basket you keep and knocks it over. You stumble to put the object away, or rather you try to before you realize that it’s empty.
The last of your supplies is gone. 
Regardless of your feelings and fears, you need to go outside today. It’s time to face the music. 
Your toes curl and feet flex before carefully shifting to stand. Pushing aside clusters of baskets and tools you finally breach the front entryway of your hut. Expecting the air to have cooled down by now, your skin prickles strangely at the feeling of heat against your back. You rush to throw off whatever blanket or item of clothing that must have stuck to you but then your eyes are blinded. Sheer light invades your vision, drenching every sight in white. 
Stumbling across the forest floor, it truly takes you more than a moment to understand what is happening. The harsh light, the foreign heat. This is sunlight.
A pure beam of sunlight that has not disappeared behind the moon yet. 
Your delayed reaction finally allows you to search for the entryway and try to scramble towards safety but it’s impossible to see with the brightness of the world turned up to one hundred. Your eyes can’t manage to stay open for more than a second, each time feeling a burning sensation that is unbearable. Soon, though, it seems to be too late as your limbs grow heavy and your skin heats uncomfortably. Even when that last ray of sunshine disappears, your body continues to torment you with a rising heat.
The sensations become too much. The weight of your own head drags you down. The world spins around you in disorienting directions. Only a glimpse of blue skin is caught before you collapse into someone’s arms and the world turns blissfully black again. 
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“Move before I kick you out.” Mo’at warns, but her tone holds a morsel of sympathy despite the strict instruction. 
You are laid out along the mat of her healer’s tent with half the Sully family gathered around. Neteyam can hardly keep his hands off of you, constantly checking to see if you have cooled down yet. Each time renders him disappointed, ears folding back against his head. Mo’at is quickly losing patience as she is constantly swatting the boy away in order to apply the series of healing balms. 
“She’s burning up.” He protests, but finally moves out of her way. His idle hands find a new place along his knees where the blunt nails dig into his skin. Kiri and Tuk surround their brother but are careful to not impede too much on his space. His panicked dread rolls off of him in waves, a palpable tension that can be felt by everyone in the tent. 
“How long was she exposed?” 
“I don’t know. Can’t be more than a few minutes maybe. She was hardly past the entrance when I found her…I….is she going to be ok?” His voice cracks as tears finally well up over his golden orbs. Tuk places her small hand on his shoulder. 
“Only the Great Mother knows that.” She pauses, looking up to see her grandson’s crumbling composure. “She is hot. Her temperature needs to drop significantly.” 
The message doesn’t seem to settle on Neteyam. His gaze continues to focus on your unconscious face.
“Neteyam.” His head finally snaps up at his grandmother’s stern voice. “Go fetch me cold water from the river.” A basin is handed to the alpha but she can already tell there is reluctance in his expression. 
“Now.” It’s harsher than Mo’at would like to be but she knows that getting the concerned alpha outside of the tent is essential for her to complete the healing rituals. His presence is a distraction that has her own emotions tugging her away from the work at hand. 
Neteyam purses his lips and sends one last glance towards you. He cradles your cheek and leans down to softly press a kiss to your forehead, whispering promises to return. Then finally, he rushes out of the tent, driven by the given task. 
The hours rush and drag simultaneously for Neteyam. It becomes difficult to believe that it has already been a full twenty four hours and yet every minute that your eyes are not open feels like a year to him. Jake recruits Norm and some of the other scientists to take a look at you in the outpost. Moat is naturally displeased by the change at first but even she can’t deny that the old metal portable is a safer place for you to hide from the sun. Thick blankets and rugs are hung over the windows to keep the rays of sunshine out. 
Between the expertise of the scientists with their modern technology and the healing powers of Tsahik, things begin to look grim when there is little to no change in your state. Neteyam becomes increasingly more tense with every passing hour that yields no result. At some point his family stops trying to convince him to take breaks. Tuk takes it upon herself to gather and deliver a good serving from the communal fire for her older brother at every meal. 
Kiri is constantly teetering between helping her grandmother wrap cooling salves of thick leaves on your skin and foraging through the forest for different materials that could be used to create various healing ointments. 
Lo’ak tries to provide his brother with some pleasant company. If not that, then at least an annoying younger brother that can keep his mind off the matter for a few minutes. He tells jokes and shares random stories, usually featuring young alphas and the things their idiotic pride leads them to do. He has a plethora of these events saved up, having been training the new batch of future warriors almost daily. Those stories shift to other couples’ drama and fights when Neteyam laments over the past few weeks, assuring his brother that rough patches are normal in relationships and that perhaps he is not the worst skxawng to be found in the forest. 
Jake and Neytiri watch the scene with sorrowful eyes, discussing in the privacy of their home what needs to be done for their son and you. 
At hour thirty six, you begin to squirm. Every muscle seems to creek with each movement, seemingly as rusty and worn as the door to the outpost that takes an extra shove to open. It’s the burning heat that you notice next. It seems to travel along your veins and cover you in a suffocating cloud. It brings on feelings of almost claustrophobic symptoms. 
Finally, the flutter of your lashes reveal your golden eyes to the synthetic lighting of the outpost makeshift hospital wing. Only one electric light is turned on down the hallway. The rest of the ambience comes from lit candles scattering the surfaces around you. Their flicker is soft and soothing, but it’s the familiar scent of timber and pine that has your muscles finally relaxing. 
The surface beneath your head is cool to the touch, you rub your cheek against it. 
“Tanhi.”
That soft makeshift pillow is his thigh. Your already burning cheeks seem to reach new levels of inflamed rose color as you drowsily look up at him.
“You’re awake.” His voice is thick with emotion, almost choking the sounds from his throat. On its own volition your hand shakily reaches up to swipe away the tear traveling down his cheek. His skin is cool to the touch, such a different contrast to the usual warmth that you remember radiating off of him in your nights together. Your thin arm shakes from the strain of holding it upwards, he grabs your wrist gently and reluctantly helps you lower it back to your side. 
“Yes.” The sound comes out more hoarse and gravelly than you anticipated. You clear your throat before continuing. “How long have I been out?” 
“Over a day.”
A few moments of sunlight and suddenly a day and a half has been taken from you. It’s a lot to process, especially with the hazy pounding assaulting your head with every moment. The usual strength and energy in your body seems to have greatly dissipated, leaving you feeling as nothing but a shell of your normal self. Your attempt at sitting up is not only hindered by the strain of your abs but also cut short by Neteyam’s large hands gently pushing you back down. 
“No no Tanhi, just rest. Don’t strain yourself.” It’s too easy to settle your head back onto his welcoming lap. A small voice at the back of your head warns you of reversing all the progress that has been made, but it seems insignificant when Neteyam begins to tenderly brush his fingers through your hair. Nothing can take away the ache of your body and heat of your blood boiling but his touch does finally stir your heartbeat into a steady rhythm. It’s as if a weight is lifted off of you as your senses become filled with his essence. Every point of contact between you is like fire and ice. He is the ice that you welcome greatly, the only thing that seems to relieve the burning along your skin. 
“I’m sorry.” You whisper, eyes almost closed once more. 
“Whatever for, love?”
“I don’t mean to trouble you. I should’ve been more diligent, tracking the sun’s cycle..” Your lungs seize into a painful invisible grip, forcing a coughing fit to begin. Neteyam is quick to shush your sentence away and help you get some cool water down. His large hand rests over the heat of your forehead. The eldest Sully frowns down at you, no doubt still feeling the evidence of your raging fever. 
“Hush, Tanhi. There’s no place I would rather be right now.” 
You watch the shadows dance across lines of his collarbones and sharp features as he prepares another cool wrap to lay across your forehead. The grip you have on conscious thought is weak, but even at your mental peak you are sure that there is nothing more beautiful than the man above you. His harsh and sharp features that frame those kind and insightful eyes. He has an ethereal beauty that has always captured you. 
 “You’re going to be ok.” It’s unclear whether or not the sentiment is meant for you or rather himself. His hairless brows pinch into those familiar clenched lines. You recognize them from days he would come home to, the evidence of his still racing thoughts clearly etched into his features. 
Through the constant ache of your body and heat that tries to lure you to sleep, it takes you a moment to recognize the pheromones drifting off of him. You’re surprised to find that you can still identify the shift of emotions through his essence. Supposedly your sense of smell is better than you thought for a beta. The curling sadness and anxiety that comes off of him in waves, however, is something you wish could not be so easily detected. It is foreign and strange when mixed with his calming perfume. Neteyam isn’t usually one easily frazzled. 
Neteyam settles a clear plastic over your mouth and it takes a moment before you recognize it as the Avatar oxygen masks. The air filtered through it is clearer and more readily accepted by your lungs. After a few breaths you nod at him and he pulls it away again. 
Silence ensues. You yearn to break it with some semblance of an apology or explanation, but the words never come. Your body has other ideas as it drifts in and out of consciousness. Several times you wake to see another member of the Sully family perched next to Neteyam. However, the oldest Sully child never leaves. The hold you have on time becomes almost nonexistent as you slip back and forth between reality and fever induced dreams.
 Eventually you begin to wake periodically in Neteyam’s arms, head laying on his chest or coddled in his lap. Each time you consider saying something, knowing that he is no longer your mate. You have no claim on him and therefore no right to use him in this way, but his skin is cool and calms the sizzling heat upon your own. The very idea of creating distance between you two causes a spike of anxiety to take hold. 
It would be all too easy to blame this on your fever and the aid he provides, even in your state of watered down thought you know the truth. There is a yearning to be close to him again. To feel the gentle caresses that line your lips and cheeks as you sleep. To fall into a fantasy where the two of you never split, convincing yourself that today is simply a small sick day where your mate pampers you. The natural instincts of your beta nature furthermore aches for the calming presence of an alpha. Even the simple actions of his rising and falling chest that contains a steady heartbeat lulles your nature into a submissive calm. 
It is such a dramatic contrast to the empty abyss that has replaced your heart over the past few weeks. Falling into Neteyam feels natural, as expected as the waves that crash against the shore. It’s an ironic feeling to have considering the most inconvenient and problematic characteristics of your relationship. He was never meant to be yours. 
You chant those words in your head, willing them to echo true. 
This time, your eyes flutter lazily open to the feeling of his slim tail wrapping itself around your upper thigh. With creaky drowsiness you look up to find him fast asleep, lips parted softly with shallow breaths escaping soundlessly. Sprawled across him, head on his chest, this position resembles that of your usual sleeping position together. Or at least, what it used to be. Before the first cracks of dawn you would slip back into the tent and gently fall into his dozing embrace. It was not uncommon to find his tail slink around one of your limbs possessively all while never stirring from his unconscious state. 
Looking around the dingy outpost, it’s just the two of you. The plastic material of the mask around your neck feels uncomfortable around your heated skin. You find a matching one around Neteyam’s own throat. Although showing no signs of struggling breathing, you gently place it against his lips. When the clear oxygen filtered through his lips, Neteyam stirs.
You contemplate faking sleep when his ears twitch and eyes slowly open, but they immediately land on you. 
“Yawne.” Neteyam groans, voice thick with sleep. The deep rumble of his morning voice always makes your stomach do somersaults. “How are you feeling, Tanhi?” 
His ears pin back when you veer away from his efforts to cup your cheek. 
“A bit better.” Your arms tremble as they push against Neteyam pectorals to try and sit up properly. Despite his gentle protests, you finally manage to remain upright for the first time in days. The room spins around you. It’s only by the grace of Neteyam’s hands supporting your back that you remain sitting. “What time is it?” 
It feels like night but then again the heavy blankets over the outpost windows would show no indication of broad daylight if present. 
“Middle of the night.” 
“Then I should go.” Your feet are barely planted on the ground before Neteyam is pulling you back into his arms. 
“You don’t really think I’m going to let you out there in this condition, do you?” His chest rumbles with a stern timber, but his hold is tender and gentle. You are tempted to roll your eyes at the protective behavior, but you’re worried that doing so would put the room back into orbit again. 
“You need rest.” 
“I can rest at home.” 
“Like hell you will.” Neteyam scoffs, using another phrase he so commonly picks up from his father. You can practically feel the protective growl that yearns to climb up his throat, but a sigh comes out in its place. “You’re shaking, Tanhi. Let me take care of you.” 
His knuckles graze your cheek delicately, sending a cool shiver along your shoulders. 
“I don’t think that is a good idea.” 
Neteyam’s hand stills before dropping heavily to his lap. The heated breath coming from his lips tickles at the back of your neck. Were it not for your already trembling form you are sure that his presence alone would erupt goosebumps and shivers along your body. The pressing weight of silence is dizzying, tempting you to lay back down. You can practically hear the cogs in his head turning at a rapid pace. 
“Please just hear me out for a moment.”
Turning around to face him takes more effort than you would like to admit. Seeing those sad golden eyes without melting takes even more. 
“Five minutes is all I ask.” You hesitate, biting your bottom lip. “And if by the end of it you are sick of hearing from me then I promise I will leave you alone. My grandmother will take over caring for you and I will…respect your wishes.” His words are strangled, that suffocating dread pulling his features into a deep frown. 
“Ok.” 
The shimmer of hope is barely visible in his shining eyes but it still wrenches your heart. 
“My entire life has been about being Olo’eyktan. I’ve watched my father lead the people since I could barely walk and since then I have always known that someday that would be me. I wake up every day and the first thought that comes to mind is what needs to be done in order to become the mighty leader that everyone expects me to be. For a long time I’ve thought that my path was already decided by Eywa. Find an omega suitable of being tsahik, settle down with her, and lead till my son can take over. I was ok with that, I’d accepted my fate.” Neteyam shifts to his knees, fingernails digging slightly into his own thighs. Apprehension spoils his scent, creating a new mixture you are unfamiliar with. It’s then that you realize you’ve never seen Neteyam nervous before. 
“Then I met you.” 
Your eyes dart to the laminate floor. 
“I…I’m usually a lot better with words.” He chuckles nervously while rubbing the back of his neck. “It occurred to me recently that I’ve been negligent in our relationship. I never truly explained why I chose you. Why you are the person I can’t live without. Perhaps if I had we wouldn’t be in this situation now.” 
“Neteyam it’s not-”
“Please let me finish, Tanhi.” 
You nod softly, careful to not increase the already blooming headache pounding at your skull. 
“I’ve never met anyone like you.” A weak snort transforms into a cough raking up your throat. “I don’t mean because of ailment, yawne.” He clarifies and you suddenly feel embarrassed for assuming so quickly. Neteyam pauses his little speech to reach behind and once again carefully bring a cup of water to your parched lips. Gratefully, you let the cool substance slink down your throat to soothe the scratchy ache. 
Once he seems to be sure that another fit is not about to come on, Neteyam continues. 
“You have this unyielding spirit, determined to forage through any storm. Eywa herself puts you in the shadows and you conquer the terrain. The air around you hums with a quiet confidence that is…” He searches for the right word. “Intoxicating.” 
A laugh escapes your lips and yet you feel nothing resembling humor. Your hairless eyebrows scrunch in disbelief. Neteyam shows no acknowledgment of your reaction as he instead puts the mask back against your mouth. 
“I’ve been drawn to you since that first night hunt. Surely, that isn’t a secret.” He laughs into his own mask that is raised to his lips. If only he knew how oblivious you were to his intentions those first few weeks. “You’re fiercely determined and independent yet hold a gentle empathy and kindness for those around you that I could only ever hope to imitate. And stubborn too.” Neteyam chuckles with a shake of his head. “Fucking stubborn enough to tell a dumb alpha like me off, consequences be damned.” 
Your lungs can only manage a simple huffed laugh, but the corners of your lips are already turning upwards subconsciously. 
“When I’m around you,” His eyes pierce through you. “I can finally bear that weighted pressure of expectations on my chest. You make it light.” Neteyam leans forward and tucks a stray strand of hair behind your upturned ear. “My little star.” 
Your cheeks are damp and it is only then that you realize tears drops have been escaping your eyes. Neteyam thumbs them away with tender care. 
“I’ve grown accustomed to sacrificing whatever it takes to become Olo’eyktan. I’ve written my life off as not my own. I’ve given everything I can and could in order to fulfill this role. You are the only thing that I can not sacrifice. And maybe that is selfish of me, but I also know that without you I’m simply a shell of the man I am with you.” 
“I could never be Olo’eyktan without you by my side.” 
“But how am I supposed to be beside you when I can’t even step a foot into the sun without falling apart at the seams?” 
“You truly think that I haven’t thought about that, yawne?” Neteyam’s lips quirk into an amused smile. “I guess now would be a good time to tell you that Lo’ak and I have been building a black out healers tent.” You gape at him. “I wanted it to be a surprise. I suppose I should’ve known better than to think I could pull one over on you.” 
It’s foolish, you tell yourself. Another darkened tent doesn’t solve all of the problems. It doesn’t erase the strain this relationship would have on Neteyam or allow you to operate during the daytime hours, unless you are content to remain in the tent for all of your days. And yet, there is a sliver of hope growing in your bosom. 
“Nete, I don’t know what to say.” His braids swing over the intense eyes that focus on your every move. He’s tense, ready to jump in at the notice of resistance. “But, I can’t live my life in a dark tent.” 
“Of course not. I’m talking about a compromise. Lo’ak, he takes over in the mornings while you and I start the day in the midafternoons. Tsahik duties in the tent for a few hours and then the rest of the night spent together. Leading together. Hunting together.” The dopey grin that spreads upon his lips is fiercely adamant in capturing your heart once more. It takes everything in you to not reach out and pinch the mighty warrior’s cheek. A notion Neteyam is known to reprimand with a playful glare. 
“You make it sound so simple.” It’s too much to meet his gaze. You prefer the view of the worn down tiles as you take another calming breath from the mask. The pace of your heart is evermore increasing and part of you wonders if this conversation has the ability to make you faint. 
A hand beneath your chin gently prods you to look back up again. He whispers your name, soft but clear in the quiet outpost.
“We have a choice.”
The words weigh heavy in the air, drawing your ears to perk forward in anticipation. 
“I know that may sound like a lie to you. However, if there is anyone that understands their life being determined from birth, it’s you. You and I have been pushed and kept into our respective boxes, taught to dream of only the realistic paths ahead of us.”
You wish to say it’s untrue, but any other reality has been stripped away from you from your first breath and morphed into only that of fairy tales. 
“We get to choose whether or not we believe that. I’ve accepted my destiny, Tanhi, but I can not bring myself to see my journey walking besides anyone that’s not you. I’ve already chosen. You are what I will not sacrifice.” Neteyam’s calloused fingers weave into your hair, hands on the sides of your head. 
“It’s your turn, Tanhi. What do you choose?”
“Is that your definition of fumbling words?” Your chuckle is choked with tears. Neteyam’s short laughter joins your own, his lips already starting to spread into that smile you adore so much. 
The past few weeks have been a constant building of that fortress around your heart. You’ve tried to convince yourself over and over again that the two of you parting ways is for the best. These mantras have ripped your heart out and left you in a state of empty sadness, but they also have created a sturdy wall, one that is hard to crumble. Naturally, it is Neteyam that ever stands a chance at breaking through. Sweet Neteyam that knows you so thoroughly that he doesn’t require brute force to get through, he finds a hold from the inside, reading you like a book until there is nothing left for you to hide. 
This experience has been a draining uphill battle, but one that you have embarked on because you’ve been convinced that the right thing to do is often the hard thing. However, now, the story shifts. You are left wondering if perhaps this whole time, running away is not the hard thing at all. It’s staying that proves to be the most difficult battle to fight. It’s staying that requires your heart to be opened and at the mercy of failure and disappointment. Leaving Neteyam isn’t the noble cause you once thought it to be. 
It’s hiding. 
“You really have some nerve calling me stubborn.” You try to joke, but tears are already cascading down your cheeks at an alarming rate and you can tell Neteyam is seconds away from scooping you back into his lap. 
“Well I admit being stubborn has its reward sometimes.” He quirks an eyebrow at you. “Perhaps it’s paid off for me this time?” 
“Perhaps.” You smile coyly at him. It takes bracing a stabilizing hand against the floor to stop yourself from falling over when you lean forward but it’s worth the exhilarating feeling of his lips against yours once more. 
Neteyam is cautious and gentle, moving his lips softly in sync with yours, but you can feel the restraint it takes for him not to swallow you whole. However, you are still healing so Neteyam treats you the way you expect any alpha to: like a delicate flower. Your own tears wet the canvas of both of your cheeks and it takes a moment to realize that small droplets are falling from Neteyam’s eyes too.
The kiss is warm and tender. Relief washes through your body in a wave that makes you realize how much pain you truly were in. How even the very bones in your body finally lose their ache when Neteyam slips an arm around your back to bring you closer. 
You’re forced to break the kiss earlier than desired as Neteyam can feel the way your body lags to get air into its lungs. The soft pants that leave your lips are soon encased by the mask that the alpha slips over your mouth once more. The warmth of his gaze beaming down on you spreads across your chest and lights another fire along your skin. 
“Come home, Neteyam.” You whisper softly. His forehead leans against your own, those golden orbs still shimmering with unshed tears. 
“Always, Tanhi.” 
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The hours float by in a happily dazed dream afterwards. Neteyam’s touch starved state comes fully into the light as he is constantly keeping a point of contact between you two. It’s obvious that his alpha hindbrain has gone off the wall after being apart for so long and furthermore trying to care for you without going too far. Now that the green light has been given, Neteyam is constantly wrapping his body around your own smaller form till you are almost completely encapsulated by him. 
Truthfully, you have no objections. In fact, even your own instincts push you towards readily accepting and initiating any forms of affectionate touch. It further helps that Neteyam’s skin is cool to the touch in comparison to your own raging feverish skin. 
Within half a day your wellbeing has greatly increased after the constant nurturing of your overprotective alpha, who seems to be constantly slipping water, food, medicine, or mask given air past your lips. Mo’at is greatly pleased when your temperature begins to return back to its former state and there is a greater strength present in your body. Still, she instructs you to lay low for another day as a precaution. 
Neteyam is more than happy to keep you to himself for another day. Watching you come close to the brink of death has his primal urges dialed to eleven. You have to scold him every now and then when his younger brother comes to visit and Neteyam thanks him with an aggressive hiss and tucking you safely into his arms and away from the ‘threat’. 
It’s borderline shocking to see his strong reactions considering the severed bond between the two of you. That is, until you find the truth.
“I admit, it might’ve been selfish Tanhi but I couldn’t bring myself to cut our tie before knowing that I had tried everything possible to get you back.”
He had looked up at you with a guilty composure but after everything the two of you had been through you couldn’t hide your relief and joy in finding out that this bond had still survived the heartache. It also provides a greater explanation to your own body's willingness to melt into him with or without a resolution. Now, though, you are content to let him have his fun babying you for one day more and revill in the renewed connection the two of you share.  
This time when you awake in the newly hung hammock inside of the outpost (Neteyam had used every angle possible to convince the human scientists to let him temporarily take up the space) you’re surprised to find your mate’s skin hot against your own. His thumping heartbeat rickets in your eardrums but instead of rocking you to sleep, the sound sends shivers down your spine. 
Neteyam is blissfully unaware of your consciousness as your own heart starts to speed up. Shifting your leg, it’s a surprise to feel a sticky texture lining the inside of your loincloth. Blood rushes to your cheeks when you realize the source of this substance. Bashfully you’re relieved to see Neteyam is still asleep, allowing your arousal to remain a private humiliation. 
With the cautiousness of a sneaking Palulukan, you attempt rolling off of the hammock and out of his arms to take care of your little problem. It’s only halfway rolling over to your side when the Omatikaya prince shifts and spoons you from behind. All plans are immediately thwarted when his muscular thigh slips between your splayed legs innocently. However, the pressure it incidentally puts against your clit brings forth feelings that are anything but innocent. 
A veiny forearm easily clamps around your waist to pull you back against his chest. The act rubs his thighs against your clothed folds so suddenly, that it brings a whimpered moan from your lips. Breath hitched in your throat, you wait to see if Neteyam stirs. He shows no sign of waking so you try to scoot your heated core away from his thigh slyly. 
Not only are these efforts unrewarded but also bring a tinge of sadness coursing through you. It’s a strange wave of emotion that follows. Arousal quickly windles into full blown desperation within a few heartbeats. The sensations are overpowering, racing through every surface of your body until all that your mind can focus on is the need to be filled by a mate. 
Filled by Neteyam.
“Oh Great Mother.” You curse quietly. 
Your first heat.
A momentous milestone that your parents have talked to you in great lengths about yet still brings nothing to light on the reality of the experience. You’ve had smaller mini episodes of heat, normal in the beginning of adulthood for Na’vi betas, but it’s only a laughable comparison to the clawing desire taking over your body currently. As a beta you figured that your own heats would be miniscule compared to the laborious heats that plague omegas earlier in their years. 
Involuntarily rocking your clothed core against Neteyam’s thigh you now wonder how these Na’vi have ever survived such a demanding lust and lived to tell the tale. And that is what it feels like. Death if not satisfied. Pain if not satiated. 
Embarrassment is thrown out the window in favor of creating a pleasurable friction against your clit. Hardly ever having experienced touching yourself on the rare occasion, you have no idea what to do. The corded muscle of his relaxed thigh feels better than your usual small fingerings drumming against the bundle of nerves, so you continue to rock back in a desperate rhythm. 
The hammock starts to sway softly with your jutting hips. Some movements are rewarded with a spark of pleasure, only to then be absent on the next rock of your hips. Frustration is quick to brew as you can’t seem to find the right angle and pressure against your core. Shiny slick drenches through the thin fabric and onto the alpha’s thigh. It acts as a lubricant for your journey across his skin, allowing a faster pace to be adopted. 
Your pussy clenches around open air, beckoning for a worthy mate to finally fill and claim you properly. It’s an emptiness that you can only compare to the tingling you have experienced after especially long makeout sessions with Neteyam, but it’s worse. So much worse that it brings tears to your eyes. The only relief is found when a lucky thrust finally has the fabric pushed away from your core and lets your small clit peek out and press against his azure skin. 
Now without any barriers, pure ecstasy wracks through your body. It only amplifies when the muscles flex slightly beneath you, giving just the right amount of pressure against your clit. A knot forms and tightens in your stomach, quickly winding until it feels as if it’s about to snap. It feels almost dirty to realize that your slick has now coated the entirety of Neteyam’s thigh all while he is sleeping and yet it lures you further into a state of arousal than you have ever been before. 
Your own thighs clench harshly around Neteyam’s to trap it against your core. A release clear on the horizon, every effort is put into maintaining that delicious sensation of your clit being assaulted against the muscle. Legs shaking and small squeaks erupting from your throat you chase that feeling relentlessly. 
“Cum, Tanhi.” 
Neteyam’s raspy voice pushes you over the edge with a shocked gasp. His rumbling growl of satisfaction seems to pulse through you in sync with the overwhelming sensations of an orgasm. 
“Good girl.” He praises as your body trembles in the afterglow of release. Neteyam chuckles when a simple flex of his thighs has a whimper spilling your lips. Swirling patterns are drawn by the alpha’s fingers along your sides and arms. 
Mental clarity returns in a flash, allowing the reality of the situation to sink in. You hide your heated face against his arm underneath your head while groaning in humiliation. 
“Nete.” You whine.
“Hush, baby girl. It’s alright, no reason to get all shy on me now.” He coos while swiping your hair away from your cheek to finally have an unobscured view of your blushing face. “Especially not when you make such pretty noises.” 
The words crumble any wall of resistance against the impending heat. Your body yearns for another release, still screaming at you for not being filled with your alpha’s cock yet. A cock that you can feel hardening beneath Neteyam’s loincloth and poking at your lower back. 
“Neteyam, it really hurts.” 
“I know, Tahini, I know.” He soothes, softly kissing your temple while brushing the strands of hair away. “My poor little star. A bit stronger than you expected, hm?” 
When his thigh finally shifts away from your leaking pussy, despite the strength of your clamped legs, a noise of disappointment escapes you. 
“So much worse. Neteyam please!” It’s hard to say what you are begging for specifically, but the alpha is quick to calm your worries with sweet nothings. Your limbs kick out and try to wind around any of his, subconsciously finding ways  to trap his body closer to yours. 
“If you want help, all you have to do is say, yawne. I know how to take care of my girl.” He turns you by the chin to make direct eye contact with him, a silent second measure to make sure this is truly what you desire. Hesitating is far from your mind as you nod and whine out little pleas.
Satisfied with your consent Neteyam grins and begins to descend down your body. Confusion swirls in your eyes when he situates your legs over his shoulders. The sex talk from your parents may not have been that descriptive but you know enough to realize that his cock is nowhere near your drenched entrance. 
“How does that…” You trail off, head tilted to the side. 
“Just need to get your ready first, Tanhi. Want my baby girl to feel good.” Pointed teeth poke out beneath his lips in his open mouth grin. The pads of his fingers tenderly brush and tease along your outer thighs, slowly making their way to your inner. Tingles of anticipation and pleasure trickle up your body. It boggles you how such a light tracing heightens your lust to new levels. 
“How?” 
His face softens and Neteyam coos at you while tucking a strand behind your ear. 
“Just trust me, little star. I promise you’ll like it.” 
So you do, even when his face lowers to your partly clothed mound. Neteyam’s nose presses against your pussy and he sucks in air like a man on the brink of drowning. Your cheeks set aflame at having his face so close to your special place, something you had never considered before. The rumble of power in his hungry growl, however, washes away any insecurity that would plague your mind. 
“Smell so delicious, Tanhi.” He purrs.
Neteyam’s creates a path of wet kisses along your inner thighs. Careful grips on your knees allow him to maneuver your legs into whatever profane position he desires, easy access for his eager tongue and lips. His saliva and your slick become intermixed along the expanse of skin as he takes his time warming you up. Each time his lips come closer to your folds, you whimper needily. Heated lust entraps every thought you have, wondering how long it will be until the two of you finally become one. 
The first nips at your left inner thigh causes you to jump. His eyes look back up at you as the pointed tips of those canines teasingly scrape against your soft skin. 
“Just a little taste, yawne?” He asks, although the smirk along his lips suggests that it is less of a question and rather a warning. 
“A bite? T-there?” 
Neteyam chuckles at your clueless behavior. It’s been known among Na’vi to leave obvious hickeys and bites along one’s mate’s skin, but you’ve always assumed that to only be in places more visible and less…private. Your tail swishes anxiously as you think of those marks being so close to your heated entrance. 
“Yes, baby girl. A little mark to remember me by, hm?” 
A simple nod of your head is all the permission required for Neteyam to continue. He takes one last breath from the hanging mask before picking a spot on your inner thigh where the flesh is supple and tender, licking and kissing and the area in preparation. When his lips close around the plush skin and begin to suck, it sends tendrils of electricity straight to your core. Without even thinking you moan and grab at his hair. You’re stuck between the urge to push his head away and encourage him to suck harder. 
Once released, the skin is left with a pronounced purple mark. One lick is deposited on the spot before his teeth nip and tug at the skin. You squeal and arch your back dramatically, Neteyam moans darkly he has let it fall from between his teeth and begin to soothe the skin with kisses and licks. The entire act scratches a part of your brain that is primal, satisfied by the apparent claim he leaves for all to see. 
“Much better.” His tone drips with pride. “Thank you, Tanhi.” He kisses your knee in gratitude, as if you have given him some sacred gift, and perhaps for him that is true. 
It’s only now that it occurs to you how many times Neteyam has held back from staking his claim on you the way most alphas do. You vaguely remember the indented mark of his own teeth against his bottom lip that would draw blood, especially after you have shared an intimate moment or he saw another male eyeing you for too long. What you had originally shrugged off as a habit now transforms in your mind as an act of self control. 
Neteyam is quick but deliberate with his handy work of undoing the ties around your tail and hips. He slides the fabric away from your pelvis with an attitude of reverence. Cool air against your slick folds feels like a tickling touch that has your lust spiking dramatically. Burning eyes on your most sensitive area is like gasoline to the flames. 
You attempt to clench your thighs together to protect your dignity, but Neteyam hoists them apart and back on his shoulders sternly. 
“None of that, baby girl. Let me see how pretty you are.” 
And there’s something in that phrase and his undivided attention that makes your toes curl. It becomes blatantly obvious that if he doesn’t hurry up and get on with sticking his cock inside your pussy, you will fall apart at the seams before there is even a chance. 
“Neteyam, I’m ready. Please please I’m so ready.” You ramble, willing your legs apart to prepare easier access. Once he is inside everything will be better, although the thought of your virgin walls stretching around him causes a slight tinge of panic to break loose.
“Mawey, my love. It’s about to get good.” 
However, frustration and confusion bubble to the surface again when you see his face lowering back down. 
“No no, Nete. Enough kisses.” You whine. “I need you inside.”  
His brows push up at that, the corners of his lips perking slightly as if hesitant to fully grin.
“Are you sure, my love? We can still wait if you wa-”
“NO! No more waiting! I’m ready now. I need you right now.” 
He calls your name softly, but with a hint of unyielding sternness that lets you know it is important you listen. Even a beta can sense when the time to obey is present.
“You’re heat is a very powerful thing but also fleeting, Tanhi. I don’t want you to make such a big decision purely because of your primal instincts.” It’s a respectful and considerate gesture but your head is shaking before he is even close to finishing. If this man does not take you now, you’re ready to flip him over and sit on his member, inexperience be damned. 
“It’s not. I’ve been ready for weeks. W-was just waiting to tell you. Take me now, stick it in now.” The ringing in your ears, you realize is actually the accelerated blood thumping along the eardrums from your racing heart. It feels as if the speed will be enough to burst your ribcage open. “I’m ready.”
Neteyam watches as your eyes clench shut and hands scrape against the woven material of the hammock. You’re braced and ready for the pain that will ensue upon penetration. 
“Tahni,” Your eyes slowly peek open to see that the alpha hasn’t moved a muscle. “You love me, don’t you?” 
The question throws you off guard, but the answer comes easily.
“Of course.” 
“And you know that I love you?” 
“Yes Neteyam.” Your hips scoot against the fabric, pussy fluttering as it continues to wait for the incoming sensation. 
“And you trust me?” 
“Always, Nete.” 
The alpha hums happily at your response, muttering out a deep ‘good girl’. 
“Then I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing, baby girl. Trust that your alpha will take care of you.” He tenderly brushes his fingers over your soft stomach. “And trust me enough to say if or when something doesn’t feel good.” 
You nod hazily, keenly aware of the tickling sensation of his touch along your hips. 
“That’s my good girl. Now let me get you ready.”
It’s still confusing when you see his head lower towards your navel once more, but you don’t protest this time. He’s right, you do trust him and he does have far more experience with sex than you by far. Your upturned legs are spread even wider by his broad shoulders as he leans closer and lets the tips of his tongue drag over you from belly button to navel. The saliva line goes down further and further until…oh.
It takes his grip on your hips to keep them pressed against the hammock when his tongue brushes over your clit for the first time. It’s a pleasure that is completely foreign to you. Comparable to the spark of dopamine that comes from your small finger teasing the area and yet completely different in intensity. He draws sensual figure eights along the bundle of nerves several times before swooping down to collect more of your arousal between your folds. 
Neteyam is calculated with his exploring, performing in the way of someone who has crafted their art. When his tongue just barely swipes across your entrance your hands fly down to grasp his braids again. This time, however, the only thought on your mind is keeping him down there. His flat nose nudges at your clit with every swipe of his tongue along your pussy. 
“Oh my Eywa!” You screech as that knot is quickly being tied again in your stomach. 
Neteyam on the other hand becomes focused on another knot, tugging at the twine holding your top in place while still working on your pussy with zealous excitement. With your aid, the dangling top is released and falls to the side. His assault on your pussy pauses for him to trail upwards and lick along your quickly hardening peaks. 
“So pretty, Tanhi.” He murmurs against your right nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking. Meanwhile his fingers have taken the place of his tongue and expertly rub your clit. “My pretty little star.” 
Gleeful pride twinkles in his eyes as he looks up at you, a string of saliva connecting his lips to your chest. Your small hands grapple at any part of him you can reach, finding purchase on his flexed bicep that holds himself over you. 
The connecting lines of your thoughts are tangled into a ball of messy hunger and desperation. Never in your wildest dreams would you have imagined such strange things to be so exhilarating. A part of you wonders what else was not included in that sex talk. 
His head is found back between your legs again once your nipples are red and pointed proudly. Neteyam licks, nips and sucks at your pussy like a starved man. Every moan of pleasure releases vibrations that sky rockets through you. It becomes too much to handle. You’ve never felt more fragile in your entire life than when his eyes connect with yours, one eye winking at you, and you fall apart. 
Neteyam’s moan while licking up the white substance pouring from you goes completely unnoticed as the world around you spins and your ears ring. The gravity of this orgasm shakes you to the bones, floodgates of pleasure completely open in your brain. 
Although it feels as if Pandora has slipped out from beneath you, the recovery from this release is swift. Your skin prickles with goosebumps and your pussy hungrily clenches around open air once more. It seems that the monster of a heat inside you grows more insatiable with every second. So when Neteyam covers one finger in the remnants of your juices and starts to prod at your entrance, you’re relieved. 
“You’re doing so good, baby girl. This may feel strange at first, but let me know if it hurts too much.” It’s hard to focus on anything else besides the shiny slick that still coats his chin as he looks at you, but you manage a nod.
It does feel strange at first, your walls incredibly tight. Getting down to the first knuckle is easy but going towards the second proves to feel a little more strained. Regardless, you are happy to find that getting one finger inside is nothing near as painful as expected. Neteyam wiggles the digit and it makes you twitch. Such a strange sensation to be filled but, the longer he twists and curls his finger, the more you find yourself enjoying it. 
“How does that feel, yawne?”
“F-fine…a little strange.” 
Neteyam chuckles.
“I know. My girl’s pretty pussy is so tight.” It’s the pride and adoration in his voice that melts you from the inside out. The muscles of your cunt relax against him as he starts to slide another finger in. 
This stretch takes a little more time, effort, and praise from your alpha but otherwise it’s smooth sailing. He scissors and stretches your walls with due diligence, even as the dark pupils of his eyes overtake the gold color. By the third finger, you’re clawing at his braced forearm and begging for his cock. Neteyam doesn’t immediately give in, reminding you of the importance of being stretched out for him. Frustrated by his noble intentions, you aren’t beyond playing dirty. 
“Alpha please! Need your cock so bad, it hurts. Feel so empty.” The begging turns into sweet tones of whimpers. You can see the shift of his muscles as they tense. His pheromones take on a stronger hue, one that surrounds you like a cloud. Your small hand reaches down for him, fingers grasping in open air. Neteyam is quick to use the hand not half way up your pussy to hold your own, looking up at you. “You said you’d take care of me, alpha.” 
Perhaps in a situation not distorted by desperate lust and the sweet scent of your erotic perfume Neteyam would be tempted to put you over his knees for trying to manipulate him, but the clenching of your velvet walls around his fingers is enough to keep him focused on being balls deep inside of you instead. You can see the moment that his resolve crumbles to ashes, it’s accentuated by a deep growl and narrowed eyes. 
You watch with hungry eyes as Neteyam hastily claws at the strings of his loincloth. It’s a wonder that it doesn’t rip underneath his harsh fingers but it finally falls away and your pupils dilate at the sight. His length stands heavily against his stomach, curving slightly under its own weight. Saliva gathers in your mouth as you observe the freckled stars that glow under the dim light of the room and scatter over his shaft till reaching the tip. A bead of precum is settled there and for the first time, you understand the desire to put your mouth in such sinful places. 
Neteyam preens under your awed attention, his hindbrain purring in delight at seeing his little mate impressed with what he has to offer. His grin widens when he notices your hand hesitantly reaching towards it. You stop, however, before getting to touch. 
“It’s ok, Tanhi. You can touch.” The three fingers leave your entrance with a squelching sound. Neteyam confidently keeps eye contact while licking the digits clean with a soft purr, then that large hand is wrapping around your own and leading you towards his twitching member. 
Even with Neteyam’s guidance, you’re unable to wrap the entirety of his width in your grip, but he doesn’t appear to be bothered by it. In fact, a devious spark lights in his smile as he watches you struggle to hold it. Although, you will probably never admit it outside of heat, you too enjoy the dramatic size difference between the two of you. On more than one occasion you have let your arousal ruin your loincloth just from having his large body completely wrapped around your own, tucking you away so easily. 
A small gasp leaves your throat when his cock twitches in your hand. Neteyam can’t keep his cooing laughter in as he pets affectionately at your hair. He pauses to take a breath from the mask while still smirking. 
“You see what you do to me, baby girl?” 
The taste of iron erupts in your mouth and it is only then that you realize you’ve been crushing your bottom lips between sharp teeth. 
“Is it…uncomfortable?” It feels silly to be so bashful after having his lips along your pussy moments earlier, but you can’t help but keep your voice down to a whisper. You thank the Great Mother for the privacy that the scientists have allowed the two of you over the past few days. There would be no recovery for your dignity if they were to walk in on this scene. Heat or not, being whiny and oblivious is embarrassing. 
“Hm, sometimes my love. If relief is not given.” He guides your thumb to run over the head. “Mostly it gets my thoughts traveling to tempting places. Imagining all the different ways I can have you laid out for me.” The weight of your eyelids seem to increase with every word he speaks. His other hand running up and down your inner thigh only adds to the lust filled daze that has captured you. 
“Wondering what you would taste like.” Being the cheeky alpha that he is, Neteyam doesn’t let the opportunity pass by without reaching a few digits down to his soaked thigh and swirling the substance between his fingers. He simultaneously continues to help you jerk his thick member slowly while sticking the dripping fingers into his mouth profanely. 
“My imagination, however, doesn’t do it justice.” He hums with delight, his pink tongue swiping over his bottom lip to collect any escaping juices. “My thoughts are merely a facade in comparison to the real thing. They can’t do you justice.”
You subconsciously tighten your grip around him at the words, causing a low groan to rumble from his chest. Another trickle of slick coats your entrance. You’re in absolute awe at your body's ability to get close to cumming just from the dark noises and words that spill from your mate’s lips. Not to mention the twitching weight of his cock restrained in your hand. 
“Then stop imagining and come here.” You leap forward and capture his lips with your own. Neteyam’s hum of surprise morphs into a viscous growl as your tongues fight for dominance. The little gasps and groans that slip into the kiss as you pump his cock is electrifying. It’s borderline addicting to see that way the mighty Omatikaya Prince bucks his hips for you. A sense of power to know that you can get him melting like this. 
Never breaking the kiss, Neteyam shuffles your body forward and the two of you start to guide his cock towards your fluttering pussy. All forms of trepidation are gone. Your body screams from every pore that you can take it. You trust these instincts as the thick head of his member prods at your entrance. 
Your lips part against his mouth in a gasp when the head slips past your entrance. Slick walls stretch in ways that you couldn’t have imagined and it feels as if you are about to be split in half. Neteyam continues to kiss and nip at your lips gleefully while carefully continuing to guide himself in inch by inch. 
“You’re being such a good girl for me.” He coos as your eyes scrunch shut tightly. It feels as if the length will never stop, as if he is about to reach your chest from the inside, but Neteyam is patient. He takes his sweet time checking up on you with every inch and soaking his tone and words with constant praises. It does this trick, scratching at that primal desire to please your alpha. 
When his balls finally meet the curve of your ass, little whimpers rain from you consistently. 
“N-nete, so b-big.” You cry, forehead touching his own as you struggle to take in ragged breaths. He forces you to take a breath from the mask hanging from his neck. 
“I know, baby. So perfect and tight around me.” His own voice shakes slightly. “God damn!” The english phrase sounds like gibberish to your ears but you understand the sentiment nonetheless. 
Settled there to let you adjust, your head lolls to his shoulder.  When his cock twitches, you clamp your teeth down on his exposed shoulder to stabilize yourself. Neteyam encourages the oral fixation through  hissed words of praise. Tears spill from your eyes but it’s hard to say what the source of your crying is. The stretch is uncomfortable but you can’t deny the certain tinge of pleasure that courses through you when a slight shift reminds you of how full your pussy is. Eventually, your heat takes the edge off, rewarding your ability to secure a mate with a pulsing clit and dripping entrance. 
It takes a moment to realize that Neteyam is calling your name, you eventually snap out of it when his lips murmur it straight into your flicking ears. 
“Hand me your kuru, baby.” Your hands obey on their own accord. “Want you to understand how good you feel, Tanhi. How happy you make me.”
When those dancing tendrils wrap securely around one another, your eyes go from sleepy slits to dilated pupils of awe. It never becomes old being able to feel Neteyam so closely. To feel his breath and strength. To have his own emotions coalesce with yours. A vulnerable certainty of how he is feeling. In this state, neither of you can hide. There is no deceit. There are no polite formalities. You both have direct access to the other’s soul.
This time, a new current of sensation travels through the bond. It sparks into growing forms of ecstasy that makes you groan. It’s a strange thing to accept, but you can feel your own tights walls secured around him. Hugging him so tightly in the warmth of your cunt, velvety texture caressing him with every shift. Underneath that pleasure also grows an unyielding lust that pricks at his self control with every passing second. His hindbrain is screaming at him to move. To claim. To fill your womb with his seed until it drips out from you. 
It’s better than if the words had come from his own lips. It sets you into a feral need to complete these fantasies. 
“Can you feel me, baby girl?” His arms are securely wrapped around your middle to keep you tight against him. 
“Yes Nete, feel all of you. Need all of you. W-want you to move.” The ability to form coherent sentences starts to slip between your fingers. Neteyam, however, requires no further instruction. Your back hits the hammock once more as his strong grip clasps around the soft flesh of your hips. The mask is settled over your lips by the alpha before he continues. 
Slowly, but surely, he draws out with smooth and continuous thrusts. Your cunt clenches around him almost painfully, as if to keep him locked there. Once the tip is just barely past your entrance he starts to slide back in smoothly. The prolonged thrusts eventually angle in a way that hits a bundle of nerves inside you that has never been explored by you before. Neteyam moans in sync with you as he can feel your own pleasure every time the head of his cock rubs at the rosy spot. 
It spurs him forward. You don’t have to explicitly tell him to go faster because he can feel it straight through the bond. It allows you to focus the energy you have left on gripping his shoulders for dear life. A brutal rhythm begins to take place, your legs wrapped around his waist. 
“Oh Eywa!” You screech. The obscene noises of skin slapping fills the room along with Neteyam’s loosed growls and grunts. 
“That’s not my name, Tanhi.” The alpha teases, but you can feel the aching desire he has to hear his own name upon your lips. To have the auditory satisfaction of knowing he is pleasing his little mate.
“N-neteyam oh haa Nete!” 
His precision at hitting your g spot increases. Neteyam learns your body with an impressive speed. One hand comes up to palm and tease your breasts in his large hand. His eyes switching back and forth between watching his cock disappear inside of you and marveling at the nipple hardening between his pinched fingers. 
Everything starts to become a blur for you. The origins of sounds are unknown. Several times you are surprised to find that the high pitched screams are coming from your own throat. Your body shakes and trembles as if it is about to shatter into a million pieces. And that is what you come to truly believe as it overwhelms your senses. It is so consuming and new that you start to sputter little pleas of mercy to your mate, convinced that you truly will die from this overload of sensations. 
“It’s alright, Tanhi. You’re alright. Just let go for me. Let it all go.” 
Your hair tangles in the woven material of the hammock as you shake your head. Neteyam thrusts become ragged and less coordinated but he slips a hand down to fondle at your clit. You scream and arch, cumming harder than ever before. Neteyam is less than a second behind you, feeling the effects of your orgasm through the bond. Warm ropes of seeds paint your inner walls. 
The first normal sense that comes to you is the feeling of Neteyam’s heavy and warm body collapsed on top of yours. Heated breath tickles at your neck, intermittent with sweet kisses and nonsense murmurs. You let yourself bask in the afterglow. Your body is sore and motionless, but luckily Neteyam takes over. Only a tiny sound comes from you when he slips out.
“Come here, tanhi.” Your boneless body is pulled to lay on top of him. Soothing affection swims across the bond when you nuzzle your face against his chest. The swing of the hammock and rhythm of his heartbeat is quickly luring you to sleep. 
Neteyam grabs your hand and kisses it sweetly. You can vaguely make out the sound of his voice, but the words are like garbled noises which never compute in your brain. It’s hard to say whether or not it’s english or if you just can’t understand simple words now in your fucked out state. Still, you like the way it makes his chest rumble. 
“Neteyam.” The rumble stops, tail flickering as he waits patiently. 
“I see you.” Your words are barely more than a whisper in the stuffy room but they ring true. He gently places the breathing mask over your lips again before your eyes close. 
“You’re all I see, little star.” 
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Taglist @yurmomsawh0r @nilahsstuff @name-saken @luvv4j4ybe11 @stylishtoast @karateperson @henhouse-horrors @easy2004 @whisperingwillow0854 @whenercolorfulrainbowlol @neteyamtesuli
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anemonelovesfiction · 5 months ago
Note
Okayyyy so likeeee what if Neteyam and y/n were going through one of those Tsireya and Lo'ak moments yea? 🤭😭
Anddd y/n is teaching him about the bond between him and the ilu, but he gets so distracted by her eyes and hand placement that he fails horribly. And when they grow up she decided to teach him how to ride a warriors mount. And as you could imagine he fails time and time again. So y/n trys to take a new approach in order to teach him about the bond, except this time it isn't him and an ilu, it's not even with him and a warriors mount.
It's him and her.
(ik it's a lot I'm srry I got a lil dramatic with it but I love to make requests what can I say 😭😭)
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Learn To Ride
Neteyam x Fem! Metkayina Reader
Warnings ⚠️: Fingering!, P! In V!, Handjob! Neteyam failing at stuff at first, descriptive smut bc I went down a rabbit hole of my own story
Thank you to the wonderful anonymous person who requested this, here is the story and I hope you enjoy it 🥹
Translation Station
Ilu: Large plesiosaur-like sea creature
Ikran: Warriors mount (in Omatikaya culture)
Numeyu: Student
Tsmuke: Sister
Toruk Makto: Rider of Last Shadow (used to refer to Jake)
Tsurak: Warriors mount (in Metkayina culture)
Tewng: Loincloth
Syulang: Flower
Word Count: 7k
I held on to the saddle handle of the Ilu before me as I watched Neteyam hesitantly slide on, settling himself to not slide off its slippery body, looking at me for guidance on where to place his hands to steady himself.
“Hold on here,” I signal with my hand and watch as his eyes scramble to find where I had meant, my hand never leaving the handle of the saddle, he lifts his much larger hand as his fingers graze over mine, I let go slowly but felt as though his hands had warmed mine up even with our minimal contact.
I move my hands to busy themselves before he notices my flustered state, grasping onto one of the neural whips connected to the Ilu’s temple, gliding my fingers down toward where their kuru hid and bring it above water.
“This is where you connect,” I speak and watch him closely. He nods his head as his face changes to one of concentration, grasping his own queue and swinging it around his shoulder smoothly, slowly inching it toward the Ilu, his actions clearly showing uncertainty.
“Make the bond gently, feel her as if you could feel your own ikran when you bond, Ilu are sensitive creatures but bond very easily.” I ensure him as I continue holding the Ilu’s kuru toward him. He nods once more as he makes his connection, the Ilu below him moving with sudden excitement before settling down almost immediately.
“You might want to take it easy, Ilu are very swift under water, it might be a little different than what you’re used to.” I stated as I stepped back slightly.
“Curve your body with hers when you go under water and keep your hand on the handle, your other one will go beside her body,” I stated as he nods.
“Okay,” he responds easily and takes in a big breath, the Ilu taking off swiftly under water, I dunk my head under the water to watch him, his body almost immediately flying off of the Ilu entirely, I could hear my younger brother laughing above the water.
I popped my head above the water and glare at Ao’nung, he holds his hands up in defense as a sly smile plays at his face, I look over to see my younger sister, Tsireya, covering her own mouth as she actually attempts to stop herself from smiling. My ears flicker as I hear the eldest child of Jake Sully pop his head above water while coughing.
I sighed internally, moving underwater to get toward where he was, popping my head up and feeling a pang of sympathy for the man before me.
“Are you alright?” I asked as I thought about reaching out to touch his hand as a way to show him it was alright but pulling back before he noticed as I figured he wasn’t the type to want to be coddled.
“I am fine, lets try again.” He insists and I nod, calling the Ilu over with a few clicks of my tongue, clapping twice before the creature turned around underwater, swimming over toward where I was standing.
“Alright, again.” I had stated right as I watched him get back on the Ilu.
_________
“Are you sure I am improving?” He sits atop the ilu and grasps the reigns one-handed, he’s starting to gain confidence on the Ilu but still has to work on a couple of things, my ears lower slightly, still open and up but not as high as they were before, a smile forming on my face.
“You might not see it, or even believe me when I say this, but you have improved since your first time riding,” I began, leaving my sentence open toward the end, his own ears flick in disappointment as he picks up my hint.
“But?” He asks, wanting me to continue where I had left off and I smile once more. I can see him chewing on his bottom lip, as if contemplating if what I had said were true, but grasping his own queue as he makes the bond with the ilu.
“Just focus on your turns today,” I admit rather sheepishly, feeling the heat growing on my cheeks for having told him where he was lacking, but also knowing this was part of his training. Instead of sticking through with it he would often slow down before turning and it would constantly cause him to get left behind a lot.
“Okay,” He nods once more before he dives under the water with the creature, picking up momentum as his body stays flush with the Ilu, I dive my head under the water and watch as he attempt to do a sharp turn, watching as his body slips out of alignment with the Ilu and he flies toward the opposite side.
I scrunch my face up upon seeing him frustratedly wave his hands under water, and fix himself to swim upright, I bring myself up above water and watch as he instinctively calls the Ilu back over and slides back into the creature, holding into the reigns and trying again.
One of the things I admired about Neteyam was the fact that he never gave up, always willing to get back into whatever situation and trying again, it made me smile, had I not been paying attention to my numeyu I would have heard the sound of my younger brother coming up behind me.
“Why did you lie to him?” Ao’nung’s voice breaks through my thoughts and I place my hand on my heart in an attempt to calm its rapid beating.
“I did not lie,” I answered rather quickly.
“He is not improving, tsmuke.” He states rather blandly, making it a point to make me see crossing his hands across his body in disapproval.
“It is small, but it is there, he just needs more practice.” I admitted as I attempted to shoo him away, only to be met with his growing smirk, I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
“It is truly nonexistent.” He comments smugly and I’m threatened to follow my instincts, which I’m glad I did, as my hand comes to slap the back of his head, hiding a smirk of my own as he begins complaining about telling our mother.
_________
That had happened many months ago, learning to ride an Ilu had proven to be a challenge for Toruk Makto’s eldest son, but he would have to face an even greater challenge soon, and I dreaded having to be the one to teach him only because I found it hard to be blunt with him.
This all seemed like an easier task for his younger brother, Lo’ak, who had taken a liking to my younger sister, Tsireya. It appeared as though the two sought after one another during lessons, any time we paired up, those two always ended up together, just like Neteyam and I.
I’d be lying to myself if I hadn’t felt a spark of interest on my end of things. There was something enthralling about Neteyam and I wasn’t sure if he had felt the same way about me but I knew that I’d been in too deep to care about that now. He was charming, polite, fascinating, and attractive, but I had to clear my mind of these thoughts as I was with him right now.
I swam under the water and swayed my hips as it helped propel me faster, my body weaving through the water as if by second nature, my arms reaching out to push more water out of my way, moving my body forward, reaching a stopping point as I turn around to ensure Neteyam had been following behind me, and he was.
He has shown much improvement in his breath holds, being able to rival any natural born metkayina, having put in the work during our lessons to grasp an understanding on it and succeeding rather quickly, he followed behind me and I signaled for us to go up to the surface, he nods as the two of us begin swimming upward.
The breeze from the surface cools down my skin and causes me to shiver, my loose hair beginning to stick to my body as it bobs within the waves, his head coming up shortly after, releasing the rest of his breath before continuing to breath normally.
We begin swimming with our heads above water and heading toward the three brothers rocks island, finally able to use our legs with the gravity provided from our planet, walking further until reaching past the sand and onto the grass, settling myself down onto the grass and watching as he sits next to me.
“You have learned quite a lot within the past months. I am proud of you, Neteyam,” I admit as a smile graces my features, I turn to look at him to see the face he is making is one of uncertainty, it catches me off guard as my own smile falters.
“I am not looking forward to training with tsurak.” He admits as he looks down, shaking his head slightly, and it makes my heart shatter slightly.
“I believe you will do fine,” I stated honestly, feeling the words as earnestly as I could, knowing that it would take a while for him to learn but knowing it would happen eventually.
“It took me many months to learn to ride an Ilu.” He stated bluntly as his eyes come back to meet mine.
“But you still learned to ride one regardless,” I insisted and watch as he brings his lips back into a thin line, choosing to not see his success.
“I understand.” I stated rather quickly right as he opened his mouth to say something, he closes it as soon as I spoke, his eyes finding mine again.
“Being the eldest child means failure is not an option.” I admit as I find comfort in the waves of the ocean lapping in the distance, rising ever so slightly only to blend back into the body of water it had come from.
“I do not want to become a disappointment.” He sighs as he answers.
“I know the feeling,” I admit and feel my body starting to relax as I begin to slouch slightly, not having shared that feeling with anyone.
At some point, his hand must have slid over, as I feel it placed gently on top of mine. My face turns to look down at his rather large hand covering mine, looking back at him to see him staring at me, a blush covering my cheeks.
“I doubt you have or ever will disappoint anyone,”
_________
I looked off in the distance with my head underwater as Neteyam’s body flies off the Tsurak, his body spinning in circles, caught in the miniature currents made by the beasts body. It doesn’t take him long to find where to go as he straightens his body and swims upward, his fists clenched under the water and his head finally coming up above, the skin of his brows turned inwards to show his anger.
“That run wasn’t bad-“ Tsireya speaks as her head comes up above the water as well, she had been training Lo’ak beforehand, but decided to stay to see if there was some advice she could give as she knew I was finding it hard to speak to him as the days went on.
“You’re right, it was horrible.” Lo’ak cuts my sister off and all I could do was turn with a glare in his direction, the smile he once had being wiped from his face, my face turning back toward an angered Neteyam as he starts swimming past me.
“Neteyam,“ I began as I reach an arm out for him, he quickly shakes my hand off before turning quickly.
“Let us try again-“ I stated in an up eat mood in an attempt to get him to turn back and forget his anger, but he only huffs.
“This is a waste of everyones time.” He grumbles as he continues swimming away.
When it comes to training with Tsurak, we have to be in deeper waters in order to dive, considering the creatures are larger and longer than Ilu are, they need more area to dive under. They’re quite fast too, going faster than any Ilu ever has, something I knew would be challenging for Neteyam, but being the hopeful person I was I believed he would have been able to master it, but we had been swimming in this area for a little over four hours and he still fell off.
We watched as he swims away and I could feel my lower lip tremble as if I had done something wrong, knowing that none of this was my fault but still feeling as if it had been, maybe I shouldn’t have pushed him too hard this time, maybe I shouldn’t have had an audience watching him today, there were a lot of maybe’s floating in my mind but a gentle hand placed on my shoulder. I turn my head to see his younger brother apologetically staring back at me.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, he’ll come around, promise.” He reassures me but I feel as though I had let the man down, wondering if there had been any other outcome that could have occurred if I had spent a little more time preparing him for mounting a tsurak.
But the more I thought about it, the easier it became for a small plan to begin unfolding in my brain. If I couldn’t verbally teach him how to ride a warriors mount, I should be able to physically teach him- and by physically I meant replacing the tsurak with me- yeah, that might actually work!
But I might have to wait for him to cool down and knowing how Neteyam is, this might take a couple of days before I could approach him again, but until then, I would have to put my plan into action.
_________
“Are we going to practice on an Ilu?” He asks and I could already tell from his tone he was half joking and half dreading what we were going to go do.
“No,” I answered honestly as I held on to his hand and continued dragging him toward a secluded area, wanting him to feel completely comfortable in being able to learn to ride.
“Then what more is there to practice on?” He asks and I can feel him pull his hand from mine, I frown at the loss of contact but turn to face him, a shy smile playing at my lips as I stare at him through my lashes.
“Me.” I answered honestly, feeling my ears flop down against my head, something I did when I was nervous to hear what the other person was thinking, to only stare at him with a confused look overtaking his features.
“What?” He asks aloud and I could feel my nerves beginning to rise, I felt the need to start playing with my fingers but find a sudden rise in confidence as I reach out and grasp his hand once again, smiling shyly again.
“You had a hard time mastering the Ilu, you’re struggling to ride a Tsurak, let me help you in this way and it will help you understand how to control the Tsurak.” I explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“How will this help me?” He asks as he raises the skin of his brow, I could sense his hesitation but grew frustrated with him instead, rolling my eyes for the first time as my ears perk up I could feel my tail shift from one side toward the other.
“You need to learn to control the beast-“
“And in this situation,” He points between us “-You are supposedly the beast?” He asks and I huff, ears automatically dropping at how he’d stated that, making me feel embarrassed.
“I can help you or I can leave.” I stated as I cross my arms along my chest, feeling as though this had been a big mistake, maybe I shouldn’t have brought him here in the first place, maybe I should have just-
“Fine,” He relents and I could feel my lips twitch up to a smile, but stop myself as soon as I felt it, staring at him to see if he would say more.
“I could use the help.” He admits more so to himself than to me but hearing him say that out loud had my ears perking up excitedly.
“Then follow me.” I stated immediately, I didn’t want him second guessing himself or questioning if this was rational, I just knew this was the only way I could get him to practice. I didn’t even wait for a verbal confirmation before turning around rather happily and trailing off, hearing his footsteps behind me.
“So,” He states as soon as we reach the small landing where I had placed a blanket on the ground, I had set a bucket of water off to the side in order to hydrate ourselves later of need be, some fruits off to the side for a snack.
“How are we going to start this?” He asks as he raises his hand up to scratch his head, his hand coming back down as he looks behind me toward my preparation, his eyes finding mine and I could feel the blush on my skin.
“And when did you have the time to do all of this?” He raises his brows in shock.
“I had a feeling you’d agree to me helping you.” I stated rather quickly and could feel my nerves acting up again.
“Is that what we’re calling this?” He asks with a small smile playing at his lips and I could feel myself blushing again. I couldn’t say anything, just allowed myself to come closer toward him, his head tilts to the side as he stares down at me.
“Are you going to learn or not-“ I began but was caught off guard as soon as he leans down to kiss me, cupping my face between his large hands, I was shocked at first but closed my eyes upon realizing what was going on, leaning into him as his lips grazed over mine.
His tongue sneaks out to gently swipe against my bottom lip and I was in awe of how bold he could be, deciding to open my mouth to oblige him, feeling his tongue sneak in and prod all over my mouth. I couldn’t help but moan lightly into his mouth as his tongue explores mine, pushing against it with his whilst his hands roamed my body.
I felt my own hands coming to wrap themselves around his neck as his kisses become greedy and sloppy, his teeth clashing into mine as his tongue gains control over mine, his mouth detaching from mine and I could feel the rush of cool air enter into my lungs, I’d never had someone kiss me in a way that made me lose my breath, but he was compelling, and I’d let it happen again. His lips making their way across my cheek, toward my jaw, and down my neck, causing my mind to beg my hips to find some sort of relief for all this pleasure I wanted to feel.
I accidentally ground my hips onto his and could feel the start of his arousal forming, making me gasp as he opens his mouth over my neck and allows his fangs to graze the sensitive spot where the skin of my neck meets my shoulder, flurries of shivers run across my body as I attempt to move away from him in a way a tsurak would, feeling his arms tighten around me and suckling the skin in his mouth, my hips meeting his once more.
His kisses become aggressive and I couldn’t help but whine at the sensation of his mouth finally releasing my neck as the breeze picks up and assaults my newly formed hickey.
“Neteyam-“ I cry out as his mouth reattaches itself to my collarbone, his greedy hand covering one of my breasts as his other is placed on the small of my back, pulling me closer toward his hips as he grinds himself against me, another moan slipping past my mouth, and the heat beginning to pool around my needy cunt.
“Shh,” He shushes me calmly, his face now coming into view as his pointer finger and thumb managed to sneak past the beads of my top to hold my nipple prisoner between them, lightly rolling it between both fingers, a blush dusting his face as I’m sure a blush covered mine, I could only bring my bottom lip between my teeth, a whimper following soon after.
“Thats it, just let me take control, yeah?” He offers and I clench my thighs together, his voice had seemed to have dropped considerably as his arousal had clearly heightened.
“No-“ I mumble, barely audible, but I could tell he’d heard me, his ears flickered after the words had left my mouth and I could feel a bit of embarrassment framing my face. He only pinches my nipple harshly as his face goes back down, the hand that had been on my back had now desperately shoved my beaded top up past my breast to expose it to him, his mouth covering the one he’d left unattended.
“Please,” I begged in my distressed state, wanting to feel more of him, but needing a second to catch my breath at the same time.
“Thats what I thought,” He smirks as the words leave his mouth but all I could think of was his hot mouth wrapping itself around my clit and Eywa I wanted it so bad, but I had to be patient, my time to train him would come soon.
I felt bold enough to place my hands on his pecs, not providing any pressure to make him think I’d wanted him to pull away, but slowly snaking my hands down his body, feeling the ripple of muscles he had worked hard for underneath my fingertips, crossing the ridges of his abs and watching as his eyes trail from following my fingers back up to my face, silently asking what I was doing.
I manage to stop right at the waistband of his tewng, lightly tugging at the fabric of it and feeling his v-line as I looked down, looking back up quickly as the tips of my fingers graze on his length, my cheeks heating up automatically. He nods his head to silently tell me to keep going and I bite my bottom lip before wrapping my hands around his length, his lips coming back down onto mine, both of his hands now cupping my cheeks as I attempt to stroke his cock.
My hands move too slow for his liking as he brings one of his hands from my cheek and down toward his tewng, untying it and allowing it to fall onto the ground beneath him, his hand coming up toward mine and moving my hand along his shaft at a faster pace.
I could feel myself smirking into the kiss as I catch the hint and start moving my hands at the pace he’d set, feeling his other hand trail down my body, feeling a wave of excitement as he nears my breasts, only to be met with disappointment as he continues past them and gently tracing the underside of them, not even bothering to flick my nipple. I felt my hand come up and over the head of his cock and a small bead of precome gathers on the palm of my hand as I rub it back over his shaft, feeling somewhat accomplished with myself.
I could feel his hand trailing on my stomach and settle on my hip bones as his thumb gently caresses the skin there, I feel tingly inside as I continue rubbing his cock at the same pace and feeling him slightly rutting into my hands, I could feel more of the precome forming at the tip and focused on gathering as much of it as I could before placing it over his shaft.
Before I know it, I could feel the smooth and quiet breeze of the ocean flowing as it hits my backside, realization dawns on me as Neteyam hadn’t been caressing my hips, he’s been messing with the knot on my tewng to untie it, and it now sat pooled at my feet.
I could feel the goosebumps start to spread as his hand slowly goes with the curvature of my backside, feeling up on my bottom, and trailing his hand back toward the base of my tail and giving it an experimental tug, a lewd sound coming from my mouth as I suddenly stopped all movement with my own hands on his body and the feeling of my wetness starting to peek past my pussy as it follows the curvature of my lips.
“I figured as much,” Neteyam comments before his hands leave my tail and follow the path back onto my ass, before coming back around onto my hips and forcefully turning my body around to ensure my back was up against his chest, the feeling of his cock stuck between his body and my ass was enough to make me purposely lean back onto him.
“You’re such a naughty girl,” Neteyam is quick to comment as he places his hand down to swipe the lips of my pussy and a sound of approval reaches me as he leans down to kiss the sensitive skin of my ears, causing them to flick back, making me desperate for him to kiss them once more.
“Look at how wet you already are.” He states as he dips his fingers back into my wetness, bringing them back out as he holds his hand in front of my eyes, stretching his fingers out to see how my juices stuck onto his hand, a low moan coming from me as I witness the glistening digits.
His hand goes back down toward my cunt, stuffing his fingers to move my lips out of the way, rubbing his pointer right on my clit, my hips roll as if they had a mind of their own and my moans are never ending, I feel his free hand trail up my body, between the valley of my breasts, and up to grasp onto my neck, his fingers gently squeezing the sides and making my heart accelerate. A light feeling of euphoric bliss washes over me as his fingers apply more pressure toward my clit, my hips bucking at their own accord, his arm attempting to hold my hips still, trying to tame me as I lose myself in the pleasure he provided.
“You’re a dirty girl,” He comments as his fingers abandon my clit, before I could whine at the loss of contact, he shoves two of his fingers inside my sopping cunt, a loud gasp cut off my the squeeze he applied to my neck, feeling myself contract around his fingers.
“I figured you’d like that,” He chuckles to himself as he sets an even pace.
“Teyam,” I moaned as I allowed myself to close my eyes and get lost in the pleasure.
“Yes?” He asks sickeningly sweet his thrusts starting to slow down, in my frustration I attempted to grind down on his fingers, slightly causing my ass to push back onto his already leaking cock.
“Ah, ah, ah,” He tuts while taking his fingers out. Grasping my waist with both hands to stop me from moving as a disapproving whine musters its way out of my mouth, my disappointment more than evident, but I can hear the smirk in his voice with his next words.
“I thought you’d put up more of a challenge, you’re proving to be too easy to tame, I don’t think this will work in my favor.” At first I could feel my heart beating erratically as I believed he was being honest and was about to tell me he was done, but I could feel the small movement of his cock rubbing against the swell of my ass, and a small groan accompanying his movements, my tail swishing over to wrap around his waist loosely, the rest dangling off to the side as I felt his tail caressing mine.
“I can be more of a challenge if you want,” I stated rather boldly, although I had no idea how as I wasn’t sure what to do, but I had to figure out something quick.
“Lie down.” He stated as I felt his tail unwrap from mine, his hips removing themselves from behind mine and I could feel slight disappointment at the loss of contact, his scent that once suffocated me now lingering behind slightly, I needed it back.
I didn’t waste any time as I lied on the blanket I had set out, blue eyes meeting his golden ones, my breath coming down my throat but getting stuck as soon as our eyes made contact, a breathless feeling washing over me as I knew what he was planning to do, almost instinctively reaching over for my kuru, watching as he does the same.
“Are you certain?” I asked aloud, hesitant on making the connection with him, what if he bonded with me and later regretted it?
“I would be honored to make the bond with you, syulang.” He whispers as he stares deep into the depths of my soul, his hand coming up to gently caress my face, I close my eyes as I lean into the warmth his hand provides.
“Are you certain?” He turns the question toward me and I shoot my eyes open, words dying on my tongue as I see the intensity of his stare, gulping down and nodding my head.
“Yes, I am certain.” I stated vocally and could see the relief washing over his features. He then leans his kuru toward me, still being a gentleman and giving me the option to back out if I needed to, but I smile and meet him in the middle, watching as the tendrils of our kuru wriggle around before connecting with his, the tendrils pulling one another close.
I could feel my pupils dilate as we connected, every single thought he had starts racing in my mind, every feeling he’s ever felt suddenly coming through me like a wild fire, but the one feeling that brought me back was his lust, apparently he’d been feeling that toward me for a while, I could only stare into his eyes, seeing his pupils blown wide as he stares back at me, a small blush dusting his face.
I could only leap into his arms as my lips attach themselves onto his, my hands coming to wrap themselves around his neck for support, his own body not having expected the sudden movement as he falls back onto the sand, hands wrapping around my body as they wander around. I managed to situate our bodies to the point where I’d sat on his cock, my hips moving on their own accord as I rub itself onto his shaft, juices gliding over him as my clit catches on his head lightly, a moan coming from my mouth and being muffled by his.
He manages to take control and flips me back over so I’m the one laying in the sand, my desperation getting the better of me as I attempt to push my hips up to gain some relief, failing to do so as his hands come onto my hip bones, pushing me down in order to get me to stop. I oblige with his silent command but still feel the urge to thrust my hips, but I wait for his next move, feeling his domination through the bond, something I didn’t feel like doing was upsetting him at this moment and I laid still.
“Good girl,” He comments and I couldn’t help but whine at the praise he’d given me, my brain going mushy at the compliment, suddenly feeling hotter than ever. The grains of sand tickling my shoulder blades were the only form of stimulation I was getting and I was starting to become impatient.
“Patience Syulang,” He speaks again before grasping his cock, tugging himself a couple of times before coming close to my pussy and slapping the head of his cock on my clit.
I moaned as I spread my legs further for him, feeling the breeze hitting my cunt and closing my eyes. I could hear his groan of approval before slowly gliding himself down to gather some of my slick, the very tip of his cock going in, the stretch starting to feel glorious as I desperately wait for him to insert the rest of himself.
“Teyam, please-“ I rasp out desperately, hands coming up to try to hold on to something to stabilize me, his back coming into contact with my hands and my nails digging into the flesh selfishly.
“You feel so damn good,” He moans out as he slides more of himself in, I could only let out choked moans at the wonderful feeling of being stuffed with his cock, not giving a damn if anyone were nearby to hear me.
“I need m-more-“ I selfishly request and feel as he begins to thrust the length he does have in, going slowly as to not hurt me.
“Oh Eywa,” He grunts as he sinks himself in, feeling the hilt of his cock, his balls kissing the swell of my ass as his hips come close to mine, I unconsciously clench around his length and can hear a slight growl leaving his lips, his thoughts becoming a foggy mess through the bond, my fangs poking through my smile as I feel it’s my time to shine, purposely beginning to move my hips away from his.
I could feel the sting of his fat cock leaving the warmth of my pussy as I attempted to drag myself away before feeling his hands clamp down on my hips to prevent me from moving, taking the time to look up at his face to find it stuck in a grimace, the bond telling me he wasn’t in pain, but attempting to sort himself through the pleasure.
“So fucking good-“ He mutters in a language I can’t quite understand, but hearing him groan those words suddenly made me feel even more powerful, a smirk plastered on my face as he opens his eyes to look right at me, shimmying my hips around and feeling myself sliding off his cock.
“No!” He mutters between his closed lips as he attempts to keep me held in that position, his fingers slipping from my hips as I continue to shimmy away from him, before feeling an unpleasant emptiness settle itself in me, deciding to stop and move toward him, trying to settle his cock back inside.
“Oh great mother!” I gasped as I slide down rather quickly, not having expected Neteyam to be focused on stopping me from going in one direction instead of both, and meeting his hips with mine, the slap of our skin resonating in the air.
“Fuck,” He repeats the word louder as he attempts to catch his breath but struggles to breathe.”, I place my hand on his heart as I pant, feeling it pounding in his rib cage, almost begging to be set free.
“S-sl-slow your heart,” I commented and hear him groan in frustration, grasping my hips and sliding himself out before slamming himself back in rather roughly, making me jump slightly at the feeling and arch my back slightly in an attempt to fit more of his length in.
“I’ll try,” He grunts out and seems to be having a hard time concentrating, taking in a big breath and attempting to slow the rate his heart had been beating at, my hand still on his chest as I feel the rhythm slowing down by a bit.
“Good-“ I rasp out.
“C-can I t-try something?” I stutter out while dizzying myself on the lewd thoughts he was having, wanting to ravage my body and do nothing more than breed me, the submissive part of my brain wanting nothing more than to comply with his wishes.
“Okay, yeah, okay.” He repeats himself as he nods his head, still taking his sweet time to empty myself of his presence before sliding all the way back in, my back arching once more at the feel of his cock sliding against all the right spots inside me.
“Turn-“ I muttered as we managed to fumble onto the ground, slowly turning over until his back had been on the ground before us, and I had been on top, settling my knee’s on the floor and placing my hand on his chest, sliding my hips up and away from his thick cock.
“Holy shit,” He attempt to catch his breath before I slam myself back down, feeling fuller at this angle than I had when we were in missionary. His hands gliding up my hips and onto my waist before settling themselves back on my hips, his thumbs caressing the skin it could reach.
“I’m going to set a pace, I need you to match me, if you don’t match, I won’t let you come.” I muttered low enough for him to hear me, opening his eyes in shock at the threat I had made.
I didn’t bother waiting for a verbal confirmation as I began to set a rather slow pace, lifting my hips from his crotch sensually before sliding back down just as slow, teasing him at this point as his length bobs inside me once, myself clenching around him as our moans mingled in the air.
I can feel his hands tighten around my hips before he moves himself to a faster pace than the one I had set, I stop all movements and hear him whine in frustration, opening his eyes and glaring at me.
“I said match to match me.” I stated rather sternly, taking my hands off of his chest and crossing my arms to prove a point, but accidentally sinking down further onto his cock, a low moan slipping past his lips as I gasp in delight.
“Okay, I’m sorry, it just feels good,” He mutters as he lets go of one of my hips, hand slowly trailing down the small of my back before settling at the base of my tail and tugging it back, my pupils blowing wide as I clench around him, almost throwing my head back.
“You h-have to con-troll me,” I stutter through my words as my own thoughts were beginning to mush up, nothing becoming coherent anymore as I desperately rise my hips up from him as my hands settle onto his chest and setting another slow pace, but still different than the one before, feeling his determination through our bond as he begins to move his own hips to synch up with mine.
Our hips moving as though the two were in tempo with one another, separating for a second before meeting back down in the middle once more, my breathing starting to become quicker than what it had been as I begin to lose myself in the pleasure, starting to go faster and feeling him keeping up with me.
“‘Teyam-“ I gulp down a moan as I feel myself beginning to float in pleasure, the vision behind my eyelids beginning to lighten up as I continued squeezing my eyes shut, but knowing I had to do what I least expected to, stopping all motion and starting back down slowly.
Neteyam kept going at the quickened pace and I knew that meant it was time for me to stop moving my hips, hearing his disappointed sounds as he too stills himself, attempting to catch his breath as we both sporadically start moving at the same pace, I could only look down on him with approval in my eyes and see him smirking back.
“This feels good,” I moaned as I began to pick up the pace once more and feel him following my lead, I couldn’t stop myself at this point as I was too far gone to care anymore, starting to ride him as quick as I could, feeling the pleasure running its coarse through my body, his speed matching mine and not once slowing down until we both came in unison.
_________
The twists and turns the creature makes are rather quick, but he swims with accuracy as his body lies flat with the tsurak, following it wherever it chooses to go, not once being thrown off.
“Damn,” Lo’ak states as we all stand and watch in awe of Neteyam’s success.
“This is amazing!” Tsireya shouts happily as she too watches Neteyam weave through the water on the mount, but now came the hardest part, he gets in position with his stance, and as soon as the tsurak flies above the water, he does too.
The tsurak deploys its large pectoral fins as it begins to glide in the air, turning a sharp left without a care in the world, the man on top of him following swiftly as his body naturally leans in the direction of the tsurak’s turn.
I watched as he manages to quickly change positions atop the mount, both of them entering the water in a clean dive without having flown off the entire time since he’d started, I could feel a sense of pride swelling up in my body as I watch him emerge from the water with a smile on his sweet face.
“It’s like the change happened overnight,” Ao’nung chimed in, my ears flicker upon hearing his words and felt my cheeks heat up, attempting to hide myself from his view but being thankful that Neteyam had been making his way over toward me.
He was ready.
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doumadono · 1 year ago
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Warnings: violence, viking!Dabi, viking!Shoto, earl!Endeavor, viking!Hawks, viking!Natsuo, fem!reader, viking themes, smut (deflowering, p in v, blood)
Summary: as you reconcile with Touya, the dynamics between you two intensify, and with his departure alongside Shoto and Hawks, you find yourself grappling with the profound implications of Touya's gift, navigating a new chapter in your life
Word count: circa 8.1k
A/N: if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series, please let me know ♥
KVITRAVN - MHA VIKING AU • MY HERO ACADEMIA MASTERLIST
PREVIOUS CHAPTER • NEXT CHAPTER
ACT IV - IN THE VEIL OF DARKNESS
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Several days had slipped by.
Touya, consumed by the impending expedition, had become an elusive figure in your world. The anticipation of the journey ahead, alongside his youngest brother Shoto, Hawks, and a group of warriors, left little room for casual conversations. The Great Hall bore witness to his unwavering focus as he meticulously prepared, sharpening his weapons with an intensity that hinted at the challenges that lay ahead.
In the midst of the preparations, you frequently encountered Touya in the hall. His presence was undeniable, a brooding silhouette engrossed in the art of perfecting his sword and axe. The air around him crackled with an energy that mirrored the impending adventure.
Yet, despite the shared space and the fleeting glimpses, there was a palpable silence between you two. Whenever your paths crossed, he would promptly withdraw, leaving unspoken words hanging in the air.
In the meantime, Shoto, on the other hand, endeavored to draw nearer to you, under the impression that you harbored an interest in him. However, you gracefully declined each of his advances. Yet, in the face of his advances, you maintained a graceful poise, politely but firmly declining each of his attempts.
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The evening was bathed in a cold, biting chill, the kind that seeped into the bones. As the sky painted itself in hues of indigo and ebony, you found yourself entrusted with a task that seemed simple on the surface but proved to be more challenging than expected.
The warriors' clothes, worn and stained from battles past, awaited a thorough cleansing. The Great Hall had called upon you to fetch water from the bay, two heavy pails that seemed determined to resist your every attempt to carry them. Wrapped in a thick fur that clung to your shoulders, you ventured into the frosty night, a lone figure navigating the shadows.
The bay was a silent expanse, its waters reflecting the pale light of the moon. The air was crisp, filled with the briny scent of the sea. With each step, the crunch of frost-coated grass beneath your boots echoed in the stillness of the night.
As you reached the bay, the water shimmered in the moonlight, a tranquil contrast to the arduous task ahead. The pails, when filled, felt like anchors, their weight digging into your weary arms. The wind whispered tales of distant lands, carrying with it a numbing cold that penetrated through layers of clothing.
The journey back to the Great Hall became a battle against the elements. The fur draped around your shoulders provided little solace against the biting wind, and the weight of the water-laden pails seemed to increase with every step. Your breath formed delicate clouds in the frigid air as you pressed forward, determination masking the discomfort.
The Great Hall loomed in the distance, its warm glow promising respite from the harsh elements. With each step, the anticipation of a crackling fire and the warmth of shelter spurred you on.
As you struggled with the weight of the water-filled pails, a smooth, male voice sliced through the cold. The offer of help hung in the air, a surprising interruption to your solitary struggle. Instinctively, you refused, a reflex born of independence and perhaps a hint of pride.
Yet, within moments, the burden was lifted from your frozen hands. Bewilderment etched across your face, you slowly raised your head to find the source of assistance. A shock coursed through you as your eyes met those of Touya, draped in a thick, black bear fur.
Silence lingered for a moment before you managed a nod, acknowledging his unspoken gesture of aid. The air crackled with unspoken tension as the pails now rested in Touya's capable hands. The night seemed to hold its breath, awaiting the exchange of words that hung in the chilly air.
You suddenly uttered, your voice measured, "I appreciate the help, but I had it under control."
A chuckle escaped Touya's lips, warm against the icy backdrop. "Sure looked like it," he remarked, a teasing glint in his turquise eyes. Touya's gaze lingered on you, and for a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. Sensing your reluctance, he ventured, "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
You nodded, the weight of unspoken words lingering in the air. The memory of Touya witnessing to Shoto's unexpected kiss, cast a shadow over the present.
Touya, breaking the awkward silence, continued, "Listen, about that night…" He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "I should have said something. I should have…"
You interrupted, your voice a mix of reluctance and honesty, "It's in the past, Touya. Water under the bridge. And just so you know, I didn't want that. Your brother was drunk."
"I avoided talking to you," he confessed, his voice tinged with bitterness, "because I thought you were into Shoto. I thought he'd be better for you in so many ways than I could ever be, Y/N."
His words halted you in your tracks, and you turned to face him, your expression a mix of surprise and bitterness. "Why say it now?" you asked, your tone edged with a bitter curiosity.
Touya sighed. "Because I need you to know the truth. I need you to understand why I've been distant. My scars, my fucked-up character — I didn't think I was enough for you. I thought I was saving you from someone like me. Not to mention I brought you here against your will."
The truth hung heavy in the air, and for a moment, the silence between you was almost suffocating. Lowering your head, you took a deep breath before opening up to him, "Despite all that, Touya, you've always been kind to me. You've seemed to genuinely care, and I appreciate all the little gestures."
A hint of surprise flickered in Touya's eyes, and you continued, "Even tonight, when you helped me with the pails, it didn't go unnoticed. And about your scars, both physical and mental — I don't mind. They don't define you." You paused, reflecting on a specific memory, "Remember the night we kissed? I felt comfortable, Touya. Despite the circumstances, I felt a connection. Your scars never mattered to me then, and they don't now. And I have no idea why you like me. I'm nothing but a thrall."
Touya's frown deepened as the word "thrall" escaped your lips. "Don't say that," he hissed, a hint of intensity in his voice.
You chuckled bitterly, "But it's the truth. I'm just a slave to you and your family. After these months, I've gotten used to it, even if it's still hard to be polite at times when people treat me like a piece of meat."
The weight of your words hung in the air, and Touya gently placed the pails on the ground. Cupping your face in his gloved hands, the soft touch of thick leather against your reddened cheeks felt surprisingly comforting. "Don't ever call yourself that," he insisted, his eyes searching yours. "You're not just a thrall to me. You're… you."
You met his gaze, a mix of confusion and gratitude in your eyes.
Touya continued, his voice softer now, "Around you, I don't have to pretend. I don't have to be someone I never was, you know? Only with you, I feel like I can be myself fully."
His words lingered in the cold night air, a vulnerable admission that cut through the complexities of your situation. The touch of his gloved hands on your face, an unexpected tenderness, conveyed a depth of emotion that defied the roles you both found yourselves in.
In that moment, beneath the moonlit sky, Touya, for the first time, allowed himself to be seen, and you, in turn, found solace in the unexpected warmth of his touch.
Silence settled between you and Touya, a quiet understanding born from the unspoken exchange. You nodded, acknowledging his words, and without further discussion, you both resumed the journey back to the Great Hall.
The moon cast its gentle glow on the path ahead as you walked side by side. The rhythmic sound of boots on frost-coated ground echoed in the stillness.
As you approached the Great Hall, the door creaked open, and you both stepped inside, the warmth enveloping you like a familiar embrace. The pails were set down, and the flickering light of the hearth danced on the walls.
"Thanks, Touya. I appreciate the help," gratitude filled your voice as you thanked him for his assistance.
A small, genuine smile curved on his lips as he removed his gloves and fur. "It's no problem. Let me know where you want these," he gestured to the pails.
"The backroom," you replied, "Hilda and the other girls are there. We're doing laundry tonight."
With a nod, Touya complied, carrying the pails to the backroom.
As he entered, Hilda and the other thralls, caught off guard by the unexpected guest, momentarily stood up, bowing respectfully.
Touya, however, remained polite and offered his assistance. "Let me help you with that."
Hilda, blinking in surprise, tried to dissuade him. "Prince Touya, this is not a task befitting of your status. We can handle it."
Touya chuckled, a genuine warmth in his keen eyes. "I'm here to help. No need to treat me any differently. What can I do?"
Hilda reluctantly assigned him a task, and soon, the room buzzed with activity. Touya, alongside you and the other thralls, engaged in the laundry work. The atmosphere, once laden with tension, now hummed with a shared sense of purpose.
Conversations flowed naturally as you worked, the rhythmic splash of water and the occasional laughter blending into a harmonious melody. Touya, despite his royal status, interacted with the thralls on a personal level, breaking down the barriers that society had imposed.
As the laundry was washed and the room filled with the scent of soap and clean linen, Touya continued to lend a helping hand. Together with Hilda, he assisted in hanging the freshly laundered clothes, ensuring they would dry efficiently.
However, unbeknownst to all of you, a pair of sharp turquoise eyes observed the scene from a concealed vantage point. The eyes lingered on the group, absorbing the unexpected sight of Touya, a heir, engaging in the everyday tasks alongside thralls.
Hilda's gratitude was expressed through a gentle rub on Touya's shoulder. "Thank you, Touya."
He responded with a nod and a warm smile. "Anytime," he said sincerely. "You can always ask me for help if needed. I will do my best to assist."
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The evening continued with the familiar sounds and scents of the kitchen. Pots clanged, and the aroma of simmering dishes wafted through the air as you busied yourself preparing supper for the earl Endeavor, his sons, and the departing warriors, including Hawks. The flickering flames in the hearth cast a warm glow over the room, but a sense of unease lingered within you.
Touya's presence had offered a respite from the isolation you often felt, but the worry about his well-being persisted. The failed attempt to gather information from Shoto had left you in the dark, and the unanswered questions weighed heavily on your mind.
Hilda, noticing your distraction, scolded you for bringing the young prince into the fold of daily duties like laundry. "You shouldn't involve the prince in such matters," she chided, her tone firm.
You listened to her admonishment, understanding the societal implications of your actions, yet you couldn't help but defend Touya. "He genuinely wanted to help. It's more than I can say for some others."
As the night unfolded, you focused on the task at hand, serving the prepared supper to the earl and his sons, hoping that the meal would provide a momentary respite from the weight of unanswered questions and the complexities of the world you found yourself entangled in.
Amidst the clatter of cutlery and the hum of conversation at the dinner table, your keen observational skills didn't fail to pick up on the subtle glances exchanged between Shoto and Hawks. They sat on opposite sides of the table, but a series of shared looks and silent nods hinted at some unspoken understanding. Though you couldn't quite discern the nature of their exchange, a feeling of unease settled within you.
Despite the undercurrent of mystery, your attention occasionally wavered as you found yourself caught in the interplay of glances with Touya. Whenever your eyes met his, a warmth spread across your cheeks, and a shy smile played on your lips. Touya's nods and the subtle touch of his hand when you refilled his cup with mead sent a flutter through your heart.
The atmosphere at the table, fraught with a mix of hidden agendas and unspoken emotions, contrasted sharply with the routine of serving and replenishing dishes.
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The night unfolded in a flurry of activity. After the supper, you and the other thralls diligently cleaned the main chamber, ensuring every dish and piece of cutlery sparkled in the soft glow of candlelight. The earl Endeavor and his sons retired for the night, and as the main chamber returned to a state of quiet, the rhythmic sound of washing dishes and the occasional hum of conversation among the thralls echoed through the longhouse.
After the tasks were complete, and the main chamber restored to its usual order, you took a quick bath to wash away the remnants of the day. As you made your way back to your shared room, wrapped in a simple linen robe, you unexpectedly crossed paths with Touya in the hallway.
"Touya," you greeted him, a mixture of surprise on your face as you tightened the robe around your figure. "You startled me!"
He flashed a confident smile. "Hey Y/N. I was hoping I'd run into you before I leave tomorrow morning."
You raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk forming on your lips. "And what brings you seeking my company, my lord?"
"Well, it gets lonely in those grand chambers," he mused.
You couldn't help but laugh at his audacity. "Are you implying I'm your solution to loneliness, my lord?"
Touya's grin widened, and he nodded. "I guess so, yes. Plus, I can't resist the chance to spend more time with someone as captivating as you."
You rolled your eyes, but a playful glint danced in them. "You're quite the charmer, aren't you?"
"Only with the ones who matter."
After a moment of consideration, you nodded. "Alright. I'll stay with you tonight."
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The warmth of Touya's chamber enveloped you as soon as you stepped in alongside him, the crackling fire from a fireplace casting a gentle glow.
You tightened the robe around you, feeling a sense of comfort and vulnerability in this shared space. The flickering shadows played on the walls, creating a dance of light and shadow.
With a graceful movement, Touya began to unbutton his white shirt. The flickering firelight highlighted the contours of his physique as he revealed the toned lines beneath the fabric. He folded the shirt with a practiced ease and placed it gently on a nearby chair, the white contrasting with the rich hues of the room.
As he laid on bed, Touya's eyes met yours, a silent invitation lingering in the air. He reached out, pulling you closer, and you could feel the warmth radiating from his scarred chest. The touch was both gentle and reassuring, a gesture that spoke of a shared vulnerability beneath the layers of status and circumstance.
You nestled against Touya, resting your head on his chest, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall as he breathed.
As the quiet moments passed, the inevitable topic of Touya's departure hung in the air like a lingering shadow. You couldn't shake the feeling of sadness that settled in your chest, and the words weighed heavily on your tongue. "Touya," you began, your voice soft but filled with genuine concern, "I can't help but worry about what might happen when you leave. Shoto… He's unpredictable, and I'm afraid he might try to hurt you."
Touya's expression softened, and he let out a gentle chuckle. "You're worried about me, huh?" he said, his eyes meeting yours as he tilted your head by catching your face between his thumb and forefinger.
You nodded, the worry etched on your face. "I've seen the tension between you two, and with the things that have happened, I can't help but be concerned."
Touya's hand found yours, his touch reassuring. "Listen, Y/N," he said, his tone gentle, "I appreciate your concern, but you don't need to worry about me. Shoto and I have our differences, yes, but I can handle myself. Plus, I've got a knack for avoiding trouble." A small smile played on his lips as he continued, "And here you are, worried about your own captor, how amusing."
You blinked, a mix of surprise and confusion in your eyes. "I just don't want anything bad to happen," you admitted. "Despite everything, you've been kind to me, and I don't want to see you hurt. Is it so hard to understand?"
"I appreciate that, I really do," he said. "But you don't need to worry about me. Focus on yourself, okay? Things will work out, and I'll find a way to handle Shoto. Just take care of yourself in the meantime when I'm gone."
Then, with a gentle lean, Touya bridged the remaining distance, capturing your lips in a slow and passionate kiss. The world outside faded away as the warmth of the moment enveloped you. His lips moved with a tenderness against yours.
As the kiss lingered, it held the promise of both solace and anticipation, a silent affirmation that in the midst of uncertainties, there existed moments of connection that could be cherished.
Touya's kiss was intense, a fervent embrace that drew you closer, your bodies molding together seamlessly. A pleasant buzz filled his mind as your lips danced with his, and he felt the alluring weight of your leg draped over his muscular thigh. With a smooth motion, his hand descended, fingers curving to grip the soft flesh of your exposed thighs.
In response, your nimble fingers wove through his white hair, eliciting a soft groan from Touya. A sudden, sharp tug sent a gasp escaping his lips.
Impatience guided his hands as he skillfully unraveled your robe, allowing it to slide off your shoulders, revealing the supple skin beneath. The sight before him left him breathless. "Y/N," he whispered, the words barely parting his lips, "You're so beautiful."
Mounting him fully with newfound confidence, you recognized there was no reason for shame. As the realization washed over you, you deliberately shed your robe, letting it fall to the side, baring your body completely to his keen gaze. Your lips were gently caught between your teeth as his calloused hands found their place on your hips, a slow ascent following the contours of your waist, finally reaching your breasts. His touch was tender, cupping them lightly.
You captured Touya's bottom lip between your teeth, the kiss deepening as you almost drew blood. The resulting pain elicited a loud moan from him, prompting him to assert control - he swiftly shifted, flipping you onto your back, pinning you to the furs beneath with the weight of his hips and his hands firmly securing yours above your head.
A soft grunt escaped you, followed by a whimper that sent a jolt of desire straight to his cock; it was alreadyt tenting in his dark pants.
Touya's mouth found its way to your neck, where he suckled with a fervor that left an angry mark, destined to be a bruise by tomorrow. Your arms instinctively curled around his neck, and you gasped softly, welcoming the pleasant weight of his dominance and the enveloping warmth that surrounded you in the charged intimacy of the moment.
Touya emitted a gruff sound; the truth was, he hadn't been with a woman in years, and the enticing warmth of your body, coupled with your deference and moans, was stirring a primal desire within him. With practiced skill, he unbuttoned his pants with one hand, letting them slide down his muscular thighs. In a swift motion, he kicked them off, unveiling his well-endowed shaft that. A gasp escaped him as the room's air enveloped his throbbing member, causing it to pulsate involuntarily.
Soft, breathy sounds emanated from your lips now as Dabi moved his hips against yours, his throbbing cock damp and solid against the gentle skin of your hip. You responded by wrapping your legs around his firm waist, pressing against him in a mutual, fervent embrace.
"Y/N," Touya murmured, his voice a low, lustful cadence. He descended down your body, nestling his face between the soft contours of your breasts. Warm breath, coming in soft pants, caressed your skin, sending shivers through you. His touch worked its magic; your nipples hardened under his skillful exploration. Touya took one into his mouth, suckling softly, the flat of his tongue tracing a tantalizing pattern again and again.
Firmly gripping the sides of his head, you filled his ears with the symphony of moans, the sounds now unceasing. Your movements became more fervent, heels digging into his firm ass as you squirmed against him.
Touya emitted a gruff, almost winded grunt, his desire evident. His fingers ventured southward, sliding between your thighs.
You sighed as his coarsed fingers touched your soft folds, finding them heated and slick, just for him.
Whispering soft words in a language Touya couldn't comprehend, you gently tugged on his hair, bringing him closer to seal your lips in an open-mouthed kiss. The exchange of tongues was a dance, each movement syncing seamlessly. Touya, guided by your touch, positioned himself at your entrance, teasingly rubbing his cock along your wet folds.
A whimper escaped you, only to be stifled by Touya's loose hair that fell to the side, playfully tickling your face and finding its way into your mouth, causing laughter to bubble between you. As he rested his weight on your body, Touya applied gentle pressure to the front of your neck with his free hand, a delicate squeeze accompanying the sensation. Simultaneously, he drove his rigid cock inside your willing body.
"Touya!" A cry of his name escaped your lips as you endeavored to relax, attempting to minimize the inevitable discomfort of the initial contact. Despite your efforts, the pain was unmistakable, casting a shadow over the shared intensity of the moment.
Lowering his head, Touya pressed a tender kiss to your temple, his lips brushing against your skin. His voice, laced with reassurance, urged you to take a deep breath.
Your eyes widened, a sharp gasp escaping your lips as Touya fully immersed himself within you. Your hands instinctively fisted in the furs around your head as you arched your back.
Touya, grunting at the sensation of tightness enveloping his cock, propped himself up over your form, holding still for a brief moment. As your gaze met his scarred face, lips parted and breath quickened, you smiled softly.
Touya's hand remained at your throat as he initiated a deliberate rhythm, pulling almost entirely away before plunging back in. With each of his controlled thrusts, a soft, breathy noise escaped you, spurring him on. His focus shifted to your flushed cheeks and pert breasts, rising and falling in tandem with your breath. Droplets of sweat traced paths between his shoulder blades and dotted his forehead, a single bead descending from the tip of his nose to splash onto your belly, prompting a gasp from you.
He paused in his movements, fully immersed within your wetness, savoring the intimate stillness that enveloped both of you.
Your hands sought purchase, gripping his thighs and tracing your nails over the taut muscles.
Touya, attuned to your desires, comprehended the silent cue. With a gentle release, he withdrew his hand from your throat and enveloped you in the shelter of his powerful arms, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
A soft whine escaped you at the subtle shift in angle, and as your moan caressed his ear, Touya withdrew, only to return with an impactful force, spreading your pussy wide with his cock. The intensity of the thrust nearly compelled a scream from you, your fingers trailing up his sweat-slicked, scarred back in response.
Touya emitted a low groan as he felt the clenching warmth of your pussy around him. Pulling back, he thrust into you with unrestrained force, over and over again. His teeth found the red mark he had imprinted earlier on the junction of your neck and shoulder, and his body moved with a raw intensity against yours. Your moans, a symphony of passion, intensified the desire pooling hotly in his belly. "Fuck, Y/N," Touya gasped loudly though gritted teeth.
One of your petite hands clutched his thigh, the fingernails like slivers of hot metal leaving an impression on his skin. The other hand wove into his long, white hair, a firm grip offering a delightful blend of sweet pain to complement the intense pleasure of your velvety, gummy walls embracing his pulsating cock. The sounds of his hips colliding with the backs of your pale thighs, his grunts and groans, and the whimpers escaping your lips were the only sounds to fill the chamber, creating a sensual symphony that left Touya buzzing from head to toe.
The fusion of your arousal and bloo, the lingering traces of your virginity, a gift offered to Touya, had become so intense that it now adorned the insides of your thighs and the front of his abdomen, covering the vertical strip of white hair running from his belly button to his groin in slickness. The wet, squelching noises echoed softly as he withdrew and thrust forcefully back into you.
Touya seized your tender lips with his own, engaging in a fervent kiss. His teeth grazed your tongue and the corners of your mouth. Another sharp pull on his white strands forced his mouth from yours, and as you gazed into his turquoise eyes, you let out a tiny gasp. "T-Touya…"
The vice-like grip of your soft walls around his dick prompted a strangled moan to escape Touya, his eyes briefly shutting in response. When they reopened, your back had arched, pressing your breasts firmly against his scarred chest. Your head tossed back, and the hold you had on his hair had loosened. A moment of suspended breath passed before it was replaced by a whimper.
Touya emitted a drawn-out, deep moan, his brow furrowing as you fluttered around his rigid shaft, coating it in a palpable surge of wetness mingled with traces of blood. The sensation sent shivers down his spine, and he sensed himself edging closer to the brink of his own release.
"Touya," you breathed, touching his cheek softly.
He sighed, surrendering to the sensation as he kept moving, albeit at a slower pace.
"Touya," you asserted, gripping his throat firmly, eliciting a raspy breath from him.
His climax engulfed him hard, prompting a whine akin to a wounded animal as he thrust into you with every ounce of intensity, releasing his essence into your yielding pussy.
Your hand descended to press against his chest, and he rode the waves of pleasure, his head dropping forward, lost in the overwhelming sensations, his mind devoid of coherent thoughts. "Fuck," he snorted. "Oh, fucking shit."
Your hurried breaths slowly brought him back to the present, grounding his focus. Tenderly, he draped his form over yours, planting wet kisses along the side of your face, his flaccid cock still nestled inside your folds. As your legs eased down to the bed, your fingers traced gentle patterns across the skin of Touya's muscular back.
Once your breathing had steadied, and the sheen of sweat on Dabi's body had mostly evaporated, he rolled off you onto his side.
You reached up, pushing a few stray strands of mussed hair away from Touya's face, tucking into his arms afterwards.
Touya cradled you, his arms providing a secure embrace, and he sighed, the lure of sleep tugging at the edges of his awareness. Pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head, he murmured, "I didn't hurt you, right?"
You nestled closer, content, and mumbled, "I'm more than good, Touya."
Touya held you close to his chest, his strong arms wrapped securely around you, and he gently rubbed your shoulders. "Thank you," he said, the words soft and sincere.
With a slight frown, you looked up at him. "Why are you thanking me?" you asked, curiosity etched in your gaze.
Touya met your eyes and explained, "You're the first woman I've been with in many years, and I want you to know it wasn't just about… you know, getting laid. It just felt like the right thing to do, to be that intimately close with you."
You fell quiet for a while, tracing patterns on his chest and abdomen with your fingertips. Eventually, you responded, your voice soft and sweet, "Did I let you down with how inexperienced I am?"
Touya's head shook, the gentle curve of a smile on his lips. "No, not at all. It was perfect. You were perfect. I appreciate you letting me claim you as mine."
You blinked, propping yourself up on his chest, curiosity in your eyes. "What does it mean, being yours?"
Touya met your gaze and explained while wrapping a strand of your hair around his forefinger, "It means I want you to be my woman, but only if you reciprocate my feelings."
A blush crept across your cheeks as you reevaluated everything that had transpired between the two of you — from the day he took you captive after the tragic events in your village to bringing you to his settlement and making you a thrall. Despite the lingering anger and sorrow in your soul, you couldn't deny the undeniable spark in your heart whenever you were close to him, whenever his eyes met yours.
After careful contemplation, you silently agreed, the unspoken understanding settling between you two as you gave him a slight nod.
Touya, his grip gentle yet firm, pulled you to him by your chin, sealing the moment with a kiss on your lips. "You're a free woman from now on."
As he released you, you sat up, eyes glistening with a mixture of emotions. With a quiver in your voice, you asked him, "What does this mean?"
He met your gaze, sincerity in his eyes, and replied, "It means you're free, no longer bound as a thrall. You have your own choices now, including whether you want to stay in Skjaldvargr or not."
A chill coursed through your veins as Touya's words sank in — unfamiliar and unsettling, the concept of freedom felt surreal. Blinking in disbelief, you grappled with the weight of this unexpected liberation. It was as if a door to an uncertain future had swung wide open, leaving you standing at the threshold, torn between the familiarity of captivity and the uncharted territory of choice.
Despite the cold tendrils of fear that coiled within you, an overwhelming wave of gratitude and an odd sense of vulnerability washed over. You hesitated for a moment, then, as if propelled by the uncertainty of newfound freedom, you hugged yourself to Touya. Tears spilled into the crook of his neck, a mixture of relief, gratitude, and an acknowledgment of the tangled emotions within.
Amidst your tears, you confessed, "I want to stay. I don't really have anywhere to go, and, strangely, I've grown fond of Skjaldvargr." The admission carried the weight of your complicated journey, a fusion of sorrow, attachment, and an unexpected connection with the people and places you had come to know.
Touya nodded affirmatively. "Well then, you'll stay here. My chambers are now yours, and you are an outright member of the settlement and my woman," he declared.
Shivers of worry coursed through you as you voiced your concerns about how Touya's father and brothers might react to the unconventional decision of freeing a thrall and choosing to be with her. Your apprehension deepened as you acknowledged your own perceived lack of talents, admitting, "I'm just a mere woman, and I don't really have many skills… I can sing and play a harp, but…"
Touya, smiling softly, gently pulled you close and silenced your self-deprecating words with a kiss. As he broke the kiss, he whispered, "Don't worry about that. I'll make it work." His reassurance lingered in the air, a promise that he intended to navigate the challenges ahead and carve a path for the two of you, regardless of the judgments and expectations that might come from his family. Touya, holding you close, looked into your eyes with a tender gaze. "I see way past the talents and appearance," he admitted softly. "What captivated me was your unaware gentleness, the way you carry yourself, and the kindness that emanates from you. That's what truly matters to me."
"Thank you, Touya Endeavorson," you whispered, kissing his jawline.
He chuckled softly, the sound a soothing lullaby, and soon, the gentle rhythm of sleep claimed both of you.
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The next day, as the sun hung very low on the horizon, the warriors gathered for the final meeting with the earl.
Dabi, reluctantly torn from your peaceful slumber, pressed a kiss to your bare shoulder before gently tucking you into thick furs. He left the chamber, heading to meet his father.
In the meeting room, Shoto was already present, exchanging a cold smile with his eldest brother. Hawks and the other warriors formed a solemn assembly, awaiting the earl's words.
Natsuo stood nearby, eager to hear what their father had to say and to bid farewell to his brothers.
Endeavor's stern voice echoed through the hall as he issued orders to his sons. "Shoto, Touya, you depart soon. Ensure everything is in order for the journey. You have no time to waste."
Shoto, attempting to be the epitome of politeness, spoke up. "Father, may I suggest we also check the provisions and inspect the gear to ensure nothing is overlooked for the journey?"
Endeavor's gaze shifted to Shoto, a brief nod acknowledging the suggestion. "Very well, Shoto. Attend to the provisions and gear. Dabi, focus on the horses and make sure they are in prime condition. You leave nothing to chance."
Dabi, ever the stoic one, simply nodded in acknowledgment, the weight of his father's expectations settling on his shoulders.
The preparations for the journey became a meticulous dance under Endeavor's watchful eye, each son fulfilling their assigned tasks with a sense of duty ingrained in them by years of training and discipline.
Dabi meticulously checked each horse, ensuring they were in optimal health and prepared for the upcoming journey.
As he worked, Natsuo approached him, a note of concern in his voice. "Be careful, Touya," Natsuo said, his eyes reflecting worry.
Dabi, giving his brother a brief nod, adjusted the long, thick, black fur draping over his shoulders. "I'll. And you, keep your eyes open and make sure everyone is safe and nothing bad happens, understood?"
Natsuo chuckled at the protective tone of his elder brother. "Understood, Touya. Just don't go doing anything reckless."
Dabi flashed a small smirk, a mixture of confidence and assurance. "Reckless? Me? Never." Despite the banter, a hint of camaraderie lingered in their exchange, a silent understanding between the brothers in the face of the impending challenges.
Natsuo ruffled Dabi's stallion's mane, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I hope father knows what he is doing, sending you to a land we've never been to before."
Dabi, continuing to attend to the horses, looked up at his brother. "Apparently, he does. The journey doesn't seem as tough as it sounds," he assured.
As Dabi continued with the preparations for the journey, he turned to Natsuo and asked, "Take good care of Y/N while we're away, will you?"
Natsuo, puzzled by the mention of a name of their thrall, furrowed his brows. "Y/N? Why?"
Dabi smirked and explained, "I freed her. She's my woman now."
Natsuo blinked, a mix of surprise and amusement crossing his face. He smirked smugly, poking his older brother's shoulder. "Well, well, has my brother fallen in love with a woman!?" The revelation caught him off guard, but Natsuo couldn't resist teasing his brother about his newfound connection.
Dabi, his usually stoic expression now tinged with a mix of vulnerability and anger, confirmed, "Yes, Natsuo. I fell in love with her. Any problem with that?"
Natsuo shook his head, a reassuring smile on his face. "No problem, Touya. I'll protect her. You don't have to worry about that. Focus on the trip, and I'll handle things here on your behalf."
A sense of gratitude flickered in Dabi's eyes as he nodded, appreciating the support and understanding from his younger brother.
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Touya gracefully mounted his stallion, and Shoto did the same.
As they prepared to depart, Endeavor emerged from the Great Hall. "Bring back as much as you can, and scout around," he ordered, his gaze piercing.
Shoto, ever the dutiful son, assured his father sweetly, "Everything you said will be done, my lord."
They departed in unison, the rhythmic sound of hooves echoing through the settlement.
The horses moved one by one, a procession of warriors embarking on a mission of importance. As they rode, the figures of warriors and their leaders gradually vanished on the horizon, blending with the imposing mountains in the distance.
Dabi, throwing a final glance back at the settlement, silently offered a prayer to their gods for success on the mission. The vast expanse swallowed them, leaving behind the familiar and venturing into the unknown.
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You awoke alone in Touya's bed, the furs enveloping you in a warm embrace. Stretching languidly, you shifted, and a blush tinged your cheeks as you became aware of the remnants of wetness and slick covering your inner thighs. With a mix of shyness and self-consciousness, you decided to freshen up.
After cleaning yourself and running a brush through your hair, you prepared for the day. As a free woman with newfound autonomy, uncertainty lingered in your choices. Unsure of what to do, you settled on paying a visit to Hilda.
On your way to your friend, you were unexpectedly intercepted by the earl himself. Endeavor, a commanding presence, stopped you in your tracks. "Come with me, Y/N," he requested, his tone leaving little room for refusal. "I wish to talk to you."
Curiosity and a hint of apprehension danced in your eyes as you followed the earl, the path veering away from your original destination, leaving you to wonder what discussions awaited in the halls of the settlement's leader.
Endeavor, seated on his imposing throne, gestured for you to take a seat on the smaller throne positioned on his left side. Hesitantly, you complied with his request.
Endeavor's stern expression softened slightly as he began to speak. "Touya informed me of what transpired," he stated, and a blush instantly covered your cheeks, a mix of embarrassment and uncertainty coursing through you.
The earl continued, his gaze unwavering. "He freed you. I do not condone such actions, especially considering your status. You are not of royal blood, but as long as you make my son happy, I am inclined to respect that."
You nodded, a mixture of relief and nervousness settling within you. "I assure you, earl Endeavor, my intentions are pure. I mean no harm."
Endeavor, though maintaining his stern demeanor, seemed to consider your words. "Very well," Endeavor declared after a moment. "In such circumstances, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask the thralls, Hilda, or even me or Natsuo. If you prove your worth, maybe I'll look at you more kindly."
You promised not to be a bother but a valuable asset for the settlement. As the conversation progressed, you gathered the courage to pose a more personal question. "My lord, would you have anything against me fully embracing the worship of your gods?"
Endeavor's initial shock was evident, but after a moment, he smiled at you, nodding in acknowledgment. The acceptance of your desire to align with their religious practices hinted at a potential bridge between your newfound freedom and the intricate dynamics of the settlement. The unspoken understanding between you and the earl carried the potential for a more harmonious coexistence, provided you could prove your dedication and commitment to the settlement's values.
"You wish to step away from your Christian God and embrace our gods?" he asked.
In response, you nodded, meeting his gaze with determination. "Yes, earl Endeavor. I want to embrace the beliefs of this settlement, to become part of the community and honor the gods that are revered here. The day my village was raided, it felt as though my God had abandoned me," you expressed, the weight of that moment etched in the somber tone of your words.
The earl, after a moment of contemplation, surprised you with a geniune smile. He nodded, a gesture of acknowledgment. "Very well. If it brings you closer to this community and my son, then I will respect your choice. The gods, after all, have their own ways." Endeavor considered your newfound interest in embracing the local beliefs and, after a moment, spoke decisively, "I will take you to our seer. She will impart the knowledge you seek. Eventually, you may find yourself visiting Uppsala, a vital religious, economic, and political center in Svealand."
Your eyes lit up with interest at the prospect, and you nodded eagerly, fully intrigued by the idea of exploring such a significant place. Curiosity guiding your words, you asked, "Will I be able to go there once Touya returns?"
Endeavor, after a brief pause, agreed, "Yes, once Touya is back, we can arrange for your visit to Uppsala. It will be an enlightening experience for you."
You nodded at Endeavor, absorbing the significance of the upcoming journey into the settlement's beliefs and practices.
As you settled into the smaller throne, Endeavor looked up at you, a question lingering in his eyes. "Do you know where you're sitting?" he asked.
You replied hesitantly, "Obviously, it's a throne, my lord."
He chuckled, confirming your observation. "Indeed, it is a throne, but it holds a particular importance. This is reserved for the earl's wife, the queen of the settlement."
Your gaze shifted, and you asked cautiously, "Where is your wife then, my lord?"
Endeavor's expression softened, carrying a weight of sorrow. "She passed away after giving birth to Shoto, my youngest son."
You remained silent, acknowledging the gravity of the loss. "I'm so sorry for your family's loss," you expressed.
Endeavor waved his hand dismissively, as if to sweep away the weight of the past. "This is what the gods had prepared for her," he said, a touch of acceptance in his voice. "I miss her wisdom every day." He then looked at you, his gaze steady. "I let you sit here because, eventually, this place will belong to you."
You blinked, shocked by the unexpected revelation. "To me?" you asked, seeking more details. "I-I don't understand, my lord…"
Endeavor nodded, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "Yes." Endeavor leaned in, his voice lowered as he shared a revelation with you. "Since you are my eldest son's woman, it is likely that Touya will want to marry you one day." He paused, allowing the weight of his words to sink in. "And I have already chosen Touya as my legitimate heir. Once I am gone, he will take over the throne."
You were shocked by the revelation, and you whispered in response, "But from what I observed, I was fully convinced you would want Shoto to inherit the throne, my lord…"
Endeavor sighed, a mixture of regret and remorse in his eyes. He began to share the mistakes of his past, confessing to an attempt on Touya's life when he was a child, influenced by the wrong people. The consequence was the multitude of scars that adorned Touya's body, a lasting mark from a hot, boiling tar. "After all these years," Endeavor continued, "and witnessing Touya's growth, even though it was much harder for him due to his past and vulnerabilities, I have come to the conclusion that there is no other candidate for the throne than my eldest son. Shoto is full of passion, yes, but he is also very unsorted, having too many ideas and never fully indulging in anything but quick, meaningless affairs." The earl's admission offered a glimpse into the complexities of his decisions, revealing the burdens of the past and the intricate dynamics within the royal family.
As the revelation unfolded, a mix of emotions churned within you. The realization that Touya would be as shocked as you, having believed all along that his father saw him merely as a warrior, added a layer of complexity to the unfolding dynamics within the royal family.
You turned to Endeavor, the weight of the situation settling in, and expressed, "Whatever you decide, I will condone, my lord."
Endeavor's response was a smile, a gesture that softened his stern features. His rough, huge hand reached out, gently caressing your blushed cheek. "I think I'm starting to understand what Touya sees in you," he admitted. "You remind me a lot of my wife. You're very kind, and you seem to carry a wisdom I might not comprehend." Endeavor's gaze held a mixture of seriousness and earnestness as he spoke, "I ask you to be good to Touya. He deserves the world I couldn't provide him with."
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The horses moved steadily through the wilderness, Dabi and Shoto riding side by side. The rhythmic sound of hooves on the earth beneath echoed in the quiet expanse around them. Hawks and the other warriors trailed at a distance, granting the brothers a semblance of privacy.
Shoto, breaking the silence, turned to his older brother. "So, how is it to possess a thrall?" he inquired, a curious glint in his mismatched eyes.
Dabi, eyes fixed on the distant horizon, remained silent.
The younger brother, ever probing, continued with a wry tone, "Is she better than the whore you laid with before?"
Dabi's jaw clenched, and for a moment, he maintained his stoic composure. However, the barb proved to be too much, and he finally snapped back at Shoto, his tone sharp and cold, "Watch your tongue, Shoto. She's not just a possession, and you will treat her with respect." The intensity in his words mirrored the protective edge that had developed over the time he spent with you.
Shoto chuckled dismissively. "Why would I respect a thrall? She's nothing but our slave."
"I freed her," Touya retorted sharply, his voice carrying a harsh edge. "So she's not your slave anymore."
Shoto, not entirely convinced by his brother's words, chuckled again. However, when he caught the stern gaze from Touya, he groaned in frustration, relenting but not without adding a snarky, awfully bad comment under his breath. "Oh, brother, you've fallen so low that you bedded a thrall and freed her just because she was good in bed and made doe-eyes at you. Pathetic."
Touya, his patience wearing thin, warned Shoto sharply, "Don't say anything more about Y/N. I won't hesitate to hurt you, Shoto."
Shoto, unfazed and ever mocking, responded with a smirk, "Hurt me? Come on, Touya, you're just defending your little pet. I didn't know you could get so attached to a mere thrall."
Touya's jaw clenched, his restraint visibly tested by his younger brother's taunts.
Their exchange was abruptly interrupted by a loud howling in the distance, a haunting sound that echoed through the wilderness. The mournful cry carried an eerie resonance, adding an ominous atmosphere to the already tense scene between the brothers. As the sun began its descent down the horizon, casting long shadows and painting the sky with hues of orange and red, the howling persisted.
"Wolves," Touya said carefully, his eyes scanning the surroundings. "We should set up camp here. It's too risky to ride further."
Shoto, involuntarily agreeing with Touya, nodded in acknowledgment.
As the camp took shape, Touya decided to rest in his tent. Lying on the furs, he closed his eyes, allowing the sounds of nature and the quietness of the night to envelop him. The occasional chatter of their warriors echoed in the background. Touya's thoughts drifted to you, and as he drifted into sleep, he envisioned you through the canvas of his imagination.
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heathen wolves: @queenkhepri @indignant-alpaca @misafiryanki @roast-toast @within-eyesight @crystalwolfblog @haseki-huricihan @violet-forgetmenot @dagger-dragger @smartspot
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kaylopolis · 2 months ago
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Alastor's Shadow (18+) - My Fawn & My Shadow: Epilogue
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Alastor x F!Reader
Synopsis: There’s a new Overlord in town and it isn’t the Radio Demon. Six years after you fell into Hell, you have finally earned your seat at the table as Pentagram City’s newest and baddest and with the Extermination coming six months earlier than planned, it is now time to implement your ultimate endgame. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of power and chaos? Your plan brings you to the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel as Charlie’s newest Redeemer, but who you find waiting for you will not only turn your entire plan upside down but also challenge your grab for power… 
Tag List: Slow burn, rivals to lovers, eventual smut
Masterlist Link: Masterlist
____________________________________________
Dear Hoteliers,
Helluva Boss events take place after Apology Tour and after the most recent Helluva Boss short “Mission 4: Chupacabra.”
<3 Stay smutty
My Fawn & My Shadow: Epilogue
Content Warning: Self Harm, abuse, mental health, mentions of suicide
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Just Outside Levittown, Envy
Tom Trench: “Five years after 'The Massacre,' V Tower is finally being rebuilt!”
Katie Killjoy: “That’s right, Tom! The Sins of Lust and Gluttony purchased a 50/50 share of the building three years ago, but after a long legal battle with Lucifer Morningstar, reconstruction can finally begin!”
Tom: “Today marks a new era between Hell Natives and Human Sinners after the Sins won the right to purchase property and run business within the once forbidden Circle! What does this mean for the travel ban on the other Rings? What does this mean for the economy now that Hell Natives can run and own businesses within the Pride Ring? And who will soothe the King’s butt after it was kicked in court?“
Katie: “In other news, Massacre memorials are set to begin tonight…”
You clicked the radio off.
Has it truly been five years already?
Vox.
Velvette.
Crim.
The hundreds of Souls who all got in the way.
Carmilla who tried to stop you but died trying.
The THOUSANDS of Souls after who died for no reason.
Massacred.
Charlie tried to intervene, but Vaggie wouldn’t let her near you.
Rosie focused on getting everyone away from you.
Lucifer was hurt but thankfully lived.
In the end it was Angel who stopped you. Angel who knew the truth. Angel who told you to think of the baby…
Then it was Husk who carried you through the portal to this safe house where you still remained.
The Entertainment District had been leveled by the time you had finished.
And the red staining your fingers still hadn’t faded, no matter how hard you scrubbed.
It was the least you deserved.
Eve has been quiet since then, popping up for short moments of conversation and then disappearing. It’s almost as if all the power used to take out half of Pentagram City had drained her batteries.
Or…
Perhaps she had known that, after the destruction, you had truly given up.
No more Endgame. No more games in general. No schemes or plans or revenge.
You simply just wanted to be.
You would have ended it all had you not had a reason to go on.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Turning off the faucet, you start the kettle and head for the door.
“Tomatuh!” Rosie pressed a kiss to your cheek, her arms filled with supplies she often brought along despite your protests. Mostly food but sometimes gifts - clothes she made herself.
“Shh,” you took the goods from her. “You’re early, she’s still asleep.”
Rosie hesitated in the doorway.
“Is something wrong?”
“Well,” Rosie adjusted her gloves.
Something was wrong.
“Tomatuh, you know I love you and that little tyke.”
You raised an eyebrow. “But…?”
“Can I come in yet or what?” Vaggie stepped into the kitchen.
You grit your teeth. “Rosie!”
“Hey!” The moth demon stepped in front of the Overlord. Still the warrior she was created to be. “Rosie forbade me from coming but I pushed myself through your stupid portal anyway!”
“That portal,” You held your ground, trying to look as formidable as possible - which admittedly was more pathetic than you assumed given the state of your health. “Is for Rosie only. It is not to be used for gallivanting across the Rings!”
No one was allowed here save for Rosie. The portal opened at the same time everyday - automatic magic she helped you to set up. It opened right on the porch and closed the moment she stepped through.
For Rosie. It was too much of a risk for the others to know your location. They can be captured and they can be interrogated by Heaven. Rosie was a much bigger fish to go after than say someone such as Husk.
“Listen here, asshole! I’m here because Charlie asked me to deliver this personally!” The ex-Exorcist shoved a box into your chest. “The only reason she isn’t here is because she’s at home in our bed balling her eyes out!”
The box…
“Vaggie,” Rosie pulled her back. “That’s enough.”
…it smells like…
No. That can’t be.
“…so ungrateful for everything we did for you!”
“Vagatha, that is enough! Go wait outside.”
The forest after a storm…
“She didn’t mean it.” Rosie grabbed your attention.
Your fingers started to tremble. “Where did this come from?”
Rosie pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Charlie had it boxed up at the Hotel. Apparently they did some fall cleaning with all the new Hotel guests and Angel accidentally unboxed it.”
Oh, Angel.
“Charlie’s been a mess ever since. She insisted that be sent to you right away.”
Tears welled in your eyes.
“I think I’ll take my tea at home today.” Rosie pulled you into a hug. “I love ya, tomatuh. Don’t you ever forget that. Tell the little tyke I’ll bring her somethun’ special tomorruh!”
And then she left.
Leaving you alone with a piece of him.
Oh! What could it be? Eve materialized on your kitchen counter.
You didn’t answer. You couldn’t answer. Your entire body and mind froze, completely entranced with the box in your hand.
All of Alastor’s stuff had been boxed up and either moved to his radio tower or to Rosie. You forbade anyone from going to the tower - not that you yourself had returned to it since. Rosie has been there a few times to clean and check on the place but other than that…
“There were only a few things missing…” The package was wrapped in a thick layer of dust. The only evidence that the box had been opened was the few fingerprints around the edges. Angel's fingerprints? Charlie's?
You peeled the tape off carefully, afraid that ripping the box would somehow mare his memory.
"Holy shit," you collapsed over the box and sobbed.
Alastor's coat lay folded inside - the black pinstripe suit jacket he died in. Speckles of golden and red blood crusted the surface, the fabric ripped diagonally across the chest. Atop sat Alastor's microphone, busted in half along the pole.
Something inside your chest snapped as your fingers traced the cut.
“Mourir d’amour, vivre de haine…" You mumbled.
That’s what Alastor had said to you when he died.
Dying for love.
I miss him too. The embodiment of power leans over your shoulder and huffs. Eve was fun for a while, but I agreed with you. Her plans were small and easily fixed. I never even introduced myself to her. Then I met you, and your plans were extraordinary - I didn’t even think of making Heaven destroy itself. Then we met him. She motioned to the jacket. You fell in love with the man, but I’m why you fell in love with his thirst for power and chaos.
You rubbed the tears from your eyes, afraid of crying too loud for fear of waking the toddler in the next room. “I could feel his magic even before we met. That day I came to the Hotel and Sir Pentious attacked, I felt his static moments before he appeared. I always knew before he was going to enter a room and when his shadow was nearby. Others could not. We had a connection long before the deal we made atop his radio tower - a pull I could never quite put my finger on. I've never had that with anyone else, not even Eve. You’re the reason why I could always feel his magic? Why I had access to his static even though I voided the contract? Why I could summon static during the Extermination?”
Oh, no. She waived her hands. I have nothing to do with Soulmates and Magic Bridges.
“Wh-what?” You stammered.
Look I know things but my magic can’t do everything…
“No. Not that. Can you explain the Soulmate part?”
Wait. You didn’t know? Ha! Oh, my God this is rich!
You blinked. “But Angels don’t have Souls…”
She shot you a dumb look, And who told you that?
You shrugged sheepishly, “Dad?”
Ugh! She rubbed her face. How can you be so smart and yet so dumb at the same time?
“Hey!”
Angel’s have Souls, babe. Soulmates share their Souls. One Soul in two bodies.
“But why would Dad make me a Soulmate?”
Answer: he didn’t. He’s a dick. But hear me out. You have been so sad and so alone for so long, do you ever think that maybe you wanted it enough that YOU made it happen. YOU willed it into being? Your upbringing wasn't precisely the picture-perfect happy childhood.
“That’s insane!”
Oh, well. Excuse me. I’m just the Book of Knowledge, I don’t know anything.
“I made Alastor?”
No! Eve threw her hands in the air. You'd shush her but no one else but you could hear her. You made a Soulmate! Fate decided who. Fuck, girl. It took thousands of years to find him, not like the Soul just popped into a body and called it yours. The Soul is made and ripped into two, it’s probably been floating around the Ether waiting for him.
“Oh…” You fisted the lapel of the jacket, finding comfort in the feel of the jacket in your hand.
That’s a compliment. Some people get shit Soulmates. Sounds like Fate was picky with you.
That made you feel a bit better.
Wait.
“Why are you trying to comfort me? You never try to comfort me.”
It’s not comfort, bitch. It’s pity.
You rolled your eyes, “Thanks.”
Eve didn’t disappear. She sat back on the armchair and watched as you folded the jacket into a nice pile on the table. “What?”
The embodiment of power crossed her legs and rested her chin in her hand. Nothing. Just waiting.
“Waiting for what?”
For you to figure it out.
“Figure what…”
Why I'm pitying you with this knowledge.
Whatever...
You grabbed for the pieces of microphone left inside the box but accidentally knocked it off the table instead. The cardboard came crashing down along with the metal. It smacked against the tile, eliciting a wave if green sparks as the microphone came to rest a few feet away.
Holy shit.
… green static.
Oh, shit!
There it is. Eve smiled.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
That's not possible. Green static was Alastor's magic. Alastor is gone. Therefore, so should his magic.
But if his magic was still here...
Angel’s have Souls, babe. Soulmates share their Souls. One Soul in two bodies.
You looked at your hands.
It wasn't possible.
You grabbed the jacket and held it against your chest, letting Alastor's natural musk drown you in a sea of his memory. Of his hands in your hair. Of his cockeyed smile whenever his true self shined through. Of his laugh, absent of the radio static.
Blue flame lit up your right hand and in your left...
Green.
Holy shit.
“Wait but how do I…?” You spun, preparing a barrage of questions to through at Even, but just as you had figured it out, the embodiment of power disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Bitch.
Eve wasn’t going dormant, she was just ghosting you - literally.
But then again, you already knew where to start.
“Shit,” you muttered under your breath as you made your way to the bedroom.
You practically tripped over yourself as you flipped on the lights. “Mary Marie, it’s time to wake up.”
“Maman?”
“I’m sorry, my fawn, but it’s time to go.” You threw clothes into a bag, along with a few essentials such as a pink bedazzled hair brush and a singing toothbrush that played Verosika Mayday as you brushed.
The small child, previously tucked into her crib for her daily nap, rubbed the sleep from her eyes, “Mais, maman, où allons-nous?”
Flinging the backpack over your shoulder, you wrapped her favorite pink fuzzy blanket around her and pulled her from the crib. “We are going to visit Auntie Rosie.”
“No! My Angel!” She screamed, reaching for the stuffed animal in her crib.
You tucked the black cat into her arms and sped from the room. Perhaps one day you’d explain the irony to her, but today was not that day.
As you ran from the house, child in one arm and jacket and staff in the other, you felt small hands on your cheeks demanding your attention. “Maman, pourquoi es-tu si triste?”
You paused. “What?”
SNAP! The portal to Rosie’s Emporium cracked through the wall of reality.
“Why are you so sad?” She rubbed the tears from your cheeks.
You paused.
Were you still crying?
“I don’t know…”
You did know, but how did you tell your almost five year old that there was a chance - a minuscule chance but still a chance - that her father might still be alive.
And that bringing him back might kill you in the process.
She dug her small hands into your cheeks and forced the edges of your mouth up. “You should smile more, Maman.”
A sob tore its way through your chest.
Mary Marie Hartfelt was born 7lbs and 3oz in a beachside safe house outside of Levittown, Envy. Named for her grandmother on her father’s side, Rosie would tell you that she’s the spitting image of you but that was due large in part to her blonde hair and pale complexion. In reality, you couldn’t look at her and not see her father.
She had the same small tuft of red fur for a tail, which she hated you pulling, and a matching set of ears, which she demanded you scratched every night before bed. Her legs ended in red hooves that she loved when you painted pink - her favorite color - and her eyes…
She had her father’s red irises.
And her father’s temper. God forbid she didn’t get her way - she was a total spitfire. At least she hadn’t sprouted wings, the crawling phase was already too much to bear as a single parent - despite Rosie’s help. Actually the only time she calmed down was when Rosie came over for tea.
Chai - Mary Marie’s favorite.
She had her father’s appetite and her mother’s knack for weaponry. God forbid she get into any weapons unsupervised.
Her magic started showing early - most notably during her terrible twos when she almost burned down the house: electricity. Your blue fire plus her father’s green static gave birth to red electricity.
Thankfully none of the power from the Book of Knowledge seeped into her or impacted the pregnancy in anyway. Either Eve was quite attached to you or you got lucky - really lucky.
Hell have no furry like existence’s most powerful toddler throwing a tantrum.
That was your fault however. After the battle and the Massacre, Heaven was on high alert. Everyone now knew that God was missing and Mikaela Morningstar was a traitor. So, naturally, the story became that you killed God and were on the run.
If only the first part were true…
But you were on the run. Only Rosie knew your location - all communications had to go through her. Which meant you hadn’t seen Husk or Angel in years. They wrote you letters though and you wrote back (Vox was dead but you still wouldn’t risk a phone or television). Mary Marie even drew a few pictures for you to include.
What you didn’t tell her was that you ordered everything burned once they read it.
One day, when everything has calmed down, you and Mary Marie would return home.
Huh, funny how the Hotel was now home in your mind.
“I love you, my fawn.” You tickled her belly, eliciting the cutest giggle before stepping through the portal.
The day hadn't yet come when Mary Marie asked about her father, but you knew one day it would. She had seen parents during your outings and knew of relationships, but she hadn't fully grasped the concept that something was amiss.
Yes, you were sad - a lot - but, unfortunately, it was something the child had come to understand as normal. There were times when her mother would break down crying for no reason or days when she couldn't get out of bed when it was raining. There were songs she refused to listen to on the radio and recipes she'd spend hours in the kitchen trying to perfect: gumbo, Mary Marie was sick of it.
And, no matter what, she always wore her hair in a red hair clip.
Her mother was odd and always a little sad despite her smile but thankfully Mary Marie did not yet have to be burdened with the truth. Where was her father? Why did they always have to wear cloaks when they went outside? Why couldn't they meet any of mother's friends besides Rosie? Why couldn't she play with any of the other children?
“Oh, my stars!” Rosie was curled up on her couch, tea cup in hand, clearly enveloped in some book on her coffee table.
Right. You kicked her out before her daily tea time.
“Auntie!” Mary Marie jumped from your arms. Enveloped in her pink blanket, the tiny tyke jumped into Rosie’s awaiting arms.
“Hello, my sweet.” The Overlord hugged her back.
You threw her bags on the loveseat. “I need a favor.”
Rosie’s look of confusion turned serious, “Okay.”
Mary Marie played with Rosie’s collection of Build-A-Bones while you talked - creating small towers of remains which she proceeded to zap with electricity till they turned to ash.
Told you she was a spitfire.
While you told your tale to Rosie, you watched her look of concern turn to outright denial. “No!”
Mary Marie jumped at the sudden turn in conversation.
“Rosie,” you grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the other room, one eye still on the fawn as she returned to her undead masterpiece. “If there is even a small chance that this could work -.”
“And you die in the process?” She interrupted in a whisper. “You’d be robbing that beautiful child of both her father and mother.”
“I owe it to that child to try. To bring her father back-!”
“Is that what this is truly about, tomatuh? It sounds like you’re doing this for you.”
“Rosie-.”
“Don’t interrupt me.” She put up a hand. “This is irresponsible and based off of knowledge fed to you by her. Remember the last time you let Eve influence you?”
How could you forget? You took out half of Pentagram City.
You stepped back, your teeth clenched in anger. Not at Rosie, you could never get made at Rosie, but she was making it so easy to. “I’m doing this Rosie - with or without your blessing.” You nodded to your child, who was completely unaware of the happenings in the adjacent room. “Look after her, for me. Please?”
She huffed, “If Angel were here, he’d talk some sense into you.”
“Good thing he isn’t.”
Rosie stared you down for a long time, waiting for you to break, but you wouldn’t. You couldn’t.
“You know," she said, placing a hand on your cheek, her pupilless eyes softening. "I think of you like a daughter."
"I know, Rosie."
"I'm supposed to stop you." She smiled sweetly.
"I know."
"I'm not going to."
Your shoulders relaxed. "I know."
Rosie knows how powerful you are. She knew the day you practically fell on top of her that first day in Hell, and she knows now, even with tears in your eyes. She saw your resilience despite the countless days Carmilla tortured you. She knew your past and what you had come to endure. If Rosie truly believed this would kill you, she'd stop you.
Mary Marie had become her granddaughter - she'd never let that child come to harm. She'd never let that child lose a mother, but at the same time, she knew - she knew - that you had to do this.
You have been slowly decaying over the years. Alastor's death had taken its toll.
At the beginning, you couldn’t get out of bed. Save for the morning sickness and to use the bathroom. Rosie kept you alive, kept you fed and clean. If it wasn’t for this woman, who knows where you’d be right now.
Then Mary Marie was born and things got a little better - the days got a little brighter. Yet you still found yourself crying in the kitchen whenever jazz came on on the radio. Or felt your heart skip a beat whenever a man in a dark suit and fedora walked past. Or felt that you couldn’t go outside for days after it rained for fear of it smelling too much like him.
You could barely maintain weight as you found it hard to eat. Your muscle was long gone and eyes permanently sunken from the years of crying.
Everything felt heavier. The world felt heavier.
But you kept yourself going, your only function to be a mother, to keep the last bit of Alastor alive.
Yet, Mary Marie was a walking memory of him: a living ghost. Which made it all the easier to love her but all the harder to stay strong.
The Overlord dropped her guard. “If you somehow get your hands on the Grimoire to do this, and that is a big ‘if,’ be safe. If not for my sake, then for hers."
You beamed, the first time you had truly smiled about something that didn’t regard Mary Marie in years. “Thank you, Rosie!” You pulled her into a hug. “I need one more thing before I go.”
After the battle atop V Tower, Lucifer had taken your cloak - the one inscribed in Leviathan. At some point over the years, your brother didn’t know what to do with it, but he certainly didn’t want to keep it. Not after the destruction you caused at the Massacre. The cloak - along with your things at the Hotel that the Hotel Natives helped clear out - were sent to Rosie. You reclaimed most of it for your beach house in Envy, but what you didn’t use Rosie stored for you.
Including the infamous cloak which started all your Shadow Overlord business.
After a quick kiss for Mary Marie and a hug ensuring you’d be right back, you snapped a portal to visit an old friend.
“Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!” The imp dove behind his desk. “There’s a front door for a fucking reason people!”
The office was empty, save for Blitz sulking in his chair while he cleaned some sort of jewel on his desk. Where the others were at you didn’t know but were thankful for it. Normally this office was chaos and you really didn’t want that right now.
“Hello Blitz,” you pulled back the hood.
“Whaaaaaaaaat?” The imp’s jaw fell.
“I need the book.” Straight to the point.
His eyes narrowed. “Aren’t you supposed to be dead or something?” Blitz slowly climbed back into his chair.
Fuck, why did it smell like a barnyard in here?
“Not quite,” you took a seat.
When was the last time you did something like this? The last time you played the role of Shadow Overlord? When was the last time you donned this dusty cloak, sat lax in a chair, and demanded something of a Soul so nonchalantly as if it wasn’t important at all?
Did you miss those days?
“I need the Grimoire,” you repeated.
Blitz did not like the lack of explanation that you were giving him. His eyes narrowed. “Why?”
You clenched your fist beneath your cloak. That’s when you noticed the inter-dimensional gem sitting atop the table.
He doesn’t have it.
“How is Stolas these days?” You asked, running a finger across his desk.
The imp slowly pulled the gem back. You could literally portal across dimensions, if the imp thinks you seek a little trinket from Asmodeus then he wasn’t as smart as you gave him credit for.
“You know, bitch. You can’t just show up here making demands after all these years and expect us to jump when you say how high!” He jutted a finger out in your direction.
This was going swimmingly.
You stood. “It was so nice to see you again, Blitzy.”
“Fuck you, Angel bitch!” He flipped you off as you stepped through the portal.
Blitz is clearly pissed about something. Given that he now had an inter-dimensional gem and not the Grimoire, you were about to find out why as you knocked on the door of its owner.
“Gerald, if my dad Hell Eats one more pint of ice cream, just cancel the fuckin’-. Oh.”
Octavia answered the door.
You pulled back your hood just a touch and waived awkwardly, “Hey.”
And then she slammed the door in your face.
“Octavia, wait!” You practically jumped on the door, panic building in your chest. “Please! I need your help!”
Silence and then, “You left me!”
You blinked. What is she talking about?
“You dropped me off after the hospital and you left! I never saw you again!”
Oh… She means after Stolas told you off and forbade you from seeing her again.
“Your dad -!”
“I know what my dad said!”
“Then you know -!”
“Who cares what my dad said, that isn’t the point! I thought you were my friend, but it turns out you’re just like everyone else!” You heard feet stomping away.
Shit. Leaning against the door, you slowly sank to the ground. “I’m sorry. I know what it’s like to be left behind too.”
Great. Now what are you going to do?
You pulled the chain from beneath your shirt and held it between your fingers. Eve was right, Alastor was an emerald man.
Wrapped in gold as if rays of the sun, was a green emerald ring. You had thought it would be a ruby or a diamond, but green represented Alastor’s magic and that felt more suiting.
“I miss you so much it hurts.” You choked.
It had taken exactly one year before you could open the leather box Alastor left behind. You felt so guilty doing so, knowing it would never be his hand which placed it upon your finger. So, you never put it on, but you couldn’t let it go either. Thus, here it sat, hooked around a chain hanging over your heart.
“Octavia, is that my ice cream?”
SLAM!
The back of your head smacked tile as the door swung open.
“Oh, my,” A blurry Stolas put a hand to his lips.
“Hey, Stolas,” You grunted.
“Thestral?” Then his face fell flat. “Mikaela Morningstar. I thought I told you -“
“Wait!” You held your hands up. “I need your help. Please, just hear me out!”
The Prince took a look around, noticing the eyes stopping in the street to stare. “Come inside.”
One cup of tea and an ice pack later…
“You know, I don’t always harbor fugitives in my home.” The Prince stood astutely, one pinky feather out as he sipped from the fine china.
“I’m not looking for you to hide me.” You ignored the tea, the bubbles of anxiety in your chest too much to handle right now. “I’m looking to borrow the Grimoire.”
Stolas did not look surprised.
And then you explained why.
“… I loved him and he’s gone. If you had a chance to save someone you loved, wouldn’t you?”
Stolas eyed you, “And you’d be willing to die for him?”
You didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“This goes against everything the Goetia stands for.”
“I know.”
“Everything I’m supposed to represent.”
“I know.”
“Why are you asking me and not trying to steal it?”
You huffed. “I’m tired, Stolas. I’m so very tired.”
So tired your bones felt like led.
The Prince sighed. “I’ve always wanted that.” He placed the cup down gently. “I just... want someone to care, if I stay or go. I want someone to want me. To want to see me. To hold me. To look at me and think 'You're the only one I want! I desire to hold you and talk to you, and never let you feel so... alone…”
Ah, now you understood.
You placed a hand atop his wing. “I’m sorry about Blitz.”
And he lay his other atop yours. “Follow me.”
____________________________________________
You landed atop the balcony, a layer of dust parting in your wake.
The metal was absent of any signs of what took place here. You had Rosie to thank for that. She came by and cleaned up everything after…
His stuff was still here, but the curtains were drawn so you didn’t have to see any of it. You might break down again if you did.
Nothing’s changed. Eve materialized in a puff of black smoke wearing the same clothes she died in. The same clothes you killed her in.
You didn’t let your mind dwell on it too long. “Let’s get started.”
You drew the Circle of Rebirth in the same spot Alastor died - courtesy of Stolas' Grimoire. The Circle is a form of ancient and forbidden magic, guarded by the Goetia but not forgotten entirely. You vaguely remember hearing rumors of it from a time you could no longer remember.
Different from a Summoning Circle - which knew the recipient’s Soul location - or a Trapping Circle - which trapped beings of other planes within it (the same Circle Eve used to trap you in the airplane hanger a millennia ago), a Circle of Rebirth was meant to trap a dying Soul’s fragments so one could piece them back together.
Technically, that meant the person had to die while in the circle for it to work.
Do you get where I am going with this?
You stood, hand covered in red chalk, and talked with Eve as you finished up the final touches. “So, a Soulmate is of one Soul in two bodies. That means Alastor’s Soul did not fade when he died. I’m carrying it.”
But it’s also technically yours. Eve sat back against the railing, a smug look on her face.
“So, we do what I did accidentally all those years ago. We rip my Soul in half.”
I like it! Eve practically cheered.
And if it doesn’t work then you die… Cool. Okay. No stress at all.
You grabbed Alastor’s jacket and cane, and placed it on your lap as you sat at the center of the Circle.
Eve bent over so she was eye level with you. Are you ready to die?
You died five years ago when Alastor took that bullet for you…
“If I die, what happens to you?” You lifted a brow.
Hmmm, Eve thought a moment. There’s this adorable little product of power and chaos I’ve been dying to play with.
You saw red. “Eve!”
But before you had a chance to lunge, Eve melted into a mass of ink and began the spell.
A hurricane erupted around you, whipping your hair about your face and blinding you from the world.
It exploded into the sky, bringing with it lightning and rain. A cacophony of torrential pain fell upon you as the rain pelted your skin and the wind tore at your flesh.
It felt as if your entire being, every molecular connection, was slowly being ripped in half. Green and blue light exploded from your scar as your Soul slowly seeped out from your form.
Eyes filled with burning tears, you watched as the specks of green slowly floated away and collected into a solid mass before your eyes.
The mass slowly took shape, giving birth to arms and legs…
Power is of two kinds…
...and tall ears…
One is obtained by fear…
Details set in. Alastor’s face took form in a hue of green. His eyes… His lips…
And the other by love…
“Alastor?” You screamed over the wind. You screamed through the pain.
Power derived from love…
And then the ink set in. From the wind itself the liquid trailed into the blue, swirling about as if oil in water.
The demon smiled.
…is a thousand times more powerful than fear.
And then everything exploded.
____________________________________________
As if submerged in a river of silk, your body slipped away.
No sights. No sounds. No touch.
You were the world, and the world was nothing. Everything existed all at once and yet not at all.
You were the absence of existence, yet you continued to exist. Without form and body, you were consciousness as its birth and end.
You were dying.
If you had told yourself at the beginning of time that this is where you would end up, you would have said to yourself that you were nuts.
Before everything, you were a soldier. A general. A physical representation of God’s Will.
And everything was perfect.
Carry out missions. Train. Report. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. Existence was simple and predictable, but that's what you liked about it.
Then the beatings began.
You questioned it at first. Why did God only ever call you to his office alone? Why were you the only Angel with bruises and marks not born from war?
Why was he so angry?
Then the answer became apparent because he told you.
Everything that went wrong in his life was your fault.
YOUR FAULT.
Even if it had nothing to do with you or your missions… It was your fault.
Then you tried to control the uncontrollable in order to lessen the beatings.
Which just made things worse.
Because it was your fault.
You kept it hidden because you were ordered to. But also because it would have been embarrassing.
How could God’s General, leader of his armies and vanquisher of the Leviathans not even protect herself?
Things changed; you rebelled and ran away with Eve, thinking that was the fix you needed. You thought you had moved on. You thought you had healed. But trauma is a scar that never heals, doomed to rip open again and again.
There might have come a day when you had moved on. When God was cold and dead beneath your feet, and everyone who let this happen had been destroyed or long gone by the time you broke down Heaven’s Gate.
That was the plan at least.
Power and chaos and revenge… That was what was missing from your mantra: revenge.
But, here you are: a pesky story of revenge that went nowhere.
And now you’re dead.
And it’s all your fault.
You wonder what would have happened had you not met Alastor. Had you shown up to the Hotel that day and he was woefully absent from the cast, still in Heaven with Lilith - or if Lilith had never recruited the Overlord to begin with.
You wouldn't have Mary Marie...
Wait, who is Mary Marie?
You felt your thoughts starting to slip away.
Dying is confusing.
But painless.
The end of existence began creeping in, growing ever closer as if tidal waves on either side of you.
Thankfully, painless.
And you were okay with that.
"Not so fast, my doe."
____________________________________________
In an explosion of greens and blues, you were flung back. Your head hit the wall of glass with a loud crack, and your body scorched from the heat as the explosion dissipated.
The thunder ceased. The rain dried. The wind slowed.
Nothing but the silence of death filled your ears - is what you thought, anyway, but death had been painless. This was not death.
"Fuck," you groaned. The scar across your front burned as you sat up. The skin beneath your shirt felt fragile as if newly minted during the moments of your... hallucination?
And when the world stopped spinning, you froze.
A body lay curled in the fetal position, directly at the center of the Circle of Rebirth. Green steam floated off the figure, now wrapped in the black jacket he died in. In his hands, he held a microphone he often used as a cane, freshly made whole once more.
The demon groaned as words flew across his bare skin.
Holy shit.
"Alastor?" Hesitantly, you crawled to the Circle.
An ear popped up, turning in your direction as you stopped just at the edge.
"Alastor Hartfelt?" You reached slowly for his shoulder.
Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.
A sob tore through your chest. "It's me. It's..."
"My doe."
The next thing you know, you had arms wrapped around you and warm lips on your own. You sobbed into his mouth, the same familiar mouth belonging to the demon you loved.
His hands were soft as they cupped your cheeks, as the scent of the forest after a rainstorm filled your nose. His hair curled around your fingers, knotting itself as you plunged them deeper.
Alastor pulled you into his lap. Cocooning you in his warmth. He was always so warm...
The demon broke the kiss, catching his breath as he said, "Shed not tears for me, my doe."
Red irises glinted with tears of their own. A green "X" was now present between his eyes were the bullet once hit.
"You left me," you sobbed. Rivers of woe flooded down your face and soaked into his gloves.
"I did not." He rested his forehead on yours. The demon breathed, simply enjoying the mere presence of you. "I never left. I have been here the entire time."
You blinked. "What?"
"I have held you long into the night when you could not sleep and guarded you when you did. I was the shoulder you cried on when you needed to and dried your tears when you were done. I caught you when you crumbled and helped you find your feet once more. I ensured no harm ever came to you and no enemy ever found you." Alastor dried the tears on your cheeks.
"I have stood by your side every moment since that day." He went for the chain around your neck and broke it in two.
"I promised you I would never leave, and I did not. I have been at your side for the past five years." He unhooked the ring, and you watched as he slipped it on your finger. "You just didn't know it." The demon pressed a kiss to your hand. “Your personal guardian angel.”
Life flooded back into your body. "Alastor!" You flung your arms around the demon, burying your face in his jacket as you sobbed.
"I love you, my doe." He held you tight.
You shook your head, "Al, I am so sorry. It's all my..."
"Stop," He held your face in his hands, his claws brushing your cheeks. "Saving you was my choice, and I'd do it again, given the chance. Your death is mine to claim, remember?"
You chuckled. How ridiculous that sounded, given the current circumstances. "How could I forget?"
Pressing another kiss to your cheek, he chuckled.
God, you missed that sound.
With his hand in yours, you watched the words from the Book of Knowledge flow from your skin into his. "How is this possible?"
Blue fire erupted along your fingers, calling to his green static.
Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump.
Alastor's heart.
"My Soulmate." The demon's purr filled your chest with warmth. "That explains everything."
"I always thought it was an old wives' tale, something you told children at night before bed." You watched the green static dance across your arm, bending and moving at your will.
And the ink. The ink flowed along Alastor's jacket as if it were his own.
Long ago, you killed the Second Lady because she had tied her Soul with the power from the Book of Knowledge, thus tying it to yours. By splitting it in half, the two of you now share it, along with your original magic.
Power and chaos and love...
"Thankfully not." Alastor was solid beneath your touch. His breath filled your lungs with new life. His magic tore the weight from your bones. His heartbeat synced with yours and willed it back to full strength.
You felt reborn.
Al brushed the hair from your face, the warmth from his breath hot on your skin.
Alive. Alive. Alive. Your body chanted.
Alastor was alive.
The demon cupped your cheeks and tilted your face up to his. "Now, where is she?"
You scrunched your nose, "Who?"
The demon smile went cockeyed - a soft, toothless grin.
"My daughter."
And then the Radio Demon kissed his Shadow, marking the beginning of a very long afterlife together.
To power, chaos, and love, dear readers… 
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Thanks for reading, Hoteliers <3
-> Afterword
Tagged Hoteliers:
@sirens-and-moonflowers @wonderlandangelsposts @saccharine-nectarine @goyablogsstuff @mommymilkers0526 @eris-norwega @missgirlsstuff @alastor-the-radio-demons-blog @sillywormtrixareforkids @its-a-dam-blue-brick @cloverresin20 @blue-bird251 @speedycoffeedelight @littlebluefishtail @sawi1987 @mopeyghost @beelz3bub @fraugwinska @minamilinaqueen @demoarah @diffidentphantom @divineknightmare @animecrazy76 @sleepykittycx @graunta @reath-solia @satansdaughter123 @mysticatto @freshonyourpages @chibistar45 @rapunzelbro @stephydearestxo
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supersaiyanjedi14 · 4 months ago
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Artwork I commissioned from @rainbow-zebra-art of my Sabezra fankids, Brycan and Mazal Wren-Bridger! Thank you so much for this, RZ!
As a reminder for anyone interested, these two exist in my personal Star Wars AU, which is a hybrid of the Legends EU, Disney Canon, and other SW properties I want to squeeze in. I'll put some more specific stuff about them under the cut.
BRYCAN WREN-BRIDGER
Brycan was born on Krownest in 10 ABY, growing up in the immediate aftermath of the Thrawn Campaign. He grows up as a close friend of Jacen, Jaina and Anakin Solo, while also being super close to his "uncles" Kanan and Zeb and "aunts" Hera and Ketsu. Brycan is a kind and friendly boy who nontheless has a sarcastic streak rivaling his parents, and his passion for athletics and martial arts serves him well in his Mandalorian upbringing and Jedi training. Unsurprisingly, Brycan still grows up with a good deal of pressure, what with being descended from two cultural factions known for conflict with each other and being the child of two prominent war heroes. Determined to live up to his heritage while also stepping out of his parents' shadows, Brycan becomes a passionate Mandalorian warrior before enrolling in Luke Skywalker's Jedi Paraxeum on Yavin 4 at age 14. He does struggle to reconcile the contradictory aspects of the Mandalorians and the Jedi, but he does eventually learn to form a good balance with the help of his parents and Din Djarin.
The Yuuzhan Vong War puts Brycan though the biggest wringer yet, as the horrors of war cost him multiple friends and his mother is grievously wounded shortly after giving birth to his sister Mazal. He is roped into a faction of more militant Mandalorian crusaders who encourage him to give into his passions and pain, leading to a tense conflict with his father and a personal vendetta with the Vong commander Nas Choka. However, Ezra manages to save his son from falling down the dark path, and he rejects the hollow promises of revenge. He finally comes into his own as a Jedi Knight by wars' end, priding himself as a credit to his forebearers as a true Mandalorian Jedi.
Other notes:
-Brycan built his lightsaber in imitation of designs favored during the High Republic, featuring a physical crossguard below the emitter. Reflecting his mixture of Jedi and Mandalorian tradition, the crossguard is composed of solid beskar while his kyber crystal is an Adegan sapphire.
-Brycan is one of the most accomplished lightsaber duelists of his generation, mastering both the Shien and Djem-So sides of Form V as well as boasting a comprehensive academic understanding of numerous martial arts from across the galaxy. Thouhg he favors his lightsaber, he always wears a Mandalorian vambrace wherever he goes, loaded with a Dur-24 wrist laser, a fibercord whip, a portable energy shield, and whistling birds.
-Brycan's strength in the Force is easily comparable to his dad, though he appropriately focuses on the more physical aspects of his power. He's not as advanced a telepath as Ezra, but he compensates by being an awesome telekinetic and taking up a special interest in energy diffusion.
-While not as vibrant as his mom, he still inherited Sabine's artistic skill, particularly as a sketch artist. He can produce a nearly flawless rendering of someone in a heartbeat and has a talent for hand-drawn maps and starcharts. He occasionally cooks up new designs for his mom to try out.
-His best friend is Han and Leia's daughter Jaina, both of their natural fighting instincts feeding their desire to test and improve themselves. Sparring together is their favorite pastime, where they have traded wins and losses over the years.
-While a combat-oriented Jedi raised as a Mandalorian does raise some immediate assumptions, Brycan's passion for fighting is not as a blood sport. He sees it as a way of expression of his spirit, and he puts it to use for the good of others. He lives by the Form V maxim of "peace through superior firepower", wielding his skill to strike out at injustice and protect the innocent, not to flaunt his power. He doesn't go looking to pick a fight, but if fighting needs to be done, he is razor-keen and committed.
-Teenage rebellion and war trauma aside, he loves his parents more than anything in the world and adores his younger sister Mazal.
-Despite lacking Ezra's strong affinity for animals, Brycan does owns a Loth-wolf he rescued as a cub named Beskad (the mando'a word for "sword"). The two are nearly inseparable, though his efforts to mold Beskad into an oversized hunting dog have had minimal success.
MAZAL WREN-BRIDGER
Mazal was born on Mandalore in 26 ABY during the height of the Yuuzhan Vong invasion. Growing up in the shadow of the conflict, Mazal resolved to do her part to help put the galaxy back together after being nearly ripped apart. Like her older brother, Mazal initially wanted to become a powerful Mandalorian Jedi warrior, joining in the battles and adventures. However, this was shattered when she went on her first serious combat mission, helping in an effort to subdue a combine of pirates seeking to exploit the post-war chaos on Carlac. The mission ended in a horrific disaster, with the strike team being decimated in an ambush and narrowly escaping back to GA space. Traumatized by her experiences, Mazal found her previous passion lost, even considering turning in her lightsaber and throwing out her armor so as to never be stained by that violence again. Fortunately, Mazal received much-needed counseling from both Jedi Healers and more mundane therapists, and Sabine helped her daughter rediscover her calling. Feeling that the galaxy needed healing hands far more than warriors, Mazal was drawn to the ideals of the late Duchess Satine Kryze, seeing the value of promoting peace over the use of force. Taking up the path of a Jedi Healer and joining the reformed Mandalorian Protectors, Mazal channeled her passion into humanitarian aid, traveling the galaxy to help pick up the pieces of disaster and conflict. In a way, she does manage to become just as much of a Mandalorian Jedi as Brycan, albeit one dedicated to the higher calling of the Force and the more grounded tenents of the Resol'nare.
Other notes:
-"Mazal" is a Hebrew name meaning "good fortune". I chose this to fit a naming theme with her father Ezra as well as to reflect the safety of her birth given Sabine's injuries soon afterward.
-Despite no longer being a dedicated fighter, Mazal still keeps up on her training. She may not like fighting, but if the people she's helping need a lightsaber to protect them or Mandalorian armor to shield them, she won't hesitate to use it.
-Powerful in her own right, Mazal's Force abilities manifest strongest in her advanced skill in the healing arts, directly studying under Master Cilghal at the Jedi Academy. She also shares her father's sense-based aptitude, focusing on life-detection and projective telepathy to aid in her relief work.
-Unlike Brycan, Mazal is just as much of an artist as Sabine, constantly redecorating her room with new paintings and sketches. Her hair is her most common canvas, rarely going a month with the same dye job.
-Mazal is a self-professed daddy's girl; not even the Force can get Ezra to say no to her. At the same time, possibly as a result of having come so close to losing her and her mother, Ezra is almost overprotective of her, and was beside himself when she came home shell-shocked from Carlac. Sabine grows closer to her during her recovery period, and their time painting together played a big part in getting her back on her feet.
-She gets along well with Ben Skywalker, both being close to each other during their training. Outside of her family, Ben's the one she can confide in the most.
-Mazal is bi and dates Zay Versio as a teenager.
Feel free to ask me more about these two!
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hrizantemy · 2 months ago
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Staying anon bc I’m sick of the vile hate/threats I receive for liking both Nesta and IC, but I get if you don’t want to engage.
I personally feel that there is a portion of the fandom that is so obsessed with hating the IC that they end up destroying Nesta’s character over it. Like because Nesta doesn’t mirror their own journeys perfectly she’s been written wrong, but Nesta’s character can’t account for every single persons journey either. No character can. Or maybe people get so stuck in the fandom that they get so far away from the source material and what’s truly canon v headcanon.
I see so many takes that end up reducing her to this weak, spineless idiot afraid of her own shadow, and I just don’t see her character this way at all. And I don’t mean people who don’t like certain ships or characters or plots that are canon. I mean things like:
I see so many people talk about how Nesta is completely manipulated into the following: being with Cassian, becoming a warrior, going to the CoN to interact with Eris, training, etc when this is the same character that was so strong-willed as a human that a high lord’s glamor didn’t properly stick. The same person who TOOK something from the Cauldron, who made a death promise to Hybern. This doesn’t mean she can’t be scared, bullied or manipulated of course, but why is everything she chooses for herself questioned and dismissed by those “pro-Nesta” readers?
Another thing with her training: Nesta definitely doesn’t initiate the training with Cassian, but saying she was turned into a warrior against her will takes away from her effort, from the peace she starts to find in the exercise and control, but also her formation of the Valkyries. I’ve even seen takes about how Rhys probably planted the idea into her head so he could gain new fighters—can this woman have nothing of her own?
Every time I see a post about how the IC “were horrible to her for no reason” it always either downplays or blatantly disregards the way she spoke to others. Nesta IS a good person, but that doesn’t preclude her from purposefully harming others with her words and demeanor. She can use both like weapons and does when it suits her, often to her own regret: like against Elain and Cassian.
Nesta herself believes she failed her sisters, especially Feyre. Many posts use this as proof that SJM used SF to “remind everyone Feyre is the real victim again” but I feel like this is a very shallow take. I think it’s very telling of Nesta’s character that she went through so much but at her core takes a lot of blame for things that happened in the past. It doesn’t make it *true* that all those things were her fault, but she herself says she would have let them starve just to prove how terrible a father their dad was, and she hates herself for it. How compelling that she has to work through all those emotions and has to deal with *herself* as one of the biggest “obstacles” to overcome.
Nesta resents Feyre for doing what she felt she should have. Nesta didn’t hate Cassian—she couldn’t look at him because she blamed herself for all the Illyrians she couldn’t save. Nesta has to confront and forgive herself, the person who ultimately matters most. Anytime any other character comes close to making this realization (and I think it’s pretty wrong to say the solution should have been to “enter her mind and see”) she shuts down the conversation/changes topic.
I know ‘THE HIKE’ is controversial for so many people, but I also fail to understand how people got out of the book that all of SF was about making Nes apologize to other people (the IC specifically?), but when they talk about forgiveness and Nes says it isn’t that easy, Cassian counters that forgiveness isn’t just about others, it’s also about ourselves. He tells her not to worry about the past, apologize only to who *she* felt she needed to, and then move on. It isn’t about turning her into a personality type like Elain—Elain is probably the biggest outlier in the IC as far as personality types, because everyone else does have that edge and sharpness that Nesta herself has.
The apology she does have with Feyre is not drawn out. Nesta doesn’t know how to say the words out loud but she projects them enough that Feyre hears them—it’s a brief scene, interrupted even due to them dealing post Prison/Lanthys visit, but Feyre forgives her. It isn’t held over her head or made into a spectacle. Nor is this passage about Feyre at all; it’s about Nesta being comfortable in her own vulnerability and believing herself deserving of forgiveness, which is a step in her healing.
And don’t get me started on how other characters are said to be ridiculous for perceiving Nesta as a threat—she 100% is! She’s likely one of the most powerful characters we’ve seen and that’s without her fully knowing what she is/how to harness her power! And that’s her without using tools like the Dread Trove! When Rhys tells Cassian he’s scared of her, I don’t think he’s entirely joking. It’s what makes her coveted by a death god and also feared by so many. It undermines her to act like she isn’t powerful in her own right. It reminds me so much of how so many IC members have acted around Amren—even on their side, her power always *more*, and so were her emotions.
This turned into a ramble that’s likely not even decipherable, so I’m so sorry for that. I don’t even think I’ve made my point all that well at all at this point.
Hey anon, I get what you’re saying, and I do love Nesta! Let’s dive into this by focusing on how many of her so-called “choices” often aren’t really framed as her own decisions, and how that erodes her agency.
One of the biggest issues with how Nesta’s choices are framed is that even though she’s portrayed as a strong-willed character, many of her key decisions are driven by external forces, and that’s where people get frustrated. For example, her training with Cassian. Yes, it’s true she finds peace and strength through it eventually, but the entire setup feels like something imposed on her rather than something she would naturally gravitate towards. Instead of it being framed as a healing process she chooses, it can feel like a punishment or rehabilitation program handed down by others, like Rhysand and Feyre, for her “bad behavior.”
Similarly, her relationship with Cassian, while developed over time, often comes across as something she’s pushed into rather than something she fully embraces. It’s hard to shake the feeling that Nesta was manipulated or nudged into the role of Cassian’s mate, especially when their bond doesn’t initially come from a place of mutual respect or understanding but is mired in a lot of unresolved tension and pain. So, while the narrative may want us to believe Nesta is choosing this relationship, there’s a strong argument that she’s reacting to external pressures rather than truly embracing it of her own volition.
The Court of Nightmares scene is one of the most frustrating moments for me, especially when you take into account everything we know about Nesta’s trauma. Rhysand, who is supposed to be this paragon of empathy and understanding, knew what she had gone through. He knew she was groomed, they had a whole discussion about it. Nesta’s trauma wasn’t just a side note—it was a key part of her character development. Rhysand was well aware of the depth of it, and still, somehow, the solution to dealing with Eris and the Court of Nightmares involved forcing her into that role. The manipulation that occurs in this scene highlights just how little Rhysand actually considered Nesta’s well-being, despite what he claims.
What makes it worse is how Feyre steps in to protect Elain from having to take on that role, because Elain is “too gentle” for something like that. So, because Elain is shielded from having to navigate the dangerous, humiliating space of the Court of Nightmares, it falls onto Nesta? Why is Nesta seen as more expendable in that situation? Just because Nesta is strong-willed and outwardly abrasive doesn’t mean she isn’t carrying immense scars. The fact that Feyre didn’t protect her the way she protected Elain is a major slap in the face, especially when it’s Feyre who knows the toll trauma can take on someone.
It’s clear they all know what kind of emotional damage this role could inflict—after all, that’s the entire reason Elain is kept out of it. Yet it’s Nesta who is pushed forward, almost as if her resilience makes her more disposable, or as if her sharp edges make it easier for people to ignore the vulnerability beneath them. They choose to overlook her history, or worse, to ignore it, because it’s convenient to their plans. There’s something deeply unsettling about that.
To me, this moment highlights the hypocrisy of Rhysand and the Inner Circle. They claim to understand trauma, but only when it aligns with their agenda. They protect Elain and Feyre, but Nesta? She’s strong enough to be thrown to the wolves, right? It’s as if because she presents herself as powerful, she’s expected to endure anything—whether she consents to it or not. This scene strips Nesta of her agency and disregards the very real consequences of trauma in a way that I just can’t reconcile with the supposed moral high ground the Inner Circle often claims to stand on.
In the end, it feels like Nesta was sacrificed to serve the larger narrative of Rhysand’s plan and the Court’s needs, and not given the care or respect her trauma deserved. It’s hard to forgive the fact that everyone involved—especially Rhysand, who knew better—was complicit in putting her in a situation that mirrored the very experiences that left her scarred in the first place. That level of disregard for her emotional state is what makes this scene such a huge problem.
When it comes to Nesta’s attitude toward the Inner Circle, it’s important to acknowledge that she wasn’t the one to initiate the hostility. So many people paint Nesta as this unprovoked villain, but when you look at the interactions closely, you realize that the members of the Inner Circle were often the ones who antagonized her first.
Take Cassian, for instance. He constantly pushed Nesta, both physically and emotionally, right from the start. He knew how to push her buttons, provoke reactions, and he did so repeatedly. While some people might interpret their dynamic as “banter” or tension-filled chemistry, it often crossed a line, especially considering the rawness of what Nesta was dealing with. Cassian would instigate, and when she defended herself or lashed out, she was blamed for being difficult or ungrateful. But was she really supposed to just sit back and take it?
Then there’s Rhysand, who from the beginning didn’t give Nesta any respect. He dismissed her, judged her, and made it clear he didn’t think much of her, all while pretending to be this morally superior, understanding figure. Nesta wasn’t rude to him out of nowhere—she responded to the disdain he had for her. He didn’t even try to understand where she was coming from. Instead, he and the rest of the Inner Circle labeled her as a problem before ever giving her a chance.
Even Mor, who is so often praised for her compassion, was quick to judge and show disdain for Nesta. Mor made her distaste for Nesta known, often using passive-aggressive or outright rude comments to make her feelings clear. And again, Nesta reacted in kind. When someone is constantly on the receiving end of that kind of treatment, it’s only natural to put up walls and defend yourself.
Feyre is a more complicated case because there is love between them, but even then, Feyre often overlooked how the Inner Circle treated Nesta. She prioritized her relationship with Rhysand and the group over standing up for her sister when it mattered. Feyre may not have been overtly antagonistic, but her inaction spoke volumes. She allowed the others to treat Nesta poorly, and by doing so, she contributed to the hostile dynamic.
So when people say Nesta was always rude or difficult with the Inner Circle, I think it’s essential to point out that her responses were largely defensive. They were the ones who set the tone of their relationship with her, and Nesta simply reacted to the treatment she received. It’s a classic case of people pushing someone to their limits and then acting shocked when they defend themselves. Nesta’s attitude wasn’t unprovoked—it was a shield against a group that never gave her a real chance to be part of their world.
The dynamic between Nesta and Feyre in ACOSF feels unnecessarily drawn out, especially when you look back at how things were left between them at the end of ACOTAR. By that point, Feyre had already forgiven Nesta. When Feyre came home for that brief period before Under the Mountain, she wasn’t holding a grudge anymore. She even acknowledged that her sisters, especially Nesta, were products of their difficult upbringing and circumstances. Feyre had moved on, at least emotionally, from the hurt Nesta had caused. The tension between them wasn’t as deep from Feyre’s side as it was from Nesta’s.
So, by the time we get to ACOSF, it feels like the conflict between the two is dragged out far longer than necessary, especially when it’s framed as Nesta needing to apologize or make amends with Feyre. Feyre’s forgiveness was already established—she had forgiven Nesta quietly and without fanfare. She wasn’t holding that grudge over Nesta’s head or demanding an apology. And yet, the narrative makes it seem like this massive, unresolved issue, as if Feyre was waiting for some grand reconciliation. But really, it was never about Feyre needing that closure; it was Nesta who needed to forgive herself.
Nesta’s self-loathing and guilt over her past actions were the real barriers to their relationship, not Feyre’s forgiveness. But because the story keeps circling back to this idea that Nesta needs to mend things with her sisters, it makes the resolution of their relationship feel drawn out. Feyre didn’t need Nesta to grovel or beg for forgiveness, but the narrative almost sets it up as if she did. Feyre had already come to terms with their past, but the focus on Nesta’s need for self-forgiveness and the process she had to go through made it feel like Feyre was somehow still waiting for an apology.
At the heart of it, Nesta’s journey was about coming to terms with herself. The real issue was that Nesta couldn’t forgive herself for what she saw as her failures—failing Feyre, failing her family, and failing in her life. That’s an important story to tell, but the way it’s wrapped up in Feyre’s narrative makes it feel like Feyre is still central to Nesta’s healing, when in reality, Feyre’s forgiveness had already been given. This mismatch between what Feyre actually needed from Nesta and what the narrative focused on makes the conflict between them feel unnecessarily prolonged.
Instead of allowing the story to focus more on Nesta’s internal battle with her own guilt and self-worth, it keeps circling back to her relationship with Feyre, making it seem like that was the key conflict that needed to be resolved. In truth, Feyre wasn’t waiting for some grand apology—she had already moved on, and what needed to happen was Nesta finding her own peace. But the emphasis on their relationship makes it feel like the resolution dragged on when, from Feyre’s perspective, it was already over.
The hike in A Court of Silver Flames is one of the most controversial moments in the book, and for good reason. Many readers defend it as part of Nesta’s “journey” toward healing and growth, but when you look at the scene closely, it becomes clear that this was not about helping her—it was about punishing her. Cassian even says as much, explicitly calling it a punishment, and that’s where the problem lies.
Let’s break it down: Nesta is already emotionally and physically exhausted, having been pushed to her limits time and time again throughout the story. The hike is positioned as this ultimate test of endurance and discipline, something that’s supposedly going to help her in her path toward healing. But from the outset, it doesn’t feel like it’s for her benefit—it feels punitive. Cassian acknowledges that it’s a punishment, and this is where the power dynamics get really problematic. Nesta is put in a situation where she has no choice, and it’s framed as a necessary challenge for her to “prove” something, but what exactly is she proving here? Her physical strength? Her ability to endure pain?
The entire setup strips her of agency, and that’s not how healing or self-discovery should work. It’s one thing to push someone to face their fears or help them break through emotional barriers, but it’s another to force them into a physically grueling task as a form of punishment for their perceived shortcomings. Nesta was being punished for not fitting into the mold that Cassian and the rest of the Inner Circle wanted her to fit into. She wasn’t training on her own terms or exploring her own boundaries—she was being forced into this hike as a way to “break” her down and reshape her.
And Cassian saying it’s a punishment only reinforces this. If the goal was truly to help Nesta heal, to help her find strength and control in her own way, then why was it framed as punishment? Punishment isn’t about growth; it’s about control. Nesta didn’t need to be broken down further—she was already in a place where she felt broken and lost. What she needed was support, understanding, and a safe space to rebuild herself. Instead, she was given a hike designed to physically and emotionally exhaust her under the guise of “tough love.”
People often argue that this hike was necessary for her transformation, but I see it as a form of abuse. Nesta didn’t ask for this, and she wasn’t in a mental or emotional place to handle it in a healthy way. It wasn’t about empowerment—it was about forcing her to fit into a role she wasn’t ready to take on. Cassian’s framing of it as a punishment only highlights the imbalance of power in their relationship and the way the Inner Circle treats Nesta. They constantly push her, punish her, and then expect her to come out the other side grateful for it, when in reality, it was just another way for them to control her.
Healing and growth shouldn’t come through punishment. They come through support, agency, and self-reflection. The hike stripped all of that away from Nesta and forced her into a situation where she had no choice but to endure, not for her own sake, but to appease the people around her. In that context, it’s hard to see the hike as anything other than abusive.
Nesta being perceived as a threat is one of the most compelling aspects of her character, and it’s something that the narrative acknowledges, but with a strange double standard. There’s no denying that Nesta is a force to be reckoned with—her power is raw, unbridled, and tied to death itself, making her a uniquely dangerous figure in a world where power dynamics are constantly shifting. Rhysand even admits to Cassian that he’s scared of her, and others in the Inner Circle are visibly uneasy around her. But what stands out is how differently Nesta is treated for being a threat compared to her sisters, Feyre and Elain, who are also incredibly powerful in their own right.
Feyre, for example, is High Lady of the Night Court. She has access to all the powers of the High Lords, including shaping the world around her with her abilities. Feyre’s potential is enormous, but she’s never seen as a threat in the same way Nesta is. Instead, she’s revered and protected. Her power is something the Inner Circle wants to nurture, and while Rhysand and the others acknowledge how powerful she is, there’s a clear distinction in how her abilities are framed—they are viewed as something beneficial, something to celebrate and protect.
Then there’s Elain, who, despite her softer demeanor, possesses the Sight and could be one of the most dangerous players on the board if her powers were fully developed. Prophecy and foresight are incredibly potent abilities, especially in a world filled with political intrigue and constant warfare. Elain is not a fighter, but her potential threat comes from the fact that she can see things others cannot. Still, like Feyre, no one treats her as dangerous. She is often protected, shielded, even infantilized, because of her gentleness, as though her power doesn’t warrant the same fear or concern.
But when it comes to Nesta, it’s a completely different story. Nesta’s power is terrifying because it’s not understood—she’s tied to the Cauldron, a force of creation and destruction, and she’s taken something from it, something tied to death. But it’s not just her magic that makes her a threat; it’s her will, her sharp tongue, her refusal to bend to the Inner Circle’s expectations. She is someone who resists control, and that, more than anything, seems to scare them. Feyre and Elain are seen as threats, but their power is either useful (in Feyre’s case) or something to be handled delicately (in Elain’s case). Nesta’s power, however, is something they want to suppress, to control, because she doesn’t fit neatly into the mold they expect.
This double standard is glaring. Why is it that Nesta, who has no more control over her power than Feyre or Elain, is treated like a walking time bomb, while her sisters are coddled or revered? Part of it comes down to Nesta’s personality—she’s not interested in being controlled or guided, which makes her harder to manipulate. Feyre has Rhysand, and Elain has people like Azriel and her sisters to protect her, but Nesta has always stood alone, which makes her power feel more unpredictable and, therefore, more dangerous to those around her.
The fear of Nesta’s power isn’t just about what she can do with her magic—it’s about who she is. She represents a challenge to the established order, not just in the court but in her personal relationships. Nesta doesn’t care about appeasing others, and that, coupled with her immense power, makes her a genuine threat. But this fear isn’t fair. Feyre and Elain are just as dangerous in their own ways, yet no one is looking to break them down or strip them of their autonomy the way they try to do with Nesta.
Ultimately, the treatment of Nesta as a threat says more about the people around her than it does about her. Her power is feared because it can’t be easily controlled, but it’s also tied to the fact that Nesta refuses to play by the rules. She’s a reminder that true power isn’t just about magic or strength—it’s about the will to use it on your own terms. Feyre and Elain may have their own incredible abilities, but the difference is that Nesta’s power is something no one else can claim, manipulate, or contain, and that’s why she’s seen as the greatest threat of them all.
I don’t mind rambling at all—in fact, I think it’s a great way to explore and unpack complex thoughts and feelings about characters, relationships, and storylines. Everyone brings their own perspective to the table, and that’s part of what makes discussing books and fandoms so interesting. These are just my views on things, and I don’t expect everyone to agree. We all experience stories in different ways depending on our own life experiences, preferences, and what resonates with us most. So, while I might have strong opinions about certain characters or plot points, I definitely welcome other interpretations. Sharing these different views only makes the conversation more engaging, and it’s always interesting to hear how others interpret the same scenes or dynamics. Feel free to dive into any topic, and don’t worry if it turns into a ramble—I’m here for it!
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datcloudboi · 11 months ago
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List of Video Games Turning 10 Years Old in 2024
Alien: Isolation
Assassin's Creed: Rogue (the one where you play as an Assassin turned Templar.)
Assassin's Creed: Unity (the one set during the French Revolution.)
Atelier Escha & Logy: Alchemists of the Dusk Sky
Azure Striker Gunvolt
The Banner Saga
Bayonetta 2
The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth
BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea (the DLC where you go back to Rapture)
A Bird Story (a sort of spin-off of "To the Moon")
BlazBlue: Chrono Phantasma
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel! (is this a sequel to 1 or a prequel to 1? I forgor)
Bravely Default (in North America)
Broken Sword 5: The Serpent's Curse
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare (the one with K*vin Sp*cey)
Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 (to date, the last new Castlevania game to release)
Child of Light
The Crew (going offline at the end of March)
D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die (a wonderfully strange game from the guy that made Deadly Premonition)
Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (in North America)
Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair (in North America)
Dark Souls II
Deception IV: Blood Ties
Demon Gaze
Diablo III: Reaper of Souls
Disney Infinity 2.0
Divinity: Original Sin (from the team that would go on to make Baldur's Gate 3)
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze
Dragon Age: Inquisition (the winner of GOTY at the very first TGAs)
Drakengard 3
Earth Defense Force 2025 (EDF! EDF! EDF!)
The Evil Within (from the creative director of Resident Evil)
Fable Anniversary
Fairy Fencer F
Far Cry 4
Freedom Planet
Guilty Gear Xrd Sign
Hyrule Warriors
Inazuma Eleven (in North America. And digital only.)
Infamous: Second Son (as well as its expansion, First Light)
Kirby: Triple Deluxe
The Last of Us Remastered (just one year after the original version came out...)
The Legend of Korra (the game from PlatinumGames that you can't buy anymore)
Lego Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
Lego The Hobbit
The Lego Movie Videogame
Lethal League (from the team that would go on to make Bomb Rush Cyberfunk)
Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII (the third and final chapter of the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy)
Lisa: The Painful (yes, really)
LittleBigPlanet 3
Lords of the Fallen (not to be confused with Lords of the Fallen, which came out in 2023)
Mario Golf: World Tour
Mario Kart 8 (the original version)
Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes (the prologue to Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, which came out 18 months later)
Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor
Might & Magic X: Legacy
Murdered: Soul Suspect (it's like Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, but not as good)
Natural Doctrine
Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty! (a from the ground up remake of the first Oddworld game from 1997)
Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures 2 (yes, it got a sequel. I don't know how or why.)
Persona 4 Arena Ultimax
Persona Q: Shadow of the Labyrinth
Pokemon Omega Ruby & Pokemon Alpha Sapphire
Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy (the last time that Professor Layton himself was the protagonist. At least, until the New World of Steam comes out)
Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Pushmo World
Risen 3: Titan Lords
Sacred 3
Samurai Warriors 4
Shadowrun: Dragonfall
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse (the 3rd one)
Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments
Shovel Knight (yes, really)
Skylanders: Trap Team (the 4th one)
Sniper Elite III
Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric
Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal
South Park: The Stick of Truth
Steins;Gate (in North America)
Strider (the one from Double Helix)
Sunset Overdrive
Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and Nintendo 3DS (or Smash 4 for short)
Tales of Xillia 2
Tales of Hearts R
The Talos Principle
Theatrhythm Final Fantasy: Curtain Call
Thief (the reboot)
This War of Mine
Toukiden: The Age of Demons
Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark (this game merged the storyline of the War for/Fall of Cybertron games with the storyline of the Michael Bay movies. I’m not joking)
Transistor
Valiant Hearts: The Great War
The Vanishing of Ethan Carter
The Walking Dead: Season Two
Wasteland 2
Watch Dogs
The Witch and the Hundred Knight
The Wolf Among Us (sequel this year!)
Wolfenstein: The New Order
Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z
Yoshi's New Island
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attichaos · 2 years ago
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Rune Meanings
These are a few keywords and themes for rune symbols along with their modern alphabet equivalents.
*longer read*
Ansuz - Message, A
God, Ancestors, Revelation, Signs, Visions, Insight, Message, Knowledge, Communication
Berkana - Birch, B
Earth Mother, Birth, Fertility, Growth, Renewal, New beginnings, Creation, New projects, Creativity
Kaunaz - Torch, C/K/Q
Fire, Knowledge, Enlightenment, Comprehension, Insight, Illumination, Calling, Purpose, Idea
Dagaz - Dawn, D
Intuition, Light Within, Day, Awakening, Consciousness, Clarity, Hope, Balance, Growth, New cycles
Ehwaz - Horse, E
Twin Gods, Relationships, Progress, Movement, Harmony, Trust, Loyalty, Friendship, Assistance, Duality, Animal instincts
Fehu - Wealth, F
Wealth, Mother Rune, Abundance, Luck, Hope, Prosperity, Fortune
Gebo - Gift, G
Divine Interaction, Generosity, Partnership, Gifts, Talents, Charity, Service, Assistance, Luck, Fortune
Hagalaz - Hail (as in the type of weather), H
Transformation, Egg of Life, Destruction, Natural wrath, Uncontrolled forces, Testing, Change, External input
Isa - Ice, I
Cosmic Coherence, Suspension, Delay, Stillness, Frustration, Blocks, Pause, Waiting
Jera - Harvest, J
Earth, Right Action, Year, conclusion, Life cycle, Endings and beginnings, Abundance, Learnings, Growth
Laguz - Lake, L
Fertilty, Living Renewal, Water, Intuition, Imagination, Healing, Dreams, Mysteries, Insight, Instinct, Knowing
Mannaz - Man, M
Divine Union Manifestation, Humanity, Collective, Mortality, Community, Relationships, Morals, Values
Nauthiz - Neccesity, N
Needs, Friction, Shadow, Restriction, Disagreements, Resistance, Survival, Lacking
Othila - Heritage, O
Genetics, Legacy, inheritance, Spiritual growth, Abundance, Values, Contribution
Peorth - Destiny, P
Divination, Luck, Primal law, Fate, Mysteries, Occult, Feminine fertility, Chance, Fortune, Mysticism, Unknown
Raido - Journey, R
Solar Chariot, Rhythm, Progress, Movement, Evolution, Perspective, Journey, Travel
Sowulo - Sun, S
Thunderbolt, Wheel of Power, Success, Vitality, Inspiration, Justice, Success, Joy, Happiness, Abundance
Teiwaz - Victory, T
Masculine Gods, Warrior Rune, Leadership, Rationality, Honour, Bravery, Courage, Strength, Perseverance, Endurance
Uruz - Power, U
Primal Creative Force, Gateway, Strength, Endurance, Health, Courage, Vigour, Vitality, Force, Perseverance
Wunjo - Joy, V/W
Kinship, Heritage, Joy, Pleasure, Feast, Celebration, Comfort, Belonging, Community, Success, Festivities
Thurisaz - Thor, X, th
Protection, Polarity, Regeneration, Defence, Challenge, Danger, Attack, Strength
Eiwaz - Yew, Y
Tree of Life, Dreaming, Magic, Connection, Inspiration, Endurance, Sacred knowledge, Protection, Life cycles, Divinity
Algiz - Elk, Z
Divine Protection, Sanctuary, Protection, Guardian, Awakening, Courage, Defence, Instincts
Inguz - Fertility, NG
True Love, Music, Harmony, Fertility, Virility, Inner growth, Virtue, Peace, Harmony
Merry meet,
Atti <3
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starspice-y · 5 months ago
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Amigo! I come with a random questions! Do you actually have a TFP Optimus figure? (They're so rare 😭😭) Do you have any Transformer figures? Can we see them if so?
Have a wonderful day ♥️
I DO!!!! I HAVE MANY!!!
I'll share the Grand Tour of all my silly robot collection because I got the tism,
These are my TFP figures from the R.E.D. line. Arcee and Knockout were my first transformers figures ever and I stalked the Hasbro Pulse site for a YEAR waiting on TFP Optimus and Megatron. They're fairly affordable and retailed for $25 each. I bought my Optimus and Megatron from Big Bad Toy Store online so if you want a reliable seller for not a high markup price I totally recommend grabbing them there.
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These are some random Optimus's I've gotten over the years, from left to right I have a RID Optimus my brother gave to me, a Flame Toys Furai (I think) G1 Optimus model kit I found in a hobby lobby, a Rise of the Beasts Optimus I snagged while in Ohio, and an Orion Pax figure my dad bought me.
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This shelf has the most recent additions, left to right I got the Earthspark Optimus while I was in Florida this past week, the fig pin in a V-Stock, the other Optimus on top of the Funko I ALSO in Florida this past week, the Funko Pop from my brother yesterday, the worlds smalled Optimus from a toy store, and the MLP Optimus on EBay.
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Here I have my beautiful girl Windblade I also got from EBay.
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Signed illustration by the artist my dad bought me.
The Fanhome Optimus that I get new parts for every month.
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AAAAAAND THE IRON WARRIOR TFP OPTIMUS THAT IVE PREORDERED YIPPIEEEEEEE!!
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I love info dumping about my poor financial decisions TYSM. Other collections I have include some shadow high dolls and my obscene G3 MLP collection but those are adventures for another time. But otherwise I am planning on resin printing that TFP Soundwave model that's going around (waiting on the resin to come in) and I'm cosplaying Optimus for an anime convention I'm going to soon! Which will be the Bishoujo figure's outfit and I'll 3d print his helm to wear so YAY! I go to college this fall and I'm planning on bringing all my Optimuses for my dorm lmao so I'll probably share that adventure when decorating my dorm (also found an Optimus twin bed set 👁️👁️).
So yay! Hope you enjoyed the tour!
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hoarah-babylon · 5 months ago
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First DLC session completed!!!!! Gonna talk about my findings under the cut
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Waiting for me at the cocoon was a familiar face from the trailers. Hi Leda!!!!!!! Got to have a closer look at her armour, her belt looks just like Miquella's ring.
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The converging gold threads on the cape made me think of the Miquella's needle, and also the Godslayer Greatsword
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She told me to go touch his wrinkly arm so I did. I was expecting a cutscene but no, just gave it a little tap and off we were! Which is also fine, I think I was just hoping for the interaction with the arm to reveal something about the nature of how we got to the shadow realm.
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When I got there though..... man
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I honestly wasn't expecting my own reaction when I got to the first open area, but I cried. Like actual tears. I just love this game and experiencing new things from it I don't know man it just took me by surprise, I've been having a hard time lately too so I think it was partly relief just to have something that makes me feel happy and inspired. Thankful for this game! Ok anyway
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THE WICKER MAN ! I did try fighting him later on but he's so tough. I'm leaving him for later for sure, I have no idea what to do with him right now. His attacks are undodgeable and flatten me almost immediately, I'll figure that out later. He's cool tho. I think an item I found later called him a 'fire golem'
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FOUND THE BESTIES ! They had a health bar so I could have tried to kill them but I didn't even try because they are my friends. Anyway they were in front of a Mausoleum with a boss in it which surprised me I was like ALREADY?????? I think it was called Blackgaol Knight. He took me a WHILE. I kept telling myself go away and come back later, but I was locked in, like no he's going to perish now. But I got him eventually and the reward was great. I mean I can't use any of it with this build but the item descriptions... they got me thinking
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Warriors of what army/loyalty? What does it mean to lose your name, or your heart? This wording is very... intriguing to me. The only other mention of hearts in ER I remember off the top of my head (aside from dragon hearts) is the DLC trailer that said Miquella shrives clean the hearts of men. HM.
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So they lose their hearts by choice, but what does it mean to lose your heart? Like, literally? Figuratively? Spiritually? But I found this next part to be the most intriguing. The 'light of birth'... WHAT. DO YOU MEAN. The concept of birth in TLB has always confused me tbh, so to have something directly reference birth caught my eye immediately. And why is it apparently so revered by these knights? I have to find out more. Mama lets research :) I don't remember where I heard/read this but I remember it being theorised births came from the Erdtree rather than the typical way humans are born usually. Could it be these knights revere birth as it used to happen, as opposed to how births came to be post-Golden Order creation? Hm.
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I found one of the enemies that was posted before release! The one with the uterus imagery. This one. I was surprised it was a regular enemy, from the pic we saw it looked like a boss to me. It was just chilling on one of the monuments in the field of wheat. 'Invoke divinity' stands out to me, mainly because I can't figure out what it means. If it invokes divinity, what does it define as divine? It can't be anything to do with the Erdtree, because it clearly rejects it. Super interesting. The fact it also makes you weaker to Sleep is also v interesting
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New weapon type (I think)! I got jumpscared by a screaming enemy and they dropped this. I'm ngl though I think he was a bit bugged, he wasn't dodging any spells so I beat him pretty easily. oops. I'm noticing a lot of bestial enemies and items though... I picked up a bestial ash of war later on too. Who are 'the horned warriors'?
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Was looking out over a cliff-edge and saw this dead dragon... it honestly gagged me because I did not expect to see dragons. Which in hindsight is maybe a bit silly of me considering Messmer has what looks like Draconic eyes. But anyway
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I found what looked like a church of Marika. It was called something like 'church of consolation'. On the lead-up there were several of Messmer's warriors resting in the road. They weren't aggro to me unless I attacked first. The bigger knight in the church dropped a huge hammer that was imbued with holy damage. One of the smaller knights dropped a chestpiece
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The phrasing 'forced to wage war' is intriguing - where did these people come from? Exactly how and why were they forced?
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I found this nearby the church and it gagged me a bit. First of all mad that this kind of item exists, I wonder how many there are. Secondly, Marika made these for Messmer... but never again????? I'm so intrigued by their relationship, I need to understand their dynamic IMMEDIATELY
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Honestly thank god they're giving us more Larval Tears. I was stressing about this even though I probably won't end up using them... we'll see what weapons I pick up. I wonder if they replenish at these sites or if they'll still be a finite resource
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Shit's fucked. These people were done dirty by Messmer
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But consider: this place is gorgeous despite the horrors
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Found the first of Miquella's crosses! And met another follower of Miquella... why does he hate me :( is it cus I'm Tarnished? But like. I don't like the Erdtree either dude. You don't know me!!!!!!!!!! Nice armour tho. And accent. And thanks for showing me where the crosses are. I guess. Map referred to him as a 'hornsent'
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Like. Ok. Why don't we just be friends. Mysterious guy. Whatever like I care.
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!!!!! I thought I took a pic of the description but whatever it said something along the lines of 'a young shoot heavy with Empyrean blood. Left behind by the wounded Miquella'... so he's wounded even in this shadow realm, whatever form he's in. What are you doing fam... what's the deal....... I gotta know
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Met Freyja! She was nicer. I love her Spartan gear. She said she once fought alongside Radahn (!!!) and didn't tell me much else. But she seems chill af
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Now this guy... I've gotta know his deal. Ansbach, what do you MEAN you were formerly in service to Mohg. And now you're following Miquella. WHAT IS THAT BROTHER. I just... the implications???? Why did you leave Mohg? When? Were you in on the whole abduction thing? Why does your helmet/beard combo kinda make you look like Cthulhu? I have questions.
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Man-fly village. Uh........ yep don't like this.
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That last line sticks out to me, because of the whole, you know, Miquella the Kind thing. Be kind and ya don't get turned into a fly. Cool cool I'm uncomfortable
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Oh cool the thing on the wicker ma- THE FELL GOD OF FIRE???? Is this referring to the Giant's outer god? Or one we haven't heard of yet, one that Messmer is aligned with? Haunts the sagas of the hornsent... isn't that what the guy that was shit-talking me earlier is? What is his deal. I'm not immune to a mysterious man
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Blue skies?? in MY shadow realm???? it's more likely than you think :)
I also found a ghostflame dragon too which was cool but he has SO much health. I simply did not have the patience for it at that moment. But it's cool seeing so many different things from different backgrounds and allegiances.
My fave thing about the followers so far is how everyone comes from such diverse backgrounds, it's in-keeping with Miquella's whole ethos of welcoming all. But... why are they all here? How? Why has Miquella 'called' to them? Has Miquella called to them all? Now I have all these strangers motivations to worry about as well as the blonde baby's. But really I'm so excited to find more. This already has my brain whirring and I haven't even stumbled across a major boss yet!!! fromsoft you've done it again!!!!!!
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kidgeygirl · 7 months ago
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It's been many, many years since I've written anything for Voltron, but here I am. Despite many complaints, my heart has always been stuck on our favorite red and green duo. Lately, I've been back in the fandom, and now that I've matured into early adulthood, I've decided to try and find the perfect way to write them post war, but realistically (or at least, semi-realistically).
I honestly don't know how many people are still in this fandom, but I will regret not sharing my thoughts (internal storyline that has slowly been building up since forever.) so here I am. :)
Anyways, if anyone reading this is interested, here are some things to know.
I'm a slow updater, and I very much hate most of the stuff I write. So please bear with me as I navigate this story to how I envision it.
This is not my main account, this is strictly a Voltron/Kidge account, so I'm not expecting a lot of traction— however, at times this might cause a hit at my confidence, despite knowing that fact. So again, bear with me.
I'm a compliment girlie. If you read this story once it's out and like it, please let me know. It will help me in the long run and encourage me to keep this going.
I don't remember everything about Voltron as I haven't watched it fully in years, so I'm going to rewatch all of it before writing. (Don't worry, I don't have too much of a busy life right now besides babysitting.) So this story won't be right away, but I will be writing down scenes/passages while writing. I might even create a few one shots, behind the scenes stuff you won't see in the story, to give you some extra Kidge.
SOME THINGS ABOUT THE STORY—
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Shadows of Azar ~ When Keith and the Blades, a group of elite warriors, reach out to Katie for assistance on a critical mission, they discover that their past bond is far from forgotten. As they face danger, betrayal, and the weight of the universe, their connection reignites into something even more profound. Secrets unravel, alliances shift, and the line between duty and personal loyalty blurs. Amidst the chaos of battle, Keith and Katie find themselves drawn together, their shared history woven into every decision they make.
But this isn't just about saving the universe; it's about saving each other. As they navigate treacherous terrain, they confront their own vulnerabilities, fears, and desires. Keith, haunted by his past, seeks redemption. Katie, brilliant and determined, grapples with the sacrifices she's made for her family. Together, they forge a new path—one that transcends duty and becomes a testament to resilience, trust, and love.
As the Blades' mission unfolds, Keith and Katie must confront not only external threats but also the complexities of their emotions.
After the battle is won, will they embrace this newfound connection and ignite a brilliant flame together, or will it consume them—reducing everything they’ve cherished to ashes?
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Ages— Keith 25, Katie (Pidge) 21
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Here, we find that Pidge goes more by 'Katie'. Only the ones closest to her call her Pidge. (Family, Paladins.)
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Allura is alive!!
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Ships— Kidge. Allurance. Hunk&Shay. Shiro and Curtis. Matt and V.
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This is a slow burn!! (In a way). It's not a large storyline, as I'm not planning to be a whole book. Kind of more of a mini series. (I haven't decided how many chapters, so maybe it'll change.)
This is told in Third POV, but you can tell when it switches its focus from Katie and Keith.
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(I will be posting a playlist.)
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veryqueermovies · 1 year ago
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Upcoming Queer Shows and Films! Most of these are TBD because of the Writers Strike but these will hopefully be coming out within the next year. The upcoming Queer shows list is lacking because it's actually hard to find out about upcoming shows.. especially finding if a show that's not even out yet is Queer. This is also not every Queer Film and Show coming out soon this is just what I could find within a few hours of searching. I also added Renewed Queer Shows because we need that in our lives..
Upcoming Queer Films: 🏳️‍🌈
Theater Camp (July 13th)
Kokomo City (July 28th)
Passages (August 4th)
Red, White & Royal Blue (August 11th)
Mutt (August 18th)
Bottoms (August 25th)
Rustin (TBD)
Good Grief (TBD)
My Animal (TBD)
Eileen (TBD)
Femme (TBD)
Ganymede (TBD)
I Wish You All The Best (TBD)
Aristotle & Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe (TBD)
The Old Guard 2 (TBD)
New Queer Films Out Now: 🏳️‍🌈
Nimona (Netflix)
Fanfic (Netflix)
Eldorado (Netflix)
Jagged Mind (Hulu)
Romeo And Isabella (Prime Video/Tubi)
Remembering His Touch (Prime Video)
Nelly & Nadine (Prime Video)
Monica (Prime Video)
The Neighbor (Prime Video)
The Stroll (Max)
Upcoming Queer Shows: 🏳️‍🌈
Fellow Travelers (Coming this Fall)
Gen V (TBD)
Untitled Queer Ghost Hunting Series by Kristen Stewart (TBD)
Newer Shows With Queer Characters Out Now: 🏳️‍🌈
Glamorous (Netflix)
Class (Netflix)
Fake Profile (Netflix)
Wolf Pack (Paramount+)
School Of Lies (Disney+)
With Love (Prime)
XO, Kitty (Netflix)
Renewed Queer Shows: 🏳️‍🌈
What We Do In The Shadows: Season 5 (July 13th)
The Dragon Prince Mystery Of Aaravos: Season 5 (July 27th)
Good Omens: Season 2 (July 28th)
Heartstopper: Season 2 (August 3rd)
Only Murders In The Building: Season 3 (August 8th)
Loki: Season 2 (October 6th)
Yellowjackets: Season 3 (TBD)
Young Royals: Season 3 (TBD)
A League Of Their Own: Season 2 (TBD)
Warrior Nun: Season 3 (TBD)
The Last Of Us: Season 2 (TBD)
Our Flag Means Death: Season 2 (TBD)
The Sandman: Season 2 (TBD)
Alert Missing Persons Unit: Season 2 (TBD)
Fire Country: Season 2 (TBD)
9-1-1: Season 7 (TBD)
9-1-1 Lone Star: Season 5 (TBD)
Interview With The Vampire: Season 2 (TBD)
Chucky: Season 3 (TBD)
The Sex Lives Of College Girls: Season 3 (TBD)
The Newsreader: Season 2 (TBD)
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